AFTER 90: Reds in control - MLSE relocating Toronto FC to El Salvador

Big night for "Jamiroquai"

C.D. AGUILA VS. TORONTO

CONCACAF CHAMPIONS LEAGUE - GROUP 1

FIRST HALF:

1' - Despite having 93 different channels, Sportsnet can't find a space for kick-off without disturbing millions of Canadians on the edge of their seats for Boston Red Sox vs. Tampa Bay Rays baseball. They could have at least shown the Tea Men host the Rowdies.

3' - Baseball been berry, berry bad to us.

5' - Would watch match online but word just came through that El Salvador's computer is down.

10' - And we're on the television machine! First look at a Toronto FC line-up that would strike fear into the hearts of the bottom three teams in the NASL. Sportsnet forgets the internet exists and starts the game from kickoff giving this a strange Back to the Future feel.

8' (to the DeLorean!) - Ryan Johnson looking dangerous as he usually does... only in the CCL

16' - GOAL: Toronto - Quincy gives Aguila's keeper a coroner's report. Amarikwa's leaping header puts The Reds up early.

C.D. AGUILA 0 - TORONTO 1

17' - Genuine kudos to the three travelling supporters of TFC at the Estadio Barraza at a time when getting supporters to BMO Field is a challenge. Well done lads. Don't get kidnapped, MLSE will NOT pay for your release.

25' - C.D. Aguila's main shirt sponsor is "Mister Donut" which must anger Jim "Mr. Coffee" Brennan to no end.

30' - TFC's hodgepodge defence playing a strong line against Aguila's "ambitious" (aww bless) attackers.

33' - Aaron Maund breaks free and chooses to shoot rather than seek the very open man. His shot lands somewhere near Nicaragua.

38' - Literally dozens of home supporters on hand tonight. Was it a 10PM local start or was there a military junta?

40' - GOAL: Toronto - Tonight's captain Terry "Bear Feather" Dunfield taps in a solid low cross from Jamiroquai (as almost pronounced by FOX Soccer) to double the lead.

C.D. AGUILA 0 - TORONTO 2

45' - One-way traffic as the half closes with TFC fully in charge. That looks weird when typed.

HALFTIME: C.D. AGUILA 0 - TORONTO 2

SECOND HALF:

45' - And we're back live - or are we? Only Doc Brown knows for sure! Gigawatts!

46' - Scary start to the half as Luis Silva falls victim to a "very special" Central American tackle. Should have been a red card to Aguila's Henry "Kick of The Dead" Romero

54' - SUB: Eric Avila on for Luis Silva

55' - Darwin Bonilla leading a mini-evolution for Aguila's offence

57' - YELLOW CARD: Reggie Lambe

65' - Match footage will officially be lost before CONCACAF edits their "Best of Champions League" DVD

71' - Team who can't score only slightly bothering team who can't be bothered to score again.

75' - Ryan Johnson rattles the bar. If his CCL form leaves him, he will never score.

76' - SUB: Adrian Cann on for Dicoy Williams

81' - SUB: Andrew Wiedeman on for Reggie Lambe

83' - Andrew Wiedeman may actually be one of the best finishers in El Salvador's modern era.

85' - GOAL: Terry Dunfield crashes his second over the line and wins FIFA's "Least Brazilian Goal 2012" award

C.D. AGUILA 0 - TORONTO 3

89' - Broadcasters doing their best to draw in the mid-90's MTV crowd by continually making Amarikwa sound like "Jamiroquai" and C.D. Aguila vaguely sound like "C. Aguilera"

90' - Match draws to a close and no players lost in the pitch. Success!

