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Saturday, September 6, 2014

THE SOUTH STAND REPORT - Toronto v Philadelphia... Or The Only Bump I See Is That Think You Call A Defence, Amirite?

Last night was as close to what a hurricane must look like as I've ever seen in person.  Brutally hot and humid,  torrential rain and a light show that Benson & Hedges would've been proud of.  Today is gorgeous... partly cloudy, cool breeze, high of 22C.  Perfect environment for football.

I said nothing about it needing to be good.

If the idea of a win under a new manager is a theory, consider the theory smashed to bits and the forensics team laughed and said "this could be anything, but I don't have that kind of time".  It kinda feels like watching a break-up over Facebook : He goes radio silence, stays off the grid.  Meanwhile she's going to that Lithuanian restaurant that she kept going on about trying, taking up kayaking with an instructor by the name of "Storm", wearing a new dress and going out - all cries for attention of "Look at me!  See, I never needed you.  You were just holding me back!"

Except she was nearly hospitalized by the bad cepelinai, "Storm" isn't a licensed instructor and that dress was see-through under black light.

It's been a disaster, and the disaster continued this afternoon at the Rebound Ground a.k.a. BMO Field.

7' - GOAL - Wrestler Big Show's brother Conor Casey a.k.a. Medium Show, gets on the end of a cross and heads it over a leaping Bendik.
Fig 1. Two guys I wouldn't want to meet in an alley for a fight


27'- YELLOW - Henry for stuff.  Likely deserved it.

43' - GOAL Wenger pops it over Bendik in another cross and header thing.  I'm pretty sure that's Philadelphia's only move.

43' - SUB - Bekker in for Warner

Half Time mood : thank God that's done with...

68' - SUB - Jackson on for DeRo

77' - SUB - Creavalle comes on for Hagglund.

4 minutes of far too much extra time


Man of the Match : Gilberto because naming it Bendik is too easy and as a lack of talent before us, he's trying to be the leader,  at least emotionally.

Goat of the Game : raise your hand if you were a defender today.

Ref Rating : 4 out of 5. Maybe because Toronto is kinda bad, it's hard to focus on officiating blunders so they get a pass.

Kit Spotting : Vera Cruz Tiburones Rojos from Mexico and a newer Luton Town kit even though I truly love the idea of a programme vendor wearing a fake kit.

I Am Not the Gaffer But...  : if I were I'd be ordering take out in Bezbatchenko's office and drafting up a strategy.

In Case You PVR'd It : if you like watching mediocre efforts resulting in lots of woodwork smashing, skip the first half and have your finger on  the fast forward button for the second

I'm having a hard time deciding if Bradley is having a nightmare, playing well without the help, frustrated or just terrible.  All outcomes are very plausible... When Maurice Edu touches the ball,  why don't we chant "T.O. Success Story"?... I'm waiting to see Konopka start due to a Bendik injury of a strained vocal chord. Lots of hot tea with lemon and honey I suspect for the copious amount of yelling he must do each match... This slide could not come at a better time as season ticket renewals aren't that far off... Such a nice day at the park. (see, I can say something nice)...  Little shout out to the Red Patch Boy living in Victoria who listens to the Vocal Minority Podcast, thanks for listening homie... I wonder if our tenth manager will finally be "the one".  Often...  Mr. Caldwell, I hope your recovery is going well.  Please do not come back until you are 100%. The thought of you being out longer makes me very sad... Seriously Philly, you've had your turn with Le Toux long enough.  Time to share... Anyone hear if O'Dea is doing well?...  Do other Toronto sports have open discussion post-match on public transit or is this a TFC phenomenon. Interesting theory regarding Leiweke's departure on the GO Train that I hadn't heard: it's focused on the failure of not acquiring the Bills plus Defoe wanted out.  Also suggested that MLS sunk the loan and/or sale of Defoe because it would make the club and league look bad.

Player Ratings : Bendik 8, Hagglund 4.5 [Creavalle N/A] , Orr 5, Henry 5.5, Bloom 5, De Rosario 6 [Jackson N/A], Warner 6 [Bekker 6], Bradley 6, Oduro 6, Moore 6, Gilberto 6.5

 Fig 2. How to get other players to stop making fun of your kit sponsor.