THE MATCHUP: 5 Year Plan vs. 5 Month Plan

"The Champagne of Football Clubs"

NEW YORK (5th) VS. TORONTO FC (8th)
　
Red Bull Arena - Wednesday 7:30PM
TV: GOL TV
　
The last time Toronto FC played in New York (or New Jersey to be exact) they were fighting for their playoff lives against one of the worst teams in MLS history. Of course that night was a colossal failure which led TFC to the current Preki era, also known as Year 4 in Mo Johnston's much ballyhooed "5 Year Plan". Since starting in Toronto, the ex-NYRB GM Johnston has been talking of his grand half-decade road to glory but anyone with half a footy brain knows - 5 year plans don't exist in football.
　
If you need more proof, take a look at TFC's opponent New York. The 15th place in 2009 Red Bulls have been transformed in 5 months. Two additional designated players, a raft of smart signings, a smart tactical manager and a director with scouting connections throughout the world - not just through his agent. If TFC played in England, their 5 year plan would see them in the Blue Square Premier by now.
　
No, the 5 Year Plan has always been a myth to gently extend Mo Johnston's tenure as GM. If there really was one, TFC would be laden with young talent, have a crop full of players in their prime and a coach with a proper football style in place long-term by now. That's a lot of work left before year 5 arrives. What is needed for true success now is an ownership with the will to treat their rabid fans with respect not as commodities. Sadly, MLSE will not be that ownership until much like New York Red Bulls, they have a half-empty stadium to fill.
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "The Harrison Hoo-Ha"
　
5 MONTH RED BULLS: Juan Pablo Angel, Rafael Marquez, Thierry Henry
5 YEAR REDS' BULL: Dwayne De Rosario, Chad Barrett, Stefan Frei
　
THE ODDS:
- Thierry Henry scoring with a handball infuriating Toronto's Irish community: 5-1
- NYRB signing more players during the half than Mo Johnston will in 2011: 2-1
- Carl Robinson wearing a sh*t-eating grin throughout match: EVENS
- TFC's bus driver mistaking Harrison, New Jersey for the set of "Escape From New York 2: Snakeball": 10-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
- Red Bull Arena's PA system blasts a song called "Baby Got Backe" pre-match in honour of NYRB's Swedish manager Hans Backe
- Before MLSE bought Toronto's MLS franchise, a major beverage company was inspired by Red Bull's New York club and considered creating "FC Canada Dry Toronto" instead
- Not all of Red Bull Arena's innovations are a success - the energy drink/ French fry sandwich "Chip Bull-ty” has been an awful flop
- Harrison, New Jersey's nickname is "The Gateway to Newark“. The towns citizens are called Harrisonfords and most work in main local industries - Crime-scene chalk manufacturing, sewer steam baking and concrete footwear cobbling
　
RED BULL LEGS SAY: 3-1 New York
GINGER ALE BELLY SAYS: 0-0 Draw
HEADLINE: "RED BULL SUPPORTERS THANK EX-GM MO JOHNSTON FOR GETTING FIRED"

"Harrison? Yeah, turn left at the giant head."