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Thursday, May 30, 2013

THE MATCHUP: Union. Due.

Layers.

TORONTO VS. PHILADELPHIA
 
BMO FIELD - SATURDAY 6PM ET
TV: TSN2
 
THE KICKABOUT:
Almost exactly two years ago, Philadelphia Union dropped by BMO Field to lay down a 6-2 beating on TFC that is still one of the most humiliating of The Reds' (many) home defeats. It was a tough afternoon for those in attendance with many leaving with the feeling that "things can't get much worse". Sooooooo... yeah.
 
With 1 win in 26 and more turnover than Pillsbury, you would be hard-pressed to find too many supporters who think things have improved in the last 730 days. TFC go into this latest match with their usual battery of walking wounded including Richard Eckersley who will miss at least another four weeks and the now unlikely return of "De Great White Hopesh" Danny Koevermans. Of course, the fact that the club is quietly portraying a 34-year-old, portly, injury-riddled striker as the Messiah to cure all ills may prove that things don't really change all that much round these parts.
 
MANUFATURED DERBY NAME:
"The Danny Califf Testimonial Match"
 
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
TORONTO: Jeremy Brockie, Robert Earnshaw, Matias Laba
PHILADELPHIA: Sebastien Le Toux, Zac MacMath, Jack McInerney
 
THE ODDS:
Danny Califf's mysterious "virus" causing these symptoms:
- "Kiwi-Aversion": 5-1
- "Poor Depth Chart Perception": 3-1
- "Union Cravings": 2-1
 
WHO ARE YA?
Here at The Yorkies, we are nothing if not a high-end animation studio. As one of the Top 10 MLS-inspired cartoon producers in our row at BMO Field, we are proud to bring you the latest hit, based on the true story* (*not a true story) of the life of Union forward Jack McInerney...


POST-MATCH HEADLINE: "TFC STRIKERS IRONICALLY FAIL TO BUST UNION"

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