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Monday, July 7, 2014

THE STARTING 11: Rejected alternatives to World Cup penalty shootouts

Hey, we know that dude!
There really isn't a more heartbreaking way to go home from the World Cup than by being on the losing end of a penalty shootout. Years of qualifying, training, preparation and group stage victories can all be cut short by a goalkeeper's glove or the wide shot of a nervous kick-taker. However, matches can't go on forever and a deciding competition must exist. While the penalty shootout survives for now, word is that FIFA had polled some of the qualified nations for the current World Cup to find out how they would like a stalemate match decided.

11. SWITZERLAND: Sudden-death fondue party

10. BOSNIA AND HERZEGOVINA: First team with the word "and" in their name advances

9. NIGERIA: First team to send a spam email from a "prince" wins

8. ENGLAND: Team with most 1966 World Cup victories moves on

7. URUGUAY: "Who can eat a defender fastest?" competition

6. RUSSIA: Loser gets annexed

5. FRANCE: Most devastating existential crisis is forlornly victorious

4. GREECE: Last team to score wins

3. USA: Guns

2. GERMANY: Most umlauts wins

1. BRAZIL: Wax Off!

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