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Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Pre-Season Potpourri

---"It's called Scottish Offseason... it absolutely reeks of inactivity"

- The rumours are floating heavily that an announcement is imminent from MLS that Toronto will host the 2010 MLS Cup Final. The match would be played at BMO Field in late November. Brrr! Whoever kisses the cup at the end of the match better not use tongue. Well, there's one worry that TFC players won't have - very little chance of a hometown appearance. MLSE however, will no doubt use the event to mask another lacklustre season - a la Real Madrid 2009.
 
- More news from Don Garber's office (it likely has a tank of exotic carnivorous fish and a giant laser). The Don looks set to announce that Montreal will soon be named as the league's 19th club. Joey Saputo will be undoubtedly be preparing a special celebratory provolone ball as the Quebec government (via Toronto's tax transfer payments) will expand the stadium and bring Le Francophones to La League du Soccer Majorette. Hopefully he will ditch the completely lame-assed "Impact" nickname (FC Olympique du Montreal?) but unlikely. In other news, Columbus will no longer have a fake rival in TFC as the "401 Derby" will instantly be MLS's most heated match-up.
 
- As most TFC supporters already know, Toronto manager Preki has bluntly said that striker/ cake enthusiast Ali Gerba is not in the team's plans. Gerba has come out and said the club is muddying his good name in order to cut his contract but either way you slice it, the Gerba/ TFC era will be a mystery. How a player who has scored goals with every club he played for except one is strange. misDirector of Football Mo Johnston commented something close to "mumble, mumble, bullsh*t, lies, corporate speak..." then something in Scottish.
 
- More great successes from our Highland hierarchy/ truth avoidance specialist, Johnston. The deadline for opening day rosters closes at 5PM today and as of press time (I like to call myself press. No credentials, but I have a hat) TFC only has 15 eligible players. That’s right soccer fans - not even enough for a full bench! TFC's DP Julian De Guzman says he's never seen anything like it and really, neither has most of the football world. Johnston's astonishing year 4 of a 25 year plan, may see him sign trialists Martin Saric and Adrian Cann. Neither has ever played consistently at a level close to MLS standard. Hurray for soccer!
 
- Finally, in heart-warming news, Adrian Serioux (who TFC claimed was so injured his career may be in jeopardy) scored easily for new club Houston in their final friendly. "Too old for TFC" Carl Robinson played very well against Santos for NYRB. The classy Welshman played hard and placed a beautiful cross on Mike Petke's noggin for a goal. And, just in case you are curious - Amado Guevara has a goal in 10 appearances for his hometown club Motagua before captaining Honduras at the 2010 World Cup this summer. Thank goodness Mo cut all that dead weight! Phew! If only Nick Garcia was a quality international - then he'd be out for sure.

2 comments:

  1. I miss Carl already, but Jersey has it's own reality show and Oakville does NOT so good for him. Will prepare for another season of frustration. Farck.

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  2. How many Reds' supporters are betting that Robbo is going to come back to BMO with the New Jersey Energy Drinkers and get his revenge? He wouldn't gloat though - too classy. Unlike a certain misDirector of Football.

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