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Saturday, July 13, 2013

SOUTH COUCH REPORT : Kansas City v Toronto... or 'Transfer Request' edition

Seriously, what the hell.  Now O'Dea wants out?  This club would make an amazing case study in sports mismanagement and dysfunction.  I mean if we could get the unedited version of the story.  Or the book.  C'mon, wouldn't the tell-all book be fantastic?  "The Successful Failure Machine" is my working title.  Last third of the book can be transfers alone.

This weekend has been a veritable PR clusterfuck. I'm sure their doctors of spin have just as easily packed it in until Monday and decided to let loose.  Probably have a drinking game to wash away the pain.

Onto the match.

6' - I'm starting a rumour that Weideman has just requested to be transferred to a better side.  Only interest has been generated from German 6th division side TeBe Berlin to meet the criteria.

15' - commentator mentions about O'Dea being sent home requesting a transfer.  Take a drink.

22' - Brockie gets two chances against the Lego Man Nielsen' stops both.  Unlucky.

23' - GOAL - feed took a poop, Sporting scored. Damn.

28' - commentator postulates whether Nelsen is the right man for the job.  Take a drink.

32' - Laba coughs up the ball, KC counter, Bendik makes a great stop then yells at Eckersley for being out of position.

44' - YELLOW - Brockie gets booked for a tackle from behind

45' - SUB - Hall is coming on for Richter to start the second half

49' - Bendik makes another critical save one-on-one.  Take a drink.

51' - GOAL - Saad picks up the rebound from the save by Bendik and poor Joe can't save them all.  Its his second apparently.

56' - RED - Oh Reggie.  Lambe has a late tackle from behind go at Saad and there isn't much contact but it was a reckless attempt.

60' - SUB - Earnshaw makes way for Braun who will likely be loaned to Chivas on Wednesday for just the second half.

64' - GOAL - tic-tac-toe and Bieler finishes the dismantling of the Toronto back four.

68' - commentator mentions about O'Dea being sent home requesting a transfer.  Take a drink.

76' - Caldwell and Bendik have a rather animated discussion trying to clear up who's ball it was to clear after Caldwell hammered it out for a corner.

77' - Collin heads in a ball after some pinball from the cover but the refs erroneously called it offside.

78' - SUB - Thomas comes on for Laba

81' - Vanilla Peterson comes on for Kansas City.  TFC faithful will remember him for having a spot on the roster, maybe playing a few times unremarkably

86' - commentator mentions about O'Dea being sent home requesting a transfer.  Take a drink.

Full Time: Kansas City 3, Toronto 0

Man of the Match: Bendik

Goat of the Game: so much general lack of quality, it would be easier to simply say 'not Bendik'

Ref Rating: 4 out of 5.  Screwed up minor calls on each side.  Well done.

I Am Not The Gaffer But...: if I was, I'd ask everyone to avoid bothering me with transfer requests until I'm finished having a good cry.  Perhaps wonder if QPR need an aging full back?  Wonder if there is a deity worth praying to?  See if there are tickets to the Tony Robbins motivational speaking engagement still available?

I just don't feel like putting anything here.  Just when the stability was here, a chunk of defenders up and leave (and 'stability' is used rather loosely).

Player Ratings: Bendik 6.5, Richter 5.5 [Hall 5.5], Agabossoumonde 5.5, Caldwell 6, Eckersley 5.5, Lambe 4, Laba 5.5 [Thomas N/A], Russell 5, Convey 5.5, Earnshaw 6 [Braun N/A], Brockie 6

Like some of you, @ignirtoq watched the game in its entirety and still can't imagine how he sat through it all.  He would like to recommend Pacific Rim as a solid action movie with pretty scenes, giant mechs fighting giant monsters and a 'meh' plot.


  1. Erm, O'Dea never wanted out, this fully was the club's decision.
    Seriously, I love you guys, but this is lazy reporting

    1. To be honest, I didn't do much research. The news came in like a blur while I was out and about then I returned in time to write the match report.

      When the transfer is firm, a proper post dedicated to it should go up.

      And who comes here for "news"?

    2. To answer your question, trolls who keep leaving stupid comments about how stupid and unprofessional this site is.

      But tbh that post makes me sound like one of them, so I apologize for that. It's just that it was a pretty big detail to make a mistake on.

      But other than that, keep doing what you're doing. This site is usually the lone bright spot of supporting TFC

    3. No worries, we have thick skin here. At least you avoided calling us "not real supporters"

      In all fairness to our main man @ignirtoq though - things are never black-and-white at TFC are they? Especially when a story is developing.

      It's all turned into a bit of "A great opportunity for him" vs. "not my choice". Next we'll hear that they just found out that De Ro isn't at Celtic!

      Either way - thanks for the kind words. We pride ourselves on being a high end serious news source/The Global Leader in Collin Samuel-based humour.

      The MGMT

  2. Richter was terrible in the first half. Unfortunately, his replacement was as bad (or worse) in the second.

    Getting rid of O'Dea's contract is a good move in the long term. I wouldn't be surprised next to see Eckersley moved somewhere before the trade deadline.

    This season was always going to be a write off. But the casual fans and a few of the wannabes who think they're hardcore see it the same and are disguising themselves as empty seats more and more with each home game.

    2014 or bust!

    1. I'd rather see Frei move next, only because he's not starting and that's alotta dosh sitting on the bench.

      Ecks is a bit overpriced in this league, but he still delivers some value (last night notwithstanding).

      Whoever isn't patient with this side should not be trusted to form an opinion. Can't build anything when there isn't a semblance of a foundation. I wish Winter would've been given the amount of time I suspect Nelsen will be given, but what's done is done. At least Nelsen appears to be playing his best squad whenever he can.

    2. Ironically, in the offseason where this club had the least player turnover, it started off the MLS regular season with a record 0-0-9, including 0-0-5 at home. Forget about the Vs Cup or CCL: after a relatively successful conclusion to the 2011 season, the MLS playoffs were the goal for TFC in 2012 and that start crippled those chances by May. Even with an out of form Koevermans, an injured Frings, and a sophmore slump laden Plata, the rest of the supporting cast led by role player-as-DP De Guzman couldn't pick up the slack. Other MLS teams with a relatively stable core of players do capitulate in fashion that TFC started the season: they find ways to grind out results. This team couldn't. Winter also lost key leaders in the room during the process. He had to go.

      The problem lay in going with a replacement who went in different tactical direction which led to a gong show streak to end the year.

    3. That's a quality point regarding Winter. Under the circumstances, it was easier to remove him than the squad. I still wanted to see Winter in charge for 2 or 3 seasons before given the axe, and that's what I want for Nelsen and whomever follows him. Until this team acquires and KEEPS the right players and staff to build a foundation on, it'll be deja vu.

      Also, is optimism in 2015 grossly optimistic or completely batshit insane?

    4. I think the club needs to weather it out like SKC did a few years ago before the clouds and rain made way for sunshine and rainbows. Okay, they haven't won an MLS crown yet, but at least they are an elite team in this league, no doubt. So continuity at the top is needed.

      When Koevermans and Frings were signed two years ago, Winter made a point of stating that he now had a forward leader and a midfield leader: all he needed was a defensive leader. Too bad the club couldn't simply eat the remainder of JDG's contract in the 2012 off season and have the DP spot and salary cap space needed to sign that leader for the back line, instead of the ill fated Aceval (regularly teamed with Harden!). Perhaps things would have been different for Winter and the club.

      At least Payne has shown that he can unload over the top contracts, which was needed during that 2012 offseason with regards to JDG's final year of his deal.