THE STARTING 11: Ways that TFC will be different under Bell and Rogers

"Ugh, my iPhone is stuck on the UNHOLY setting"



The dust has settled over Bay Street since Friday's dramatic announcement that Bell and Rogers were buying major shares of Maple Leaf Sports and "Entertainment". A few things became evident by watching the glad-handing press conference: Bell and Rogers may be in bed over this deal - but they do not enjoy each other's company; the deal is 99% about getting corporate boxes at Leafs games; and, TFC are the equivalent of "the player to be named later" in the deal. Our beloved Reds were indeed little more than an asterix during the presser, with Larry Tanenbaum even having to be reminded of the name of the league's trophy. In fairness "MLS Cup" is pretty difficult to remember. Despite TFC not being the jewel of the MLSE crown, the ownership change will bring inevitable changes to BMO Field....
　
11. Referees' whistle replaced with Rogers' "Da-da-dum-dum" noise
　
10. Chip Buttys now available on the iPhone
　
9. TFC supporters legally allowed to mock Whitecaps fans that "we own 37.5% of your shirts"
　
8. Bob de Klerk constantly haranguing fans over the benefits of Fibre Optic Internet service
　
7. Sportsnet and TSN anchors to bare-knuckle box during halftime
　
6. TFC's Front Office replaced by Indian call centre
　
5. Jim Brennan comes to your house to install your PVR
　
4. Extra Time to be anytime during 9AM and 5PM
　
3. Ty Harden to be dealt for spool of coaxial cable
　
2. BMO Field security allowed to "bundle your package"
　
1. Soolsma On Demand

Rogers and Bell bundle their package

"Your call is important to us... please hold."



At the end of day there was no Arab Sultanate, no oil-rich Russian oligarch or even any American financiers. No, like a giant, wireless Voltron-like creature - Canada's two largest media giants, and bitter rivals, Rogers and Bell joined forces today to purchase 75% of Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment. The deal which will see the much-maligned Ontario Teachers' Pension Plan receive $1.2 Billion dollars suddenly creates one of North America's largest sports and media conglomerates along the lines of the Time-Warner Network and the YES Network - the New York Yankees based sports broadcast giant.
　
MLSE will still exist in name with Larry Tanenbaum managing to up his hold on the company to 25% while also holding on to his title of club governor to the NHL, NBA and MLS. Rogers and Bell will both own 37.5% of the company respectively while also agreeing behind the scenes on future broadcast sharing plans. While Rogers claims that their existing ownership of the Toronto Blue Jays is not officially part of this deal - in theory, an entity with many tentacles now controls four local sports clubs, three sporting facilities, valuable downtown real estate and a near monopoly over regional sports broadcast rights. It is a monumental deal no matter how you feel about its future prospects.
　
There will be advantages to the new structure once the OTPP officially hands over power next summer. MLSE will stay in Canadian hands, something which will please the patriots in the crowd; there will be revolutionary advances in wireless media options available to fans of the Leafs, Raptors and TFC; the continuing presence of Larry Tanenbaum will keep a fulcrum of power between the two faceless media giants; and, perhaps a silver lining for the sports fans, is the feeling that for the broadcasters to make the most profit out of this deal, their teams will need to be competitive and for the most part - winners.
　
On the other side of the coin of course there are fears. Did one giant anonymous profit-driven group step aside to be replaced by two anonymous profit driven groups? Will bitter rivals Bell and Rogers, as well as the mercurial Tanenbaum, eventually butt heads creating and air of chaos at MLSE? Is the groundwork being laid for a premium cost regional cable network which will house the broadcast rights for all of MLSE's clubs at a heavy cost to fans' wallets? Truly, only time will tell.
　
Being that our only real concern in this deal is the effect on Toronto FC, feelings are mixed. There will be the natural fear to think that TFC will now drop from its place as 3rd most important club down to 4th (with the Jays joining the family) and this may indeed be the case. However, the real aspect to watch will be if the groundwork being laid by TFC as a club, such as the Academy program etc., will be honoured going forward. You would have to hope that much of the structure of TFC as it exists now will be preserved but listening to Rogers' President Nasir Mohammed continually failing to mention TFC at today's press conference, as well as Tanenbaum forgetting the name of the MLS Cup, was worrying. The Leafs and Raptors were trumpeted as the jewels of the deal - let's hope TFC aren't relegated down to a multicultural marketing tool for cell phones and little else.
　
At the end of the day, things may not end up looking that different. Will the ownership still be a faceless unaccountable boardroom? Yes. Will we pay increasingly higher prices to attend matches as well as watch them at home? Yes. Will this deal really help bring trophies to the city's beleaguered sports fans? Rogers and Bell Customer Service is standing by.... please hold.

