THE SOUTH STAND REPORT : Toronto v. New England... or Look a Ferris Wheel!

Ya know, this was a terrible match.

Top to bottom.

The final score was Toronto 0, New England 3 (Nguyen, Rowe, and son of Canadian Legend Alex Bunbury that shall not be named - that last one really pissed me off), in which the lack of organization in the back field left Bendik hung out to dry all afternoon.  At least our favourite cuss word got 20 minutes to run out... Fagundez!

So you'll have to forgive us as what my wife and I did after the match is much more interesting...

On to the Ex!

13' - The crafts building had the usual stuff but that's to be expected.

19' - three people were sitting in their motorized scooters, comparing rides.  Too bad it was in the middle of an aisle.

23' - BUY - The wife buys fudge.  The Butterfinger one looks crazy!

GOOD IDEA 1, BAD IDEA 0

29' - They had these plaques for "Prayer for the"  (some profession) like teachers and engineers.  They had one prayer for Defenders which went something like this...

Dear Football Lord,
Please grant me the patience to leap for a cross at the right moment
Wait for the ball before committing
The talent to cover my partner
To be a leader when there is chaos
To move the ball confidently around the back
To never over hit a backpass to the keeper
And not to play my mark onside

Amen

I'm sure these will be snapped up and given as gag gifts all this week.

37' - I can carney bark better than this guy! If you want someone to get excited over your hammer and launch the from game, you should make it clear that you can win a ninja turtle in one shot.   Terrible finishing.

The second half of our journey took place in the Direct Energy Bldg, still more of the same...

48' - near miss with the grossly overpriced Lemonade stand.  When the hell has that ever been a good idea the second time around?  Stupid $5.

67' - the discount DVD section is always a hoot.  May live in regret walking away from Parker Lewis Can't Lose season 1 box set,  or the classic Roadhouse 2. Only time will tell.

71' - BUY - 2 dozen Tiny Tom's donuts, classic icing sugar.  Always a strong finish.
GOOD IDEA 2, BAD IDEA0

79' - BUY - The wife broke down and got one of those overpriced lemonades.  So tart.  Just weak decision making. I know who buys them now.
GOOD IDEA 2, BAD IDEA 1

87' - nearly seals the night with a cotton candy purchase, but just a few feet from goal and just didn't settle.

Man of the Match : running into a friend and catching up was kinda nice.  Seems to be doing well.

Goat of the Grounds : up yet arse lemonade extortionists

Kit Spotting : some lucky kid is wearing the new super classy PSV home kit, but serious props to the kids wearing their local shirts.  Grimsby Town (yes, the one past Hamilton, but before St. Catherines) and Toronto Croatia looking sharp

If you PVR'd the actual game : delete it, go watch the Lego Movie,  just gave you the gift of a satisfying 90 mins

For realzies, it's hard to think of a more lackluster performance all season.  Now let's purge this memory and await Philadelphia!

THE MATCHUP: "We're not playing the Wizards anymore Toto"

Suck it Benfica St. Louis



TORONTO FC (15th) VS. SPORTING KC (18th)

　

BMO FIELD - SATURDAY 7PM ET

TV: TSN

　

THE KICKABOUT:

- What is more devastating: a massive 10-game road trip; or, coming off a humiliating 6-2 loss at home and being decimated by injury and International duty?

- With Adrian Cann injured for the season, will Nana Attakora finally get the chance to cement his place back in the starting line-up?

- Would Aron Winter dare start the dreaded Gargan-Harden ("The Raging Hargens") combo again after they helped handicap TFC in the first 10 minutes last week?

- How would the seemingly low morale and egos of TFC handle a loss at home to the worst club in MLS?
- Can the pent-up patriotic fury that supporters have been ready to release against Canadian turncoat Teal Bunbury be redirected into irony for a singing of “There’s only one Alex Bunbury”?

　

MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "The No Blizzard - No Wizard"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:

TORONTO FC: Stefan Frei, Tony Tchani, Mikael Yourassowsky

SPORTING KC: Omar Bravo, Teal Bunbury, Kei Kamara
　
THE ODDS:
- Toronto fans mocking Sporting KC until seeing pictures of their new stadium; then gently weeping as it rains on them: 10-1
- Sporting Kansas City to re-brand the team at halftime: 100-1
- 2,000 TFC fans being outnumbered by 10,000 immigrants from Missouri at BMO Field: 1000-1
　
WHO ARE YA?

- Sporting's insanely long road-trip to start 2011 may have caused them to falter in the MLS table but in a silver lining they did qualify for the 2012 Homeless World Cup

- If it rains on Saturday evening, BMO Field will break FIFA's matchday precipitation record set in the now defunct Brazilian Rainforest Division

- If TFC loses, manager Aron Winter could break the Guinness Book record for most uses of the word "pity" by a single person, smashing Mr.T's previous tally set in 1986

　

THE WAGER: 1-1 Draw (2011: 12-5 with 4 exact scores)

FUTURE HEADLINE: "SPORTING FANS AWAIT BRAND NEW STADIUM - TFC FANS AWAIT PRECIPITATION"

Only one Bunbury