THE MATCHUP: Not looking Real good

REAL SALT LAKE (5th) VS. TORONTO FC (16th)

　
RIO TINTO STADIUM - SATURDAY 9PM ET
TV: GOLTV
　
THE KICKABOUT:
- Will TFC have enough healthy players to make up a midfield?
- Are the recent positive and optimistic Reds player's sound bites real or simply an effort to appease anxious supporters?
- Even though Julian de Guzman is officially still with the club, is he really "with" the club?
- Remember a few years ago when RSL were worse than Toronto FC?
- If Maicon Santos played for RSL, how many wives would he keep?
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "The Pinto at Rio Tinto"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
REAL SALT LAKE: Kyle Beckerman, Will Johnson, Nick Rimando
TORONTO FC: Richard Eckersley, Stefan Frei, Joao Plata
　
THE ODDS:
- Richard Eckersley calling up ex-teammate Alen Stevanovic - asking him how you get out of "these loan deals" so easily: 15-1
- Julian de Guzman mistaking Real Salt Lake for a Spanish club - demanding a transfer: 25-1
- GolTV trying to help ratings by interrupting 2nd Half of match for highlights of 1980's Utah Jazz to the music of Utah Saints: 50-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
- Real's Head Coach controversially turned down a promotional opportunity with a major Utah organization when he refused to legally change his name to "Jason Kreis of Latter-Day Saints"
- News has been hard to come by in regards to Julian de Guzman's post-Gold Cup "injury" but medical observers are hypothesising it is down to either Post Traumatic Vertical Follicle Disorder or Lamborghini-itis.
- The Salt Lake suburb of Sandy, Utah is home to Rio Tinto Stadium. The town was founded in 1989 by pioneers Karl Malone and John Stockton. Local residents are called Sandinistas and the main exports are tiny basketball shorts, wives and family musical acts.
　
THE WAGER: 2-0 Real Salt Lake (2011: 13-8 with 4 exact scores)
FUTURE HEADLINE: "REDS GET SALT LAKE POURED ON WOUNDS"