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Tuesday, January 29, 2013

LETTERS FROM CAMP: Ryin Nilsin Tistimowkneeal Metch

"Cheerio Poms but me hammy is knackered"

Harry Redknapp may claim he still isn't sure but our new New Zealish overlord Ryan Nelsen is hours away from calling it a day on his long and successful playing career. The new TFC gaffer will wear the hoops of QPR one last time today as the struggling West Londoners host the defending Premier League champions Manchester City - and it seems not a moment too soon. Not only is there a hefty amount of pressure on the affable Kiwi to take over the TFC reins quickly but according to the man himself, his legs sound about ready to fall apart. Nelsen told the redundantly named this week that apart from his "glass knees", the big defender has a hamstring that is currently being "screwed on with screws and mesh at the moment". In New Zealisher or any language - that crap's just gross.
Our mateys over at Waking The Red have been using their leftover Dutch phrasebooks and dug up an interesting tidbit regarding TFC's youth teams. Apparently The Reds' U-16 squad will be invited over to Amsterdam to take part in the very prestigious AEGON Future Cup, hosted by those kings of voetbal development - Ajax. The tournament which welcomes the utes of major clubs such as Manchester United, AC Milan and Barcelona to name a few, would be a great challenge for Toronto's burgeoning Academy system. Of course being The Future Cup, this will all take place in some possibly dystopian reality so who knows what will happen. Blade Runners, Biff Tannen... that midget robot from Buck Rogers - it could get weird. Also, a bunch of teenagers in Amsterdam for a week.
While it's not necessarily an ominous sign, the sounds you aren't hearing in town are about TFC's Training Camp. Practicing under the mystical Bubbles of Downsview, the club has just been quietly going about their business before relocating to Orlando, Florida later this week. Lack of eventful drama is nice but some supporters are finding the hush around possible additions to the squad increasingly disconcerting. As of now, The Reds' midfield and forward depth charts are wafer thin and the only nugget of new faces is an agency Facebook entry noting that Brazilian "wonder" twins Pedro and Paulo Mendes (most recently of the mighty superclub Atlanta Silverbacks) have been invited as trialists. Yahoo? In the past, fans have been teased with numerous possible additions by this time of the year - but of course those years all turned out to be disasters. Perhaps patience is a virtue? Okay, but our fingernails aren't too happy about it.


  1. the midget robot from buck rogers! awesome, hadn't thought about twiki in so long.

  2. I'm sad that we get asked to prove we're not a robot before we get to comment. twiki was all ready to spill all the training camp secrets - "bidi-bidi-bidi-we're selling hassli and bringing in lampard-bidi-bidi-bidi" but now he can't.

    1. Blogger is notriously robocialist in their security policies. Even if he could read those tiny numbers and jumbled letters, those big tin hands could not type properly.

      This thing is so un-25th Century.

      "bidi-bidi-bidi-brazilian twin trialists"