THE STARTING 11: ML$E promotional slogans for the MLS Cup Final

Hope those are thermal gold jumpsuits ladies

Oh sweet, sweet karma. When ML$E first decided to lobby Major League Soccer to host this year's Cup Final, the golden goose known as Toronto FC was still honking majestically. Anselmi & Co. thought that they could sell any "soccer" game at BMO Field and those wacky immigrant TFC supporters would just snap up tickets. Then 2010 happened. ML$E in all of its wisdom let TFC slide into oblivion and once it was obvious that The Reds wouldn't be anywhere near the playoffs - desire to watch MLS Cup diminished. ML$E's answer was to panic and force feed their "valued" season ticket holders unwanted Cup tickets, but when two of the league's most boring clubs qualified for the final, clubs who struggle to find home supporters, the selling job for remaining seats got that much harder...
　
11. "Told you we'd bring the Cup to Toronto!"
　
10. "Ticket: $75. Windchill: -10C. Frostbite: Priceless."
　
9. "Watch Marvell Win!"
　
8. "Like the Super Bowl - without pesky crowds!"
　
7. "Please... don't embarrass us in front of Don Garber"
　
6. "Come party with all 13 Away Supporters!"
　
5. "Let's show MLS how to put chips on bread!"
　
4. "Be a part of history... the lowest attended final ever"
　
3. "Did you hear what Colorado said about your mother?"
　
2. "Did we mention Jürgen Klinsmann yet?"
　
1. "2 Bores 1 Cup"