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Sunday, July 6, 2014

THE SOUTH COUCH REPORT : Toronto v D.C.... or stuck on a couch in Burlington

(I'm sure it's) A nice evening out at the park.  The sun is shining (apparently).  And a good crowd is there for some footie (thanks to the stream). This is the first time I have been unable to make a game due to GO Transit cancelling a train.  In all fairness, my friend and I headed back to his place,  watched the shootout with the wives,  and then missed the next train (if it came which I assume it didn't).

Toronto is coming off a draw against Chicago and are up against the somehow the first place DC United.  Seriously when did that happen?

The nice part is, even if the game is crap, we can always play "try to make the 4 month old daughter Olivia laugh".

Onto the match!

13' - it doesn't wook wike DC is vewwy good? No it doesn't.  Wuis Silwa used to pway for Towonto but now he's a baaaaad gwuy.

28' - Orr pokes through to Morrow who threads a ball into the box and just misses a sliding Defoe.

36' - who's that with the ball? Is it Bradley? Is it Bradley? Yes it is!  Uh-yes it is!

44' - My coochie-coochie-coo is just killing it right now.

HALF TIME MOOD : they are first place? Really?

45' -  SUB - Oduro on for Orr

54' - GOAL -  Nick DeLeon undressed Hagglund, loses Warner then pops it past Bendik.  Good goal.  Baby Olivia makes a frowny face. I see why they're in first now.

60' - GOAL - Jackson to a deep Defoe, lays it back to Jackson who fires, stopped by Hamid but poached by Moore and giggles all around.

60' -  SUB - Osorio on for Bradley

64' - Osorio has the ball.  PEEK-A-BOO!  Now he doesn't!

68' - GOAL -  Cross comes in for a Perry Kitchen  header, down past Bendik. Bad marker.  Bad.

60' -  SUB - Lovitz on for Jackson

73' - Baby can roll over onto her tummy, but cannot beat the roll over on to her back.

86' - YELLOW - Hagglund hauls down Johnson from behind on a break and gets lucky with not being sent off

No wait...

88' - RED - Nevermind. Ref corrected it.  Hagglund is off. 

5 mins of extra time

90+1 - Who's got my pinky finger?  Who's got my pinky finger?  Olivia does!

90+5 - Looping ball from Moore at the death has Lovitz flying on the wing to rocket it toward goal only to be stopped by Hamid. Fantastic everything here.


Man of the Match : Bill Hamid, actually.  He played very well.  Moore was a bit of a terror tho, wasn't he?

Goat of the Game : Hagglund not for the card, but for a bit of a howler in defending the first goal.  I was a close second as my nom-nom on baby's tummy made her cry, so that's on me.

Ref Rating : 5 out of 5. I appreciate any official who will correct their mistakes immediately (even if it's against Toronto) instead of handing out a revenge card AND he let the game roll at the end which made for a great finish.

I Am Not The Gaffer But... : I would've woken the little one from her nap earlier.  She'll be awake later than usual.

Kit Spotting : I was TOLD someone was in a Darlington 1883 kit, but I wasn't there.  Even after I suggested that a photo be sent.

If You PVR'd It : The whole game was rather engaging.  Just let it run from start to finish.  It's no Netherlands v Costa Rica, but quality.

Player Ratings : Bendik 6, Bloom 6.5, Caldwell 6.5, Hagglund 5.5, Morrow 6, Jackson 6 [Lovitz N/A], Bradley 6.5 [Osorio N/A] , Warner 6, Orr 6.5 [Oduro 6], Moore 7, Defoe 6.5

@ignirtoq was disappointed not to be there in person, but shit happens.  And to be fair, the game wasn't crap, but this kid is sooooo cute.  She's got big blue eyes and monkey ears.  It was a struggle to watch the game and her be so happy. 


  1. The keeper needs to accept responsibility for the winner. No one in his way and and inswinging corner that arrives to the opponent's head in the middle of the goal inside the six yard box, and the keeper remains rooted to his line?? POOOR!

    1. In hindsight, you're right. He wasn't out of position and the header wasn't exactly on the doorstep. If he fell to his left he most likely could've stopped it.