THE STARTING 11: Ways Toronto FC would change under Rogers

"Duddi-dum-dum" - Oh, you know the tune.

Last week, news emerged in Toronto that cable TV, wireless, internet, telephone, nuclear weapon and human sport-hunting giant Rogers Communications, wanted to purchase ML$E's sporting empire. The rumoured deal for the Teacher's Pension Fund's stake in the trophy-phobic sports franchises is reportedly worth well over a Billion dollars and is still making waves across the business landscape. Of course part of the package deal would be our dear Toronto Football Club which raises the question - how would things be different for Reds supporters if the The Ghost of Ted Rogers and his executive team took charge at BMO Field?
　
11. Stadium scoreboard to have giant PVR installed below
　
10. Season ticket holders to be constantly pestered by telemarketers
　
9. All matches to be broadcasted on The Women's Network
　
8. You can "bundle your package" at halftime
　
7. Team nickname changed from "The Reds" to "The Teds"
　
6. Matches scheduled on weekdays "anytime between 9AM and 5PM"
　
5. Nick LaBrocca moves from midfield to "Breakfast Television"
　
4. Desperately scouting Brazil for player named "Rogerinho"
　
3. Chip Buttys now wireless
　
2. Front Office replaced by offshore call centre
　
1. Dichio On Demand

Das Falsche Konsültant Journal: Day Achtundzwanzig - Who is Roger Cäble?

7 AM: Wunderbar! I love der fresh und crisp Dezember mornings! Things are finally going in the direction I command. Must go forward! I will let nothing destroy my pleasant mood today - nichts!
　
7:15 AM: Strange texten message from Herr Anselmi, Chancellor of FC Toronto: "if Rogers callz u - just don't answer. Gave them your # by accident! LOL!" Again mit the LOL - was ist LOL? Liverwürst On Liverwürst? This texten has made my tum tum mumble mit hunger.
　
7:30 AM: Breakfast: Fridge is not full to mein specifications! Delivery from German interweben food merchant "You Will Eat This and Enjoy It" is late! Not a breakfast mackerel nor morning gherkin in der sight! Be cool Jürgy... must keep Kalifornien gut vibes going. Ironically eat liverwürst on liverwürst. Hunger driven into the sea.
　
9 AM: Observe ocean from bird's eye view. One can never be too careful of die sudden nautical invasion. See korpulent child fall und destroy sand castle. Made me smile.
　
9:15 AM: Ocean observation interrupted by telefön. Someone by name of Roger Cäble asken me to "bundle zie package"! I am no dummkopf - this ist der crank call! I tell Herr Cäble to "shove der summer sausage where the sun is no longer providing light" und hang up. Mood shaken but not stirred... liken famous German moviefilm karachter Helmut Bondël in spy thriller "Der Spy Who Had Adequate Emotions Towards Me"
　
10 AM: Get down to konsültantwerk. I see that zie Earl of Cockrain and der JimmyBee have been busy. Der legacy of Mö Jaansten must be destroyed immediately. Tzar Nicholas Garcia has been removed from locker room power und I am pleased. I do not trust man in headband. Never since Gabriel Batistuta put knee in mein kugelsack during Sampdoria v Fiorentina!
　
10:30 AM: Another telefönen call from der Roger Cäble! Who ist zis man? Und nein - I am nicht interested in der free trial of der Roger Homeföne! Who is testing mein gut mood with such dark idiocy?
　
11 AM: Nackt Yoga.
　
12 PM: Took special kitty kat friend Karl-Heinz to Katzen Doktor for annual inoculations against feline diseases, der fleas und Dutch people. Stop at der Stärbucks und ask for Marzipan Frappucino. I am met with stüpid stare from der koffeestaffen. “You can get der Marzi-cino in München Starbucks” I yell. Force a smile to maintain cool dude Kalifornien mood.
　
2 PM: Strange texten: “Switch to Rogers Wireless today and receive 10000 free air miles!” Was ist this madness? Why is Herr Roger Cäble hunting me like die wolf in zie Black Forest? I don’t even want die air milen! I kollect Lufthansa Luftmetres!
　
3:30 PM: Speak to Herr Anselmi, ask him if mein Englische is not guten but I am thinking “interim” is meaning temporary. He seems very nervös und mumbling about “us all being interim if those teachers...” then he just grumbled und I think a tiger growled in der background.
　
5 PM: Checken zie emailen. Oh mein Gott!!! Nein! I don’t want zie Rogers Yahoo! emailen! How has das Roger Cäble gestapo found mein emailen?
　
5:30 PM: I am hiding in die Klinsmann Family Bibliothek from Herr Cäble. Try to read best-selling German komedy book “Moustachen und Beards of The Hapsburg Empire” but am in no mood for der giggles. Instead put on DeeVeeDee spy film of Helmut Böndel “Achtungpussy”.
　
7:15 PM: Roger Cäble will not halt calling der telefön! Was ist der PVR? Is this some type of landing vehicle? I rush to oceanview... still clear.
　
8 PM: The Dinner: Herr Cäble has not only ruined mein day but mein appetite! Und still no Bavarian food packages! I am forced to eat olden snack from last trip to Frankfurt - Chocolate bunny filled with minced beef. Delicious - yet mood is rife with defeat.
　
9:15 PM: Erotische Zeit.
　
10 PM: Enough ist enough! Roger Cäble und I get into a screaming battle. I tell them “to never come near me or der Klinsmann home or I will get Rudi Völler und his gang to teach them a lesson - East Berlin style!”. Mood has become light again. I will never have to deal with Herr Cäble again! Decide to sürf das interweben before bedtimen. Sürf to Toronto news zeitung Glöbben Und Mailen. Headlinen: “Rogers to buy MLSE”
　
10:03 PM: Schiesse.

