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Wednesday, July 3, 2013

THE SOUTH STAND REPORT - Toronto FC vs Montreal... or who doesn't like memes?

You guys, seriously... I just spent the best $1 ever on an app.  It's a meme generator (link for those that don't know) and now I can create appropriate Toronto-related memes in class internet form.  It's the bestest.  And why the hell not?  It's not like there's been much good to say.  Our formerly hot young defender is a red-card magnet head-case, we're thin on the back line and we're playing Montreal.  Sure for some, this is a 'derby'.  For me, they're a grey mouse (more on that later).

Toronto is coming off of a positive-but-utimately-disappointing performance against RSL, and RSL ain't anything special.  They're no Montreal.  First place Montreal.  Year TWO Montreal.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish we were owned by a cheese magnate... *sigh*

1' - GOAL - Romero gets sent in catching a sleepy O'Dea, Bendik comes out to thwart the attempt, but doesn't get enough on the shot as the rebound ends back at Romero's feet and he puts it in a near-vacant net.

6' - GOAL - Brockie gets loose, wide left side of the box and launched a bullet high right. 

20' - GOAL - OK, what?  Caldwell gets his newly signed skull onto a cross and buries it.

24' - GOAL - What.  The.  Hell.  Is.  Going.  On.  Here.  Silva lays it off to O'Dea, takes three big steps into the box and hammers it low and into the corner.  Amends made.  This is happening!

37' - YELLOW - Russell for a rough tackle.  Sure, why not.

44' - YELLOW - Convey for, um, something.

Half-Time Mood : Damn.

46' - YELLOW - Agbossoumonde for, what can only be described as, accumulated bullshit.

49' - Blown call?  Blown call.  Sometimes it's so obvious...

55' - At this point we realize that someone is terribly gun-shy...

67' - Brockie gets set up with a ball 12 yards out by Lambe, but Chad Barrett's it way over the bar.

Quote of the Match :
He's the Earnshaw of Bermuda.
~ @theyorkies1812 on Lambe attempting
to poach bad defender passing
Then this shit happened...

69' - GOAL - Kamara turns and fires from nearly the penalty spot.

70 - GOAL - Ugh.  Di Vaio.  I predicted it, to be fair...

74' - SUB - Braun comes on for Silva.

77' - SUB - Hall comes on for Russel, which is well received from our stoop.

84' - SUB - Lambe makes way for Koevermans, a.k.a. Dutchsh Jeshush

89' - Brockie nearly becomes a legend with a shot just side of the right post.  So damn close.

4 minutes of extra time.


Man of the Match : We're gonna go with Brockie though there was some serious love for Laba and O'Dea could've had the nod if he hadn't fell asleep in the first 39 seconds of the game.

Goat of the Game : Agbossoumonde if only for the fear that he was one more tackle away from pulling a Henry.  He wasn't bad, but he was getting chippy.

Ref Rating : 2 out of 5. Giving Toledo a 1 is too easy.  There were a few times he let play go when it could've been stopped for a foul but didn't.  But he blows so many simple calls.  We did joke that it would be a challenge for him to screw over both Canadian sides tonight and if there was a way that neither team would earn points, he'd find a way.

I Am Not The Gaffer But... : While I appreciate going for the win in the last few minutes, I should be forgiven for wondering why the hell Koevermans came on when a fresh defender could've appeased uneasy regular patrons.  Also, I know this may not be a gaffer problem, but there wasn't a single defender that could be dressed as there were really none (naturally, anyways) on the bench?

Kit Spotting : We saw an AEK kit, which was different.  We almost gave the nod to the guy with the TFC kit with our very own Haitian sensation Fellinga on the back until we spotted a Sydney FC home on the way out of the ground.  Winner.

When you have to explain to people why they announce a sell-out when clearly one in every five seats are unoccupied, you aren't impressing anyone... seriously Silva, SHOOT THE DAMN BALL... To be fair, I predicted 4-1 Montreal.  If you don't think I have faith, then I don't think you ever watch the matches... Speaking of predictions, we believe Brockie is going to play out much like Plata : heralded loan a success, back to parent club, returns next season from a full transfer, bust, picked up by L.A. and bags a brace in his first full appearance... man, who doesn't love the 30 minute GO Trains, amirite?... Toronto truly deserved the 3 points tonight.  They played cohesive, creative, agressive football for about 65 minutes, which is about equal to the amount of football of the same description that they've played in TOTAL all season before tonight.  Struggled to regain composure after the quick two Montreal goals, but it wasn't all panic in the last ten minutes... I still wish Di Vaio played for Toronto, even though I really wanted to see Bendik pummel after end-of-half whining.

I was fortunate enough to travel to Germany for the 2006 World Cup and while in Munich, I stopped at the club shop of the greatest club in all of the nation, TSV 1860 Munich!  While there, I asked the attendant how easy or difficult was it to obtain kits from other clubs, specifically Hannover 96.  He told me that with the exception of the big clubs, like Bayern, Dortmund, Hamburg and maybe Schalke 04, you'll have to go to that particular town to find it.  Every city and town has a club and they are referred to as a "grey mouse" (translated from German), which is, common and unremarkable.

For me to hate/dislike Montreal is irrational because neither club has done anything significant to the other in their quest(s) for glory.  "Big" clubs to me are the glamour teams or historically successful ones, like DC United, L.A. Galaxy and Harrison Extreme Beverage.  I have a stronger distaste for Dallas and Kansas City than I do Montreal or Vancouver because nothing has happened with the northern clubs.  For now, Montreal is a grey mouse.  One day that may change.

Player Ratings : Bendik 7, O'Dea 6.5, Agbossoumonde 6, Caldwell 7, Richter 6, Convey 6, Russell 6 [Hall N/A], Laba 6.5, Lambe 6.5 [Koevermans N/A], Silva 6 [Braun N/A], Brockie 7

@ignirtoq feels that he's already got value for the money from the generator. With a little bit of luck/laziness, this won't be the last time he uses it.  We assure you, he will not be able to expense this app.