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Monday, April 18, 2011

THE STARTING 11: Other features at Toronto FC's new training facility

Toronto FC's owners, Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment, don't get much kudos around these parts but today we'll make an exception. This afternoon, the sports empire / panda-tasting aficionados announced the creation of a multi-million dollar training facility to be built for TFC and its academy programs in Toronto's Downsview Park. The (INSERT CORPORATE SPONSOR NAME HERE) Centre will house all levels of the club's training and management facilities over a sprawling 14-square acre site. Multiple pitches, gyms, meeting rooms and offices will give TFC similar facilities to some of the world's best clubs. However, there may be other features that weren't announced at today's press conference...
11. Mikael Yourassowsky's "How to look like a Super-Villain" class
10. "The Collin Samuel 'Eat Like a Champ' Dietary Centre"
9. An 11-man walk-in freezer to get new players acclimatized to early-season BMO Field temperatures
8. Maicon Santos gets to teach Lambada on Tuesday nights
7. Courtesy shuttle bus to Yorkdale Mall driven by Andrea Lombardo
6. A doggy door for Joao Plata
5. "Jimmy Brennan's Coffee Corner"
4. Direct flights to Amsterdam using old Downsview Airport runway
3. "The Adrian Cann Centre for Academy Prospects Who Can't Read Good and Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too"
2. A statue of Mo Johnston dressed as Michael Jackson with the inscription "Beat It: September 14, 2010"
1. "Daniele Dichio - Salon Pour Homme"

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