THE SOUTH STAND REPORT - Toronto v Tottenham... or Robins v Your London EPL Club

Ah, it's a good thing we made that trade today. Sure we weren't gonna get De Marcus Beasley but we did get Warren Creavalle and I hear he should make it in time for this all important friendly.  I read that his flight was delayed, so maybe he can make it in the second half.  *fingers crossed*

This was your typical exhibition fare : kids and bench get a run out and super try for everything, visitors just screw with us effortlessly and not run up the score too much.  Eric Lamella bagged two identical goals, which I've been told, is a special sight as he's (a) Spurs record signing and (b) was injured for most of the year.  Tourists up 2-0 at the half.

Second half, I'm not exactly sure what happened.  Either Spurs new substitutes took them lightly or Toronto's new subs started playing with creativity (probably the prior), as Lovitz sent Weideman through and bagged a nice goal with sublime composure. Later in the half, Jordan Hamilton bagged one of his own with a brilliant strike from the edge of the box. One of those two will likely move on to a career in real estate some day.  Creavalle no showed.  [He was never expected to make it. ~ Ed.]

Spurs were having none of that, shifted into (what had to be their) 2nd gear, maybe 3rd, and with 5 minutes remaining, Andros Townsend undoes poor Hagglund, and rockets it past Quillan Roberts.  Top marks and it looks like he does it all the time.

FULL TIME : TORONTO 2, TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR 3

Money grab or not (it is), the one thing I like to take away from these international friendlies (aside from the obligatory half and half scarves) is to get a glimpse to the gulf of quality between TFC and whomever our opponent is.  Spurs were out there for a kick-about and made Toronto look pedestrian, and I'm very OK with that.

We, as footie supporters, are subjected to satellite TV (or dodgy internet feeds) and get to watch world class club football.  We know it's better, but we rarely have a measure of by how much exactly.  I don't know if we need to do this annually, and by the success of the gate, there should be one next year, but every couple of years is good.  It's nice to be reminded that, even though we signed all of these players that have drastically improved the calibre of football in Toronto, it's still nowhere near we'd like it to be. And to be fair, there isn't enough talent to go around 18+ clubs in the US to ever close up that gulf.

Understanding how the tourists are, and a large portion of the season's ticket base is, I understand that the following suggestion would be deemed "unfavourable" : I would like to propose that every year we have an exhibition against lower league teams.  Could be De Grafshaap, Shimizu S-Pulse, Lucern, Perth Glory... it doesn't matter.  The game should be a meaningful measure as to where the club and the league actually sits in relation to the rest of the planet, as meaningful as an exhibition can be.  I'd be far more interested to see how this side plays against the champions of Finland, a side we could defeat (in theory) rather than Spurs, a team who should slap us around like we deserve it.

If the club and the league were as talented as they are financially successful and well supported, MLS would truly be a destination league and Seattle would be a top 20 world club.  But it's not, we're not.  Not yet.

Then, at least, it wouldn't feel so gratuitously commercial.

Kit Spotting People Who Got A Soccer Shirt As a Gift Once and Are Wearing It Today : Arsenal away,  Liverpool home,  Newcastle home, father and son home Reading, more than one Blackburn home,  Manchester United home, West Ham home and away, Villa home, Everton home, old Man City away.  It was odd, but I get it.

Real Kit Spotting - Guy down in front wearing Sporting KC (confirmed he was here for the weekend game, came early to watch the exhibition).  Big ups to him for travelling. This kid who showed up in a Junior kit is close.

THE STARTING 11: Ways TFC can make the Spurs friendly more entertaining

Definitely not this fun



We have banged on for years here about our dislike for mid-season friendlies. We still think they are money-grabbing, energy-wasting injury magnets but we have always understood your attendance if your childhood club was the opponent. (So mail your letters calling me a hypocrite to "P.O. Box: I Don't Give A Toss"). As many of you know I'm a born Spurs supporter but I totally get that this match will end up bordering on naptime for those not Lilywhite and/or a fan of TFC's B-Squad. Not to fear though, TFC has plenty of entertainment lined up to keep you nice and friendly...

