"Hey - thatsa spicy LaBrocca no?!"CHICAGO FIRE 0 - TORONTO FC 0
In the city where deep dish pizza pie is included in most wedding vows, it was clear tonight that Toronto FC are not a complete slice. I know what you're saying... "Hey Yorkies, you got your post-match drink on?" No... not yet at least. Just follow my pizzanalogy.
Preki's Pizzeria slice has a fantastic crust in solid, dependable, golden Stefan Frei. The defensive "sauce" is tasty if unspectacular - chunks of Cann and Attakora save the often tart and watery bits of Garcia and random ex-Soviet spice. The cheesy midfield is hit and miss but fills a hole - the expensive slices of JDG should mix better but the always hot and bubbling DeRo brings the flava! But... then there's the toppings. After 5 years of masterchef Mo's recipe, the best we could serve on top was the world's slowest pepperoni and an invisible onion that makes us cry.
Ok, I'm hungry now so I'll be fast. Tonight's "must-win" in Chi-Town was a very winnable match for TFC and if they even had an ounce of attacker better than the hard-working but over his head O'Brian White and the absolute ghost that is Jacob Peterson, they would have had 3 points. Yes, Preki's "unlucky" mantra will be upset over missed hand-ball fouls by the Fire but you can't win games waiting for favourable ref calls. You must score goals.
Chicago had their fair share of 2nd half chances, including a massive sitter missed by Freddie "Suddenly Elderly" Ljungberg, and the game did pick up to a frenetic pace, but once again TFC had no answer in the box. In the end, a single point each is a fair result but does little for TFC's playoff quest. Cheese pizzas are okay sometimes... but they never win trophies.
MAN OF THE MATCH: STEFAN FREI (TFC)... crust
GOAT OF THE MATCH: JACOB PETERSON (TFC)... ghost
MATCH IN FIVE WORDS: Fiery. Scrappy. Handbally. Frustratey. Non-Playoffy.
SENSATIONAL HEADLINE: "REDS' SLICE OF PLAYOFF PIE GETTING COLD"
TOTALLY FAKE POST-MATCH QUOTE: "Juust when I am aboujt to shuute the goal someone in der crowwd yell "Yo Freddie - IKEA sucks" - for the Swedish man, this hjurts very muuch and I miss!" - Fire midfielder Freddie Ljungberg on his embarrassing miss on goal
While I wait for my pizza, here’s a Chicago classic…
Are you listening TFC? "Get Busy"
Posts
i guess you can be thankful ljungberg is shit and missed that breakaway...and they could have hit that free kick at the end...but still, besides running around like a fat Ibrahim, White truly does suck.
ReplyDeleteYet another brutally difficult game to watch. Mo has built one entertaining team to watch... if you're on death row.
ReplyDeleteNothing but frustration with the teams performance.
Surprised you didn't mention Preki's bitch slapping of camera....
MLSE keeps my smoking and drinking habit alive... all due to poor showing of the team on the pitch.