THE MATCHUP: Dallas Burn after reading

Pretty sure you got burned on this one Dallas

TORONTO FC (8th) VS. FC DALLAS (5th)
　
BMO Field - Saturday 4PM ET
TV: CBC ----RADIO: THE FAN 590
　
It's the match that makes footy ignorants go " but they're both named the FC's?" TFC hosts the boys from Pizza The Hutt Park (enjoy the video) who have more nicknames than trophies - FC Dallas. The club's monikers include: "Toros", "Red Stripes", "The Hoops" and of course "Burn". The only time I've used all of those words together was the morning after my visit to Jamaica's top rodeo where I ate that giant bowl of extra spicy Spaghetti-O's. Think about it... and... you got it! Well done.
　
The match marks the start of the second half of TFC's season and there are fears that The Reds are suffering from their annual summer swoon. Offence has been sputtering and effort levels have been questionable lately. On top of it all, the boys in red were devastated by their Carlsberg Cup loss to the mighty Bolton Wanderers. Can they pick themselves up after losing such a prestigious trophy? The silver lining of that friendly was the potential front line of Maicon Santos and Mista who did show some signs of chemistry. The pretty goal they built together would beat any MLS side - and Saturday would be a great time against a quality FCD.
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "El Texi-Can Eh"
　
IT BURNS!: Brek Shea, Jeff Cunningham, Dax McCarthy
IT'S RED!: Mista, Maicon Santos, Julian de Guzman
　
THE ODDS:
- Chad Barrett trying to shoot J.R. Ewing... and missing: 2-1
- Danny Dichio and Jeff Cunningham re-forming their "Fast and Furious" duo one last time and releasing a hit rap version of "Ebony and Ivory": 250-1
- On-loan FCD keeper Josh Lambo legally changing his name to John Rambo: 5-1
- Mo Johnston c*ck-teasing Toronto fans with word of "an imminent new signing": EVENS
　
WHO ARE YA?
- FCD's Pizza The Hutt Park (again, you're welcome) is located in suburban Frisco, Texas, a town named after the slang word local sheriffs gave to roughing up Mexicans. "Frisco"
- Shotgun/rodeo clown related crimes are apparently down 15% at FC Dallas games this season!
- Original team name "Dallas Burn" was voted second all-time least inspiring football club name only behind Austria's "FC Wacker Innsbruck"
- Attempts at organizing a new Philadelphia-style FCD supporter's group has failed. For some reason "The Sons of Bush" just didn't catch on.
　
TEX-MEX SAYS: 1-0 Dallas
MEXI-CAN SAYS: 1-0 Toronto
HEADLINE: "DALLAS RESULT GIVES PREKI BURNING SENSATION"