11. The Aaron Lennon Eyebrow Shaving Booth

10. An emotional halftime presentation where corporate sister club Tottenham Hotspur agree to help move the Toronto Argonauts... to the Emirates Stadium

9. Roberto Soldado vs. Gilberto "First-to-Five-Goal Challenge"! (Time Limit: 7 hours)

8. Tim Leiweke and Daniel Levy chase a hundred dollar bill on a string around the pitch

7. Kids get to hunt for prizes in Benoit Assou-Ekotto's hair

6. Sandro vs. Jackson face-off for the title of "World's Angriest Brazilian"

5. The pre-match parade of the two clubs' combined 58 managers from the last 20 years

4. The two teams to sit in a sharing circle and talk smack about Thierry Henry

3. Chas 'n' Drake

2. Bitchy vs. a Fighting Cockerel

1. Winner keeps Defoe

It's some kind of deal! TFC unveil Jermain Defoe AND Michael Bradley

"You new here too?"



Remember that mumbling, rather serene press conference in the BMO Field press room the last time TFC introduced two DP's? That day it was Torsten Frings and Danny Koevermans taking on the roles of TFC Messiahs 1 & 2 but compared to the show at RealSports Bar in Downtown Toronto today... that was a bloody small deal.

From his arrival at Pearson yesterday, the full page ads in Toronto dailies this morning and to the trail of potential WAGS strewn through the 416 - the whole football world knew that today was "De-Day" - Jermain Defoe's Debutante Ball. However in what must have been a Tim Leiweke erotic promotions fantasy - that wasn't big enough. No... like the finest wrestling card, American midfielder/trainee Super Villain Michael Bradley appeared from backstage and joined the fracas! Mic drop.

Live from the back of a double-decker bus, here are some of our favourite observations:

- A return to supporter good times chanting "This Is Our House" from the RealSports upper deck. Doubt that beers cost $15 bucks in their actual houses.
- Tim Leiweke speaking in front of rowdy crowd and largest media presence in TFC history aka "one off his bucket list"
- Leiweke saying all the right things such as "nothing is won today" and "why can't we be great". Managed not to say "btw - you may want to re-mortgage house before 2015 season tickets go up"
- Jermain Defoe comes out to a raucous cheer. Scans crowd for glamour models in the house. Makes mental notes. Sits down.
- Defoe: "I'm a winner"; "To win trophies - that's what it's all about"; "I'm the new Jeff Cunningham LOLZ!" (He may not have said that)
- Back to Leiweke who missed a good opportunity to introduce the "surprise" guest in wrestling ambush style...
- Michael Bradley emerges dressed in all black to do nothing but concrete his image as a James Bond Super Villain.
- Bradley a man of few words - the ones he does say sound amazingly like Breaking Bad's Jesse Pinkman. It will be our goal to get him to say "Yo TFC bitch" this season.
- Ryan Nelsen says a few words - just realized he finally has a reason to say "Juh-main" a la Flight of the Conchords. Prisint.
- Floor opened to the media... and the first question in this international presser goes to... a kid from Seneca College?! Umm... was a dying boy's wish granted or something?
- There are Drake questions up the wazoo. No mention of Maestro Fresh Wes or Joey Jeremiah of original Degrassi. Shameful.
- BREAKING: Former TFC GM Mo Johnston is holding a live event in his kitchen where he will introduce BOTH bologna and cheese to a sandwich.
- T-Bez danced his best around a question on the status of Matias Laba. We say not looking good.
- Then a bunch more crap about Drake...

And with that, TFC's underwater Bloody Big Eel event ended. Or something like that. There are some grumps and naysayer's out there today (stop stealing our gig newbies) but for all the sizzle, it really is a fun day to be a TFC supporter. That's for you, rain-soaked fan who never said "I don't feel like going to watch them lose..." You're about to have more company in the stands, but that house will always be yours.

