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Tuesday, March 30, 2010

THE STARTING 11: Side effects of hosting the 2010 MLS Cup

--"No it's not the NASL team... it's the November weather forecast"

“The Don” made Toronto an offer it couldn't refuse. Before the shiny new grass has even settled at BMO Field, MLS Commissioner Don Garber visited town to announce that T.O. will host the MLS Cup Final this year. Yes, on November 21st, as the tropical winter breeze blows in off Lake Ontario, 22 men in shorts will jump up and down ,desperately trying not to get frostbite on their Red Bulls. It's another good opportunity for TFC to show why they are the model "economic" franchise (as opposed to model winning club) as well as showcase the city, but there are a few other effects hosting the cup will have...
11. Landon Donovan gets to play an elf in Toronto's Santa Claus Parade
10. "Bitchy" the BMO Field Hawk to get tiny toque
9. MLSE to claim "they successfully brought a championship team to Toronto" - no one said it had to be TFC
8. Good chance a goalkeeper will get his tongue stuck to goalpost
7. Toronto newspapers forced to run full page articles explaining what "Championship Games" are to Torontonians.
6. Don Garber gets to live in the CN Tower for two weeks
5. Danny Dichio to be frozen in carbonite during halftime show
4. The game will mark the best opportunity Mo Johnston has to being that close to a trophy again
3. Finally, a chance to get Americans hooked on Chip Buttys
2. Football chants to be replaced by 21,000 rhythmic chattering teeth
1. $9 Frozen Beer

------------------------"Oooooh, Frozen Dich-io!"


  1. 5. Danny Dichio to be frozen in carbonite during halftime show... LOL

  2. 12. David Beckham can change his name from Golden Balls to "Snow Balls"

  3. Toronto got the MLS Final? What will those crazy fans do if its Columbus vs. New York? Throw stuff at everyone?

    Too bad its not 2011 - then they could see Vancouver win the cup!

  4. Thanks for the laugh!!!!