FULL TIME: C.D. AGUILA 0 - TORONTO 3

PLAYER RATINGS: Freddy Hall  5.5 / Jeremy Hall 6 / Dicoy Williams 6 (Adrian Cann N/A) / Logan Emory 6.5 / Ashtone Morgan 6 / Reggie Lambe 5.5 (Andrew Wiedeman N/A) / Aaron Maund 6.5 / Terry Dunfield 7 / Luis Silva 5.5 (Eric Avila 5) / Quincy Amarikwa 7 / Ryan Johnson 5.5

THE YORKIES' TFC MAN OF THE MATCH: Quincy Amarikwa

THE BATH:

We will never take anything away from a win - we just want a little side-order of sanity with it. We don't want to hear any "hats of to the lads"; "Quincy Amarikwa is the best crosser in the modern era"; or, "we have turned a corner". No, TFC did what they very well should have in beating little more than a semi-pro team in front of a stadium where TFC's three away supporters made the most noise.

It was a win that needs to be expected from this team yet one where The Reds were (sometimes understandably) guilty of taking their foot off the gas. A solid win over an inferior opponent. Good. That's what you are supposed to do. Do that to Santos Laguna and we will happily listen to any platitudes you may have TFC.

CHANTS ON GOAL: "It's usually quite loud"

"What do you mean 'no one knows the theme song'?"


From the band who brought you the South Stand’s first full-length version of Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody (well most of the words at least)… it’s time for another sing-along! It’s been a while since we’ve had a midweek hymn sheet, but hey… we ain’t out curing diseases, so here you go! Gargle… "me-me-me-meee"… and now with gusto so that all of BMO Field will join in… or at least the half-dozen drunks around you…
　
After six years in the South End we kind of get that rhythmic "oohing" seems to catch on. Let’s shake it up with this ode to TFC’s ability to play with our mental state…

REDS DRIVE US CRAZY
(To the tune of "She Drives Me Crazy")

You drive us crazy! (Ooh-oooh)
Like no one else! (Ooh-oooh)
You drive us crazy,
But we can’t help ourselves!



Oh you knew this was coming the day he signed. Plus – no one knows the "Quincy" theme song. We asterixed out the naughty words but if you want to egg on Don "No Swears For You" Garber – remove the asterixes and eff away…

AMARIKWA! F*CK YEAH!
(To the tune of "America! F*ck Yeah!")

Amarikwaaaaaa!
A-marikwaaaaaa!

Amarikwa, F*ck Yeah!
Joinin' The Reds to score some f*ckin’ goals, Yeah!

Amarikwa! F*ck Yeah!
Forward is the only way, Yeah!

(Video now with 30% more low-budget Captain America DVD)


And for today’s final lesson – we thought we’d expand on the long lost "This Is Our House" with a tribute to the tin shack we lovingly call home…

(THIS IS) OUR HOUSE
(To the tune of "Our House" – 2nd verse)

Our house it has a crowd
We’re supporting TFC
And it’s usually quite loud

Our club - we are so proud
Nothing ever slows em’ down
And a loss is not allowed

Our house, in the middle of The Ex
Our house, in the middle of The Ex

(Repeat chorus until you’re tired)
　


Got a song or a chant you think TFC supporters need to hear? Email it to us at theyorkies1812@gmail.com or send us the idea on Twitter @theyorkies1812 and we may feature it in a future "Chants on Goal"

Amarikwa! F*ck Yeah!

Apparently, with just under 2 weeks in the transfer window to go, Toronto FC is on the verge of signing 24-year old American forward Quincy Amarikwa.

The Up Side : He's young, he's probably cheap, he's a forward and most importantly, he's a PLAYER.  Toronto's roster is badly depleted and with a lack of depth at defense as well as a lack of anyone up front, so this is a good move.  Especially if he's free and they're paying him in sandwiches.  Baloney.  No cheese.

The Down Side : In his 56 games over the last 3.5 seasons, he's averaged a mere 25 minutes a game, with a peak of 34 minutes last season, so he has bench power.  Is bench power a thing?  Let's see if we can trend this sucker #benchpower.  Also he's been good for 1 goal per year, and too bad he's already bagged his allotment for this season.

Excitement : meh.

He could very well be a diamond in the rough who just needs a chance and there's always room in the spotlight in Toronto, but that's the optimist writing here.  If Quincy is going to break through, one must think it has to be "Toronto or Bust... or USL Pro".

So where's the rest of the signings.  Just sign Stalteri for the remainder of the season already so there appears that some effort was made.