And... Since it's Monday and we are legally bound to bring you this... here is your Starting 11!!!
 

White Hart Lane: The BMO Field of North London

 

THE STARTING 11: Other features of the Toronto FC - Tottenham Hotspur Agreement

Part of the Jermain Defoe (hey, did you hear Drake called him?) official confirmation was the added caveat that TFC and Spurs had entered into a "marketing agreement" with each other. The deal includes a mid-summer friendly, Spurs merchandise sold at MLSE properties and other stuff like TFC having to RT and LOL all Spurs tweets. But, as with all deals there is always the small print where more details are found...

 

11. BMO Field to change name to "Great White (North) Hart Lane"

10. Toronto Raptors must throw every game against San Antonio

9. TFC get first refusal on any Sergei Rebrov transfer

 

8. A long-term community employment commitment from both clubs by hiring-and-firing managers on a bi-annual basis. (DONE)

7. David Ginola to open men's hair salon at Downsview training facility

6. The two clubs to share custody of the label "Champions League hopefuls"

 

5. Toronto FC-based Arsenal supporters forced to feel dirty about themselves

4. Jurgen Klinsmann available for both clubs during emergency crisis management situations (DONE)

3. Drake on loan to London until March

2. Bitchy the Hawk replaced with angry fighting cockerel

1. Our top prospects to be sold to Spurs just as they become integral squad member who will sell that player to Real Madrid just as he becomes an integral squad member

 

Reds and Spurs go jingle-jangle



Well that kind of takes the climax out of the spit take. But it's still a bloody big deal... just a bit more bloody money involved.

Both Toronto FC and Tottenham Hotspur have officially confirmed that Jermain Defoe is indeed on his way to the Great White (Hart) North. However, that wasn't quite enough for two clubs that love a bit of the old marketing now was it?

On top of announcing that the 31-year old striker will join TFC on February 28th, 2014, the two clubs have also entered into an "Advertising and Marketing Rights" agreement. This deal will see Spurs merchandise flogged at MLSE properties and likely the odd bit of website cross-promo. In addition, Spurs have also added Toronto to their North American tour this summer, playing TFC in a friendly on July 23rd.

In the long run, this "partnership" will be unlikely to involve much more than a few Spurs kits in RealSports shops and a lot of huffing and puffing around the friendly. Hand-wringing that TFC become "Spurs' Jr." is anxiety of an unnecessary level. Spurs have similar agreements with many international clubs that don't amount to much more than merchandising opportunities.

We will have more on Defoe as his unveiling looms on Monday. For TFC supporters, this shouldn't be a day to worry about corporate tomfoolery but to look forward to watching the best striker the club has ever had.

Fancy a right ol' knees up me china? 'Ave a butcher's hook as TFC release Defoe teaser!

Put an 'at on yer barnet - you're off to Canada chappie!



You lot ain't gonna Adam & Eve it! We've been Hank Marvin for a bit 'a good news for ages but it finally looks like Toronto FC pulled their finger out and put up the dosh to half-inch Jermain Defoe off the Lilywhites. Oh the look on your boat race! It ain't no porkies love, by Monday you'll 'ave yer mincers on The Reds' new bit of all right!

As seen below, Toronto FC went to the same "Big Book of Stereotypes" that the British tabloids used when they photoshopped a Mountie's uniform on Jermain Defoe, to tease the locals. But all daft videos aside, the obvious nod to the confirmation of what will be the biggest signing in club history is quite monumental and an admitted coup for TFC.

We will hold our breath on details just in case there is an almighty asterisk to the announcement (such as Defoe not arriving until summer or returning to England on loan) but for once, a #TFCMajorAnnouncement might actually be major. So we sit back and wait until Monday... with a lovely cuppa the 'ole Rosy Lee.

THE WORD: "Jermain Defoe is a Red-oh?"

Much to ponder...

