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Thursday, March 1, 2012

LETTERS FROM CAMP: "Can we play you, can we play you, can we play you every week?"

Dallatasaray - Pride of Turkxas

It's the final group stage match at The Mickey Mouse Cup for Toronto FC but also their first preseason match against a MLS club. Tonight's tilt sees The Reds face off against the team that gave TFC something to look forward to over winter - FC Dallas. As you remember, The Hoops folded like a cheap shirt in the final Champions League Group Stage match last autumn, paving the way for TFC to head to the quarterfinals against Davy Knickers and The Boyz at SkyDome next week. The least The Reds could do is let Dallas have first place at Disney. With that in mind... Ty harden starts tonight... to the pitch for equally useful highlights!

- Mickey Mouse delivers the game ball to the refs in what appears to be a Sheffield Wednesday kit. Who knew Mickey ups The Owls?
1' - Reds go for the "Triangle" offence by opting for Reggie Lambe over Ryan Johnson just before kick-off
7' - Unfair advantage for FC Dallas - warm weather and a stadium with less than 300 people in attendance... exactly like mid-season at Pizza Hut Park
12' - Bob de Klerk insanely yelling instructions at Ty Harden before a Dallas set piece. The X-Rated pictures Harden must have of TFC management must be damning. No other explanation.
19' - Nothing but love for Milos Kocic but Stefan Frei is undoubtedly the # 1
21' - After 20 minutes Joao Plata offers the first hint of TFC offence. Disjointed.
26' - Reggie Lambe makes his first good run in 3 matches. Still undercooked.
32' - By no means have TFC been pretty but the announcers would have nicer things to say about the Hitler Select XI at the Mussolini Testimonial Match
35' - Out of absolutely nothing Luis Silva goes Route 1 and plows through FC Dallas' defence and pushes the ball past The Hoops' keeper. TORONTO FC 1 - FC DALLAS 0
37' - Lambe gets chopped (thank you) by FCD keeper and deserves a PK but minor league ref gives him a yellow for diving instead. Sport Goofy officiating.
39' - Did "Master of The Draft" Mo Johnston pick Luis Silva? The rookie makes it two by pouncing on a loose ball and firing it into goal. TORONTO FC 2 - FC DALLAS 0
45' - Reds dominant after waking up in the last 15 minutes but need to bring that at 0:01 against Los Angeles


48' - Miguel Aceval establishing himself as the anchor of TFC's central defence
52' - announcers trying to make nicknames for Luis Silva... umm do they not read us and Waking The Red? Helloooooo? "Silva Bullet"?
60' - Ashtone Morgan leaves the match for trialist Kevin Huezo. Morgan has been very solid in all three preseason matches
65' - TFC Academy director Thomas Rongen's finds of Kevin Huezo and Moises Orozco making decent arguments for full contracts
70' - Everybody out of the pool. Only Terry Dunfield remains from starting eleven.
78' - The kids are alright as TFC's youth grinding down FCD's youth
81' - After 5 years, Toronto FC may have finally found the key to making playoff rounds - always finish off by playing Dallas
83' - Ryan Johnson giving hope that TFC has two capable strikers with a calmly placed finish to put The Reds up by three. TORONTO FC 3 - FC DALLAS 0
88' - MLS announcers struggling to find something nice to say about TFC despite a 3-0 lead
90'- Promising signs after the first half hour as TFC now gets ready to play The Mickey Mouse Final on Saturday night against those pot smoking hippies - Vancouver Whitecaps


1 comment:

  1. Davy Knickers? *snicker*

    Seriously though - what the hell is up with Simon Borg & his co-lackey/sycophant? I expect some bias but such overwhelming one-sidedness! Grr...and where oh where is "The Spoon"? Banished to the cutlery drawer after one half?