THE STARTING 11: Ways TFC can make the Spurs friendly more entertaining

Definitely not this fun



We have banged on for years here about our dislike for mid-season friendlies. We still think they are money-grabbing, energy-wasting injury magnets but we have always understood your attendance if your childhood club was the opponent. (So mail your letters calling me a hypocrite to "P.O. Box: I Don't Give A Toss"). As many of you know I'm a born Spurs supporter but I totally get that this match will end up bordering on naptime for those not Lilywhite and/or a fan of TFC's B-Squad. Not to fear though, TFC has plenty of entertainment lined up to keep you nice and friendly...

11. The Aaron Lennon Eyebrow Shaving Booth

10. An emotional halftime presentation where corporate sister club Tottenham Hotspur agree to help move the Toronto Argonauts... to the Emirates Stadium

9. Roberto Soldado vs. Gilberto "First-to-Five-Goal Challenge"! (Time Limit: 7 hours)

8. Tim Leiweke and Daniel Levy chase a hundred dollar bill on a string around the pitch

7. Kids get to hunt for prizes in Benoit Assou-Ekotto's hair

6. Sandro vs. Jackson face-off for the title of "World's Angriest Brazilian"

5. The pre-match parade of the two clubs' combined 58 managers from the last 20 years

4. The two teams to sit in a sharing circle and talk smack about Thierry Henry

3. Chas 'n' Drake

2. Bitchy vs. a Fighting Cockerel

1. Winner keeps Defoe