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Thursday, September 9, 2010

THE STARTING 11: Educational courses at TFC Academy

" It just doesn't add up Einstein"

It's the first week back to school and students everywhere are getting their first look at the new curriculum. From the Ivy League to your Kegger-specialist institutes, jocks and nerds unite briefly to analyze their courses for the year. Toronto FC isn't immune from this either. The TFC Academy has an educational component as part of its training and we had to wonder - what would the courses look like if Mo Johnston and Preki designed the curriculum?
11. MEDIA STUDIES 101: Avoiding The Media
10. SOCIOLOGY: Making Contacts via The First Wave Agency
9. INTRO TO PSYCHOLOGY: Annually Manipulating Consumers
8. PHYSICAL EDUCATION: How to Shove a Cameraman
6. ADVANCED MATHMATICS: How to Destroy a Salary Cap
5. CAPITALISM 101: Introduction to Cheap Labour
4. WORLD GEOGRAPHY: Exploring Latvia and The Gambia
3. FALL OF THE ROMAN EMPIRE: "Not Enough Defence"
2. WORLD WAR II: "History's 5 Year Plan"
1. CREATIVE WRITING: 1000 Synonyms for "Unlucky"


  1. Number 8 should be nearer to the top of the list. Uhhhh, WOW!!! What an ornery coach! Reminds me of other fiery coaches (sorry for the hockey references) like Pat Burns and Pat Quinn. They scare the players into overachieving at first, then the players become what they are - average (at best) MLSE merchandisers. Bring on the new 2011 kits!!!

    BTW, I haven't overlooked the lack of "Vanilla" reference in this post. Just saying.

  2. Possum... are you in danger of becoming a Yorkies trivia buff? Ha! Much respect.

    Vanilla references are never far from the surface but Peterson's ghost-like invisibility along with his super-whiteness may be leading to a new nickname... "Casper"

    Keep reading mate - I'm sure a head scratching, phantom appearance by Vanilla/ Casper is only a couple of days away.