MLS LOGO WEEK - Getting to know your Eastern Conference

Hot on the heels of yesterday's truly* (*not true whatsoever) revolutionary, ground-breaking introduction to MLS #LogoWeek here at The Yorkies, we conclude the parade here today.

After hauling our pioneer wagon of logos and high-end football analysis through the West we turn eastward ho! No you're not a ho - it's a declaration of direction. God, you lot are so PC! This time it's the Eastern Conference's turn - home to thriving, bustling cities, the beauty of the Atlantic seaboard, the mighty Great Lakes... and Montreal is there too. Enjoy it you whores. As in "Go East Whore!" (It's a geography term, trust us.)

CHICAGO FIRE
AKA: The Yallopian Tubes
SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT THEM: "Without them there is no Copa Del Grandos Lagos. Plus we can both agree Lake Erie sucks."

COLUMBUS CREW
AKA: The Crewp
SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT THEM: "Thanks for giving MLS' dirtiest mascot, Crew Cat, a nice warm home"

D.C. UNITED
AKA: Washington Wanderers

SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT THEM: "You used to be awesome?"

HOUSTON DYNAMO
AKA: Dynamo Hockba
SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT THEM: "Your local nightclubs are LOLZ"

MONTREAL IMPACT
AKA: The Cheesemakers
SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT THEM: "We've got nothing."

 

NEW ENGLAND REVOLUTION
AKA: Meh-volution
SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT THEM: "They have shown us exactly what BMO Field will look like once a gridiron team runs the stadium"

 

NEW YORK RED BULLS
AKA: Monster Energy New Jersey
SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT THEM: "Allowing a team in the nearby, unknown city of New York to compete against the mighty metropolis of Harrison, New Jersey is very sportsmanlike"

 

PHILADELPHIA UNION
AKA: Carlton Athletic
SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT THEM: "With Fresh Princes, Cosbys, Rocky Balboas, Phanatics, Cheesesteaks and Chester Cheetoh, no team brings the puns like Union"

SPORTING KANSAS CITY

AKA: Benfica Topeka
SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT THEM: "Way to show all those other roller hockey branded MLS clubs that it can be done"

 

TORONTO FC
AKA: The Big Bloody Eels feat. Drake
SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT THEM: "Can we get back to you in October on this one?"