THE STARTING 11: Uncomfortable things to overhear at BMO Field

For those of us who have braved the cold/ braved the wet/ braved the searing heat/ braved the return of the cold in the same season at BMO Field, know that it is an intimate place to watch a football match. It's no prized pig and not going to win any architectural prizes but you are on top of the action and the sightlines are great. We'll take it over The Emirates Stadium any day. Part of being in the raucous crowd however is hearing the odd snippet of conversation that drifts across the crowd like a breeze... but with more swearing. Some of it can raise an eyebrow...

11. "What do you mean by Corn-Rows all over?”

10. "That streamer looks damp."

9. "It says Chip Butty but it tastes like feet."

8. "Yeah, my wife used to date Joe Cannon."

7. "Is this a boil or a mole?"

6. "Sorry Mr. Lombardo but that pass is expired."

5. "Daddy? What's a wanker?"

4. "The 50/50 draw girl gave me half of her phone number!"

3. "Security confiscated my underwear."

2. "We could do anything under this giant Dichio banner."

1. "What happens at BMO, stays at BMO."