“Das Falsche Konsültant Journal” does not claim to represent the words of any real Germanic person living, dead or miscellaneous. No package was budled during the publication of this falsche Bavarian diary. Danke.

Rogers offers to bundle their sports package

That's where they keep the Giant Laser

If Rogers Communications gets its way it could be "C'mon you Teds" at BMO Field in the near future. As reported first by the Toronto Star, the cable giant is in talks with the Ontario Teacher's Pension Fund to buy out their share of Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment's sporting empire in a deal worth well over $1 Billion Dollars. The apparent proposal would see The Evil Cable Geniuses wrest control of the Toronto Maple Leafs, Toronto Raptors, Toronto Marlies and our dear Toronto FC from The Evil Pension Fund and Miscellaneous Geniuses. The question on every Reds supporter's mind was immediately - good or bad?
　
The first impulse was to say "F*%k Yeah, it's not ML$E!" While some would prefer to take the "devil you know" stance, the devilish MLSE has shown that they don't know winning, so really - how much worse could it be under Rogers? Using Rogers' history managing the Blue Jays you can at least recognize a will to make positive moves and spend cash to chase wins as opposed to our current regime. And, while Rogers is indeed just another faceless corporation, they are at least a single entity as opposed to the many stakeholder factions that rule the MLSE Board. It is no secret that Rogers' interest in snapping up MLSE's teams is to further content for their many television and communications networks - one thing they do understand in that domain is that good teams equal better ratings. That could be the most hopeful positive.
　
On the other side of the dial (or home phone, cell phone, wireless network etc.) Toronto FC could end up being the very poor stepchild in a family with the Leafs far at the top of corporate attention. Supporters’ yells for improvements in any area of the club may face a much more distant journey in a corporation larger and with far more tentacles than MLSE. Investment into the "4th Franchise" of the Nu-Rogers Empire could be slow in coming with long-term projects like stadium expansion and the new training facility shelved for the foreseeable future. Also, despite assuming that TFC will have greater coverage on TV with a cable network as owners, they could once again be fourth in the pecking order for airtime. If Rogers does pull of this deal there will be a good year-and-a-half to two year transition period for TFC that could see the on-field product struggle from the changes in the front office.
　
There are far too many pros and cons both known and unknown to weigh up so prematurely. The deal as it stands at the moment seems far from done and there is the very real possibility that MLSE honcho Larry Tanenbaum could still make a legal powerplay to get control of most of the company's shares. The battle will no doubt be drawn out for a while longer but no matter what happens, it will be years not months before we see how The Reds, or Teds, are affected.
　
　
The original story from the Toronto Star