 

Well at least the "R" word has little chance of being banned anytime soon.

The ink had barely dried on new striker Gilberto's DP contract before local media started to aggressively hint (Kurt Larson with his version here) that his future partner in shots-on-target is practically locked in. The name being spoken is none other than the hinted "biggest MLS transfer OF ALL TIMEZ!" (TM) - Jermain Defoe.

While far from the first time that the Tottenham striker's name has been rumoured with TFC, the original whispers seem to be turning into a dull roar. Massive dollar amounts such as a $10 Million Dollar transfer fee to Spurs and a whopping $150,000 Dollars-a-week contract are being floated not too quietly across the Atlantic. It has all become a very open come-hither look to Defoe usually reserved by British Page 3 girls towards the poacher.

However, before we all run-out (Except you, Toronto Arsenal supporters. You're gonna hate this aren't you?) and get TFC # 18 kits, this deal is not finalized and funny things can happen on the way up the Seven Sisters Road. Defoe is still very much a useful part of Spurs who are quite thin up front. The original North London club will want to shore up their striker prospects before letting Defoe jet off into the tundra. This could delay or at worse cease any deal. A possible loan-back to Spurs until March could be one way around this.

The other sticking point is Defoe's desire to play for England this summer at the World Cup. Ignorantly, MLS is still seen as a retirement wilderness to the English press and even the FA and he may fear an "out of sight, out of mind" factor in the crucial lead-up months to Brazil. Perhaps TFC have greased the wheels with old Roy Hodgson or maybe this leads to Defoe's arrival being of the summer variety over March. There are still many variables in this potential deal.

In the end, money could be the makeweight. Defoe is not likely to get a 4-year deal with that kind of compensation from another Premiership club. Deep-pockets QPR could be in with a shout but if they aren't promoted from the Championship, the appeal of a new continent of unsullied glamour models may just bring TFC their biggest name yet. 

 

You're on the clock Degrassi.

THE WORD: Jermain? Possibly present.

Get used to telling guys where to stand mate

"Glamour models" of Canada rejoice! According to internationally renowned truth-peddling newspaper The Mirror, Toronto FC have found "the biggest MLS DP of all timez" - Tottenham Hotspur stalwart/lady aficionado Jermain Defoe.

Now this is isn't the first time that TFC and Defoe's name have been linked in a #LeiwekeLeaks scoop but it is the first time that any major media outlet has gone as far as to say that a deal has been struck. And what a deal*! A reported $150,000 (US)-a-week, 4-year contract which we assume includes Andrew Wiedeman as Defoe's butler. This is in addition to an apparent transfer fee in the $10-12 Million range to be paid to Spurs.

How sure are The Mirror that this deal is done? They hired the top designers in the Fleet Street game to Photoshop Defoe's face onto a Mountie. That kind of Rap Game Stereotyping does not come cheap!

Now before we all run out and get our TFC Defoe kits made (Except you of course, torn Toronto FC/Arsenal supporters. Suck it.) let us remember that TFC and transfers are never a black-and-white case. From Urrutis to Forlans to Gilardinos and er... Ben Haims - this stuff never goes smoothly at BMO Field. Does Defoe "tick all the boxes" for Tim Leiweke and TFC? Yes. Does a player intent on making England's World Cup 2014 squad pine for a move to Major League Soccer's clown college? Not so fast.

Various mainstream North American media types are hedging their bets for and against The Mirror story tonight. Some are corroborating the rumour, some are saying it's being worked on and the odd one is pointing at TFC's history and laughing milk through their nostrils. Most likely where there is this much smoke, there is some fire. Whether or not it ignites into a full Deferno, the next few weeks should tell.

Many TFC fans will simply not believe this rumour until Jermaine Defoe is a solid 15 minutes into a match wearing the red of The Reds. This is a safe way to treat this for now. Could Defoe do a good job at TFC? Undoubtedly... but let's worry about that when said shirt goes over said rumoured DP's head.

Sunshine Girls - you have been warned.