THE MATCHUP: TFC need to attack... 19th Century style!

Death of General Pike at York - nice place for a footy stadium!

TORONTO FC (9TH) VS. D.C.UNITED (16TH)
　
BMO Field - Saturday 4PM ET
TV: CBC
　
D.C. United comes to Toronto but a shadow of the league's glamour club they once were. In a sad way, their recent fall from grace has also been a loss for MLS. Any league is that bit much more fun when there is a superclub or a mutual villain for all other clubs to hate. D.C., the four time MLS Cup Champs, have missed the playoffs for the last two seasons and will do so again in 2010 but could their visit to Toronto pay off a 196 year debt?
　
In the midst of the War of 1812, American forces raided York (now Toronto) and infamously torched, pillaged and looted the town during "The Battle of York", which started not far from present-day BMO Field. In revenge for the ruthless raid, the British (Canadian) forces stormed Washington D.C. burning numerous public buildings including The White House. Has this sudden "demise" in D.C. United's form been a giant ruse to strike back at Toronto at our most vulnerable moment - the playoff push?! Those scoundrels!
　
Ok, maybe it's far-fetched, ok very far-fetched, but if Preki's Reds aren't ready to do battle, including offensive battling, then the seemingly toothless United could be ready to strike. The Capitalists did make the US Open Cup semi-finals and under interim coach Ben Olsen, are trying to preserve some pride. United are not without talent and TFC have to step up and attack aggressively as another 0-0 Prekiball show won't win the battle... or the war.
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "Battle of York 2010"
　
REDCOATS: Dwayne De Rosario, Stefan Frei, Maicon Santos
YANKS A LOT: Dejan Jakovic, Jaime Moreno, Branko Boskovic
　
THE ODDS:
- D.C. United "suddenly" breaking out of their 2010 funk: 3-1
- United travelling to Toronto on 19th Century warships: 2500-1
- Preki calling the British loss at York "unlucky": 2-1
- Mista still missing but Sean Penn lookalike seen at Toronto Film Festival: 3-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
- United sponsor Volkswagen wanted to promote their new sportscar around this season but have instead asked the club to push used 1960's VW Camper Wagons
- Washington's historically poor record at naming their sports clubs (i.e. Bullets and Redskins) almost led to United being named "AC Stinking Foreigners" or "UnAmerican FC"
- TFC politely asked United not to put their championship stars over their crest on Saturday in case Toronto fans "started asking questions"
- United has complained to the league that TFC supporter chant "Reds Go Marching In" is insensitive to their 1812 redcoat suffering
　
SIR ISAAC BROCK SAYS: 2-0 Toronto FC
JAMES MADISON SAYS: 0-0 Draw
HEADLINE: "REDS BEAT LAST PLACE TEAM - ALL IS FORGIVEN"