THE MATCHUP: And all that Jazz

TORONTO VS. REAL SALT LAKE

　
BMO Field - SATURDAY 1PM ET
TV: TSN 2 ("Droppin' The D-D-D-Deuce!")
　
THE KICKABOUT:
Ok, enough about the other stuff. Let's talk about a real match. Actually let's talk about a Real match. It’s back to business for TFC as "The Creatures from Sodium Lagoon" aka Real Salt Lake aka Utah Saints drop by BMO Field to work some MormonMagic TM.
　
Despite being perennial contenders for the last five years or so, RSL haven't pounded on The Reds at BMO Field like so many of their colleagues have so this could be an interesting fixture. TFC are riding high (stop laughing) on a three-match unbeaten streak and will need to add a little skill to their "hard to beat" philosophy if they want to grab 3 points from the still very good Utahns. Utahites? Utes? KarlMalones.
　
Now bow your heads for a moment of silence as we mourn the loss of Logan Emory's hair. #NeverForget #PrayForScreech
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME:
"The Real Friendly"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
TORONTO FC: Steven Caldwell, Danny Koevermans, Matias Laba
REAL SALT LAKE: Kyle Beckerman, Joao Plata, Nick Rimando
　
TFZ EXCLUSIVE: Video from a training ground incident featuring RSL hard-man Kyle Beckerman...



THE ODDS (Utah Saints Edition):
- TFC asking what they can do for me: 25-1
- Something Good is going to happen: 50-1
- A New Gold Dream... Reds don't allow a goal against in the 81, 82, 83 or 84th: 100-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
As we all know, it is Canada Day long-weekend on this side of the 49th but you may not be aware that July 1st is also "Holy Utah Day". The state holiday celebrates Utah's 1954 victory in the Great Utah-Idaho War and the state's subsequent independence from their northern potato overlords.
　
A traditional Holy Utah Day starts with 4 to 7 of a family's wives cutting the symbol of their former oppression - the potato - into thin slices which are then tossed into the Great Salt Lake where they marinate in the hot, arid sun all day long.
　
Meanwhile, children dressed as The Osmonds go door-to-door collecting purple, gold and green yarn which is then woven into a 200 foot wide pair of John Stockton shorty shorts and burned on a giant bonfire in the Olympic Park while locals munch on the saltwater potato slices. It is truly a day of MormonMagic TM
　
POST-MATCH HEADLINE: "WE'RE OVER IT"
　
And... Since it's Friday and we really want to ask TFC "what they can do for us" we bring you Utah's most famous band...