THE MATCHUP: World C.H.U.D.

NEW YORK VS. TORONTO
RED BULL ARENA - FRIDAY 8PM ET
TV: SPORTSNET ONE

WHY SHOULD I WATCH THIS?
- Major League Soccer is BACK! Just as the World Cup heats up. Be one of dozens to return!
- Did the break give Ryan Nelsen the bravery to try out a Moore-Defoe-Gilberto-led 4-3-3?
- Will Tim Cahill return from his wonder goal World Cup in time to strike fear into corner flags?
- Will the C.H.U.D.s of Harrison, New Jersey capture TFC away supporters caught roaming after dark?
- It's one of the few remaining chances to use the TFC excuse "it will be way better when Michael Bradley gets back!"
- Did Gilberto learn any goal scoring tricks from that KIA?
- Swearing at Thierry Henry is cathartic.

MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME:
"The Underground World Cup"

THE DUEL:
Thierry Henry vs. Jermain Defoe

WHO ARE YA?
The C.H.U.D. - or Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller - is a mutated sub-species native to the sewer systems of the New York/New Jersey region and feared for its nocturnal tendencies to capture unsuspecting pedestrians. While they were eradicated from New York City in the mid-80's, a population of them survived under the apocalyptic Harrison, NJ area on a steady diet of rats and jet fumes from Newark Airport.

However, the construction of Red Bull Arena changed everything. With their natural habitat disturbed, C.H.U.D.s adapted to the new stadium above them and grew stronger by digesting the seeping Red Bull Energy Beverage which courses through the arena pipes. Their natural prey is now any away MLS supporter crazy enough to be caught wandering Harrison after a night match. A trail of scarves is often all that remains.

ON THIS DAY IN TFC HISTORY:
JUNE 27, 2006: NY/NJ MetroStars front-office rising star Mo Johnston hears about a new MLS expansion franchise in Toronto, Canada. Madness ensues.
 

C.R.U.D.

VOCAL MINORITY PODCAST: #BigKnots

Do you find yourself saying "I wish I could put the World Cup AND Toronto FC in a blender, make a smoothie, then pour it right into my ear openings"? There’s a podcast for that!

In this week's episode (AVAILABLE THURSDAY), Mark trades in his Slovak citizenship for a Uruguayan one, Kristin embraces her Albino lineage (Albanian-Latino) while Duncan and Tony use their British citizenships to claim full control over their post-England national team of choice - the British Virgin Islands aka "The Nature Boys". All this plus, Bitchy Blanks, a New York v TFC preview and other "biting" commentary. Get it? Suarez? Topical!

Just click on the "Vocal Minority Podcast" icon on the right side of this site and set your ears to "yo crazy!!!" FAGUNDEZ!

While you're clicking you really must read our partners in pod Waking The Red. They write actual real, quality TFC stuff with stats and "facts". Nerds. They are linked in our Links section on the right. Lurking.