Know your 2011 MLS Western Conference

"Can you be more Pacific please?"

It's that most wonderful time of the year for Major League Soccer fans. The season is upon us and everything is fresh and yet to be ruined by another season of broken promises. Oh dear God - make it end already! Ah-hem... looking forward of course.
　
The lead-up to any new season is a time when media outlets across the league do their annual predictions and previews and we here at The Yorkies are anything if not a serious, hard-hitting media behemoth. You in the back... we hear you laughing. So here goes, The Yorkies' "Know Your MLS 2011". Despite hating East and West Conferences, we know you have a life outside this blog (which angers us to no end) so we will split it up for your convenience. Go West my son! Here's "Know Your MLS Western Conference"....
　
CHIVAS USA - Home Depot Center
MANAGER/ NEXT MANAGER: Robin Fraser / The "Dos Equis" Man
NICKNAME/ OUR NICKNAME: The Goats / Chivachangas
SHIRT SPONSOR/ NEXT SPONSOR: Corona / Nick LaBrocca Personal Injury Lawyer
PLAYER WE'D STEAL: Ante Jazic
WELL KNOWN SUPPORTERS: Taco Bell Dog, Cheech Marin, Ghost of Ricardo Montalban
EXPERT PREDICTION/ OUR PREDICTION: Bottom of league/ Cursing in Mexican
　
COLORADO RAPIDS - Dick's Sporting Goods Park
MANAGER/ NEXT MANAGER: Gary Smith / RapidsMan
NICKNAME/ OUR NICKNAME: Rapids / The Ron Burgundys
SHIRT SPONSOR/ NEXT SPONSOR: None / Denver Hayes Discount Jeans
PLAYER WE'D STEAL: Conor Casey
WELL KNOWN SUPPORTERS: Ghost of John Denver, Bob Denver, Denver the Last Dinosaur
EXPERT PREDICTION/ OUR PREDICTION: Title Contenders / Lame defending Champs
　
FC DALLAS - Pizza Hut Park
MANAGER/ NEXT MANAGER: Schellas Hyndman / Pizza The Hutt
NICKNAME/ OUR NICKNAME: Hoops / Queen's Park Texas Rangers
SHIRT SPONSOR/ NEXT SPONSOR: None / Anything with BBQ

PLAYER WE'D STEAL: David Ferreira
WELL KNOWN SUPPORTERS: J.R. Ewing, Rodeo clowns, Bushes
EXPERT PREDICTION/ OUR PREDICTION: Playoff contenders / Still outdrawn by High School gridiron team
　
LA GALAXY - Home Depot Center
MANAGER/ NEXT MANAGER: Bruce Arena / Any big name, washed-up, unemployed European
NICKNAME/ OUR NICKNAME: Los Galacticos / Davy B & Friends
SHIRT SPONSOR/ NEXT SPONSOR: Herbalife / L'Oreal For Men
PLAYER WE'D STEAL: Landon Donovan
WELL KNOWN SUPPORTERS: Hollywood B-Listers, Reality TV Cougars, Expat British actors
EXPERT PREDICTION/ OUR PREDICTION: Title contenders / Pretty to look at
　
PORTLAND TIMBERS - Jeld-Wen Field
MANAGER/ NEXT MANAGER: John Spencer / Timber Joey
NICKNAME/ OUR NICKNAME: Timbers / The Logs
SHIRT SPONSOR/ NEXT SPONSOR: Alaskan Airlines / Evergreen Car Air Fresheners
PLAYER WE'D STEAL: Kenny Cooper
WELL KNOWN SUPPORTERS: Clyde Drexler, Non-jailed Trailblazers, Justin Timberlake
EXPERT PREDICTION/ OUR PREDICTION: Bottom of league/ Noisy
　
REAL SALT LAKE - Rio Tinto Stadium
MANAGER/ NEXT MANAGER: Jason Kreis / A random Osmond
NICKNAME/ OUR NICKNAME: The Royals / Deportivo La Utah
SHIRT SPONSOR/ NEXT SPONSOR: Xango / Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
PLAYER WE'D STEAL: Will Johnson
WELL KNOWN SUPPORTERS: Cast of "Big Love", King of Spain, Stockton & Malone
EXPERT PREDICTION/ OUR PREDICTION: Title contenders / More trophies... wives
　
SAN JOSE EARTHQUAKES - Buck Shaw Stadium
MANAGER/ NEXT MANAGER: Frank Yallop / Dale Mitchell
NICKNAME/ OUR NICKNAME: The Quakes / Los Massacres
SHIRT SPONSOR/ NEXT SPONSOR: Amway / United Van Lines
PLAYER WE'D STEAL: Bobby Convey
WELL KNOWN SUPPORTERS: George Best's liver, Seismologists, Saint Joseph
EXPERT PREDICTION/ OUR PREDICTION: Playoff contenders / Still playing in a High School stadium
　
SEATTLE SOUNDERS FC - Qwest Field
MANAGER/ NEXT MANAGER: Sigi Schmid / A kid on XBOX LIVE
NICKNAME/ OUR NICKNAME: Rave Green / The Glowsticks
SHIRT SPONSOR/ NEXT SPONSOR: XBOX / A green ColecoVision
PLAYER WE'D STEAL: Blaise Nfuko
WELL KNOWN SUPPORTERS: The other guy in Nirvana, Frasier's dog, Sasquatch
EXPERT PREDICTION/ OUR PREDICTION: Title contenders / Telling everyone how great they are
　
VANCOUVER WHITECAPS FC - Empire Stadium / BC Place
MANAGER/ NEXT MANAGER: Teitur Thordarson / Björk
NICKNAME/ OUR NICKNAME: The Caps / Crystal Meth Palace FC
SHIRT SPONSOR/ NEXT SPONSOR: Bell / Rogers (Eventually they control everything)
PLAYER WE'D STEAL: Eric Hassli
WELL KNOWN SUPPORTERS: Steve Nash, Tommy Chong, Stan Smyl
EXPERT PREDICTION/ OUR PREDICTION: Bottom of league/ Long, damp afternoons