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Thursday, January 26, 2012

LETTERS FROM CAMP: Lights, cameras... stability?

"Letsh have de chit-chatsh..."

It's safe to assume any TFC Media Day will be forever considered a success if the star player doesn't openly discuss going on strike. With that lofty criteria only a year old, today's meet and greet with the city's press will be considered downright cosy. Optimism, a seemingly happy squad, plans for the future and heck... even a good old fashioned signing!
After Aron Winter started the day off big with the announced Geovanny Caicedo signing, there weren't too many other earth-shaking developments with the only minor hiccup being the odd air surrounding the # 1 goalkeeper job. While nothing was said by any involved party that would lead one to think a decision was made, there did seem to be a slight air surrounding the topic.
The rest of the day went as well as any PR person would hope with players knocking home cliché answers to puffball questions when host Dan Dunleavy wasn't using hockey as a reference or extolling the virtues of that "rock" in defence Ty Harden (?!). Here are a few other highlights from the day - some real, some maybe less real. And by less real, we mean probably not real. And by probably we mean maybe absolutely likely. But hey... maybe!
ARON WINTER: Pretty much let it slip that Chilean defender Miguel Aceval is about to sign; Can't believe that dumb blogs are still making Winter/winter puns a year later
PAUL MARINER: Said the club had been tracking Geovanny Caicedo since the Canada vs. Ecuador friendly last summer; After landing Richard Eckersley on a free, wants to be referred to as "The Artful Mariner"
EARL COCHRANE: Stuck by his guns that the Nathan Sturgis deal may be one of the club's greatest ever trades adding "I can't remember who made the deal but it must have been some kind of Moneyball-esque genius. Genius I tells ya!"
TOM ANSELMI: No big changes or expansion at BMO Field in 2012; had to run off to prepare Golden Calf sacrifice at MLSE board meeting
BOB de KLERK: Nine promising Academy players have been invited to take part in training camp; spent the off-season working on his music and chilling with his "main dude" Dutch legend Rutger Hauer
TY HARDEN: Played much of last season on a banged up ankle; (anything written here would just be too obvious - do it yourself, jokesters)
ELBEKAY BOUCHIBA: Is actually a real person
KEITH MAKUBUYA: Shocked and dismayed fans by telling the media his name is pronounced "MA-KOO-BEE-YA"; Ruined a 10,000 "BooYah!" T-Shirt order... ass
JULIAN DE GUZMAN: Spent day answering questions about his brother and Team Canada; Went and did donuts in his Lamborghini in the ACC's garage
TERRY DUNFIELD: Is trying to bring the 1920's Austrian gentleman's moustache back to football (note lack of italics... it's for realz! See video non-believers)
JIMMY BRENNAN: Learned to do that cool leaf design thing on the foam of a latte in off-season
ADRIAN CANN: Could be ready to suit-up as early as the MLS season opener; His cosmetic surgery ACL scars are healing nicely
JOAO PLATA: Reconfirmed that all his interviews look like Dennis Waterman from Little Britain
REGGIE LAMBE: Stormed off set claiming that "Pork makes a poor excuse for a chop"
DANNY KOEVERMANS: Spent off-season at home playing a strange nerd game; Had a bit of an old grumpy man moment when asked if he was on Twitter or Facebook; screamed at those damn kids to get of his lawn
STEFAN FREI: Looked the picture of uncomfortable when asked about his TFC future
GEOVANNY CAICEDO: When asked about nickname "The Spoon" told translator that it was because "he gets ladeez digits by the ladle-full"
TORSTEN FRINGS: Missed the entire day trying to get his ballcap to sit perfectly backwards
So there you have it, or sort of sometimes don't have it. Lay off me sticklers for the truth... Juan Epstein died today. If you'd like to follow the factual (booooo-ring) interviews, be sure to watch the creamy goodness of Toronto FC TV (here). I warn you though... not much in the way of italics.

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