There is no Spoon...

"I'm Neo... who's Geo?"



If only Toronto FC scouts had watched The Matrix on the flight down to Ecuador to watch Geovanny "The Spoon" Caicedo. "Do not try to bend The Spoon — that's impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth: there is no Spoon" is a famous line from the sci-fi film inspired by Mo Johnston's 5 years of management. Today that line became truth as The Reds announced that the club and their new defender Caicedo had mutually parted ways, taking TFC's bally-hooed off-season defensive depth with him.
　
Caicedo has been publicly expressing his difficulty adapting to the North American game, in particular the crashing and banging style. Strange for a man as hulking as the 6 foot 2 Ecuadorian international. The club hinted at personal issues as well in explanation for a bad loss to squad depth as the season is set to begin. So, as the season begins, the back four's only new face will be the talented Miguel Aceval but the rub is that he will have to be partnered with the limited Ty Harden or a very raw choice between Aaron Maund or Doneil Henry until Adrian Cann is 100% healthy. It seems unlikely that a replacement will be found before the summer transfer window.
　
On top of being a tremendous disappointment to the squad, take a moment to mourn the loss for bloggers today as we have lost a man with such a strange nickname. "The Spoon" immediately gave us a season's worth of puns that are now lost. There will be no "The Spoon dishes to Lambe on a Silva Plata", no "Spoonman" videos and a 70% loss to future Matrix references.
　
Now please bow your heads and join us in losing so many puns...

LETTERS FROM CAMP: The Un-Mighty Bouch

And then there was one.                       Photo: Toronto FC



ELBEKAY WE HARDLY KNEW YA!
In a bit of an unexpected move, Toronto FC announced that they have waived midfielder Elbekay Bouchiba. The experienced holding mid joined The Reds a year ago as part of a Dutch trio of signings alongside Nick Soolsma and Javier Martina. Bouchiba's signing last year had some guessing that he was a built-in replacement for the underachieving Julian de Guzman but a preseason ACL tear saw the tough-looking Dutch-Moroccan miss the entire season. With a year away from the game, a medium-sized contract and an international roster spot hanging over his head, his dismissal isn't a shock but perhaps the timing, one week before the club's first competitive match, is.
　
DOME AWAY FROM HOME
The Reds patted themselves on the back yesterday by announcing that the SkyDome was "sold out" for next week's CCL match against Davy Knickers and The Boyz. Capped at 43,500 - the match will of course break all previous TFC attendance records but how many bums avec seats is yet to be seen. The usual number of scalper-held tickets along with large swathes of "corporate client" seats could still create some empty spaces but no matter what, it will still make Argos management and fans double-blue with envy. That is of course if the usual Toronto sports-fan habit of showing up a half-hour late can be avoided.
　
GEO POSTIONING
Not really shocking for anyone who watched him struggle against Orlando City but Geovanny Caicedo says he is having difficulty with the North American game. In a surprisingly candid interview with MLS en Español (article here... but in aforementioned foreign language) the hulking Ecuadorian admits to be surprised over the level of physicality and crashing on a MLS backline. It is a bit surprising considering Caicedo's frame but it may be a while before we see the best of the defender.

The D ran off with The Spoon

Caicedo (L), and rumoured trilaist "The Dish"



Not only has it been a good day for TFC's defensive line - but a great day for puns. Hot on the heels of this morning's "Ecks'ual satisfaction", Aron Winter started TFC's Media Day off with a bang by announcing that the club had signed Ecuadorian Geovanny Caicedo. The 30-year old defender is not only an established international back with his native Ecuador but he arrives with his very own nickname - and maybe TFC's most bizarre - "The Spoon".
　
Putting the many punnage possibilities Caicedo will provide in 2012 aside, the solid 6 Foot 2 back adds an experienced and versatile option in a back four that is evolving from paper-thin to adequately deep. Caicedo has spent his entire professional career in the Ecuadorian club ranks most recently with LDU Quito, the former club of his once-again teammate Joao Plata.
　
Not long after announcing Caicedo's signing (with some gentle media prompting), Winter let the cat half way out of the bag that Chilean defender Miguel Aceval is also close to signing with The Reds. With Adrian Cann's return getting closer and Dicoy Williams on the rehab horizon, the defence that yesterday demanded the inclusion of some lesser talented players, is suddenly strong if not flashy.
　
Of course we wouldn't be doing our job if we didn't return to the most important factor of Caicedo's signing - the wordplay. From "Silva Spoons" to "Spoon dishes Lambe on a Silva Plata" and on to "there is no Spoon Geo", Caicedo may be the best gift to football writers since Maxim Usanov gave us a season's worth of Ivan Drago references. "The Spoon" to TFC - what a scoop! See.