Sing when you're not winning

------"Sorry mate, you were singing off-key, you have to leave."

The grass is almost finished being painted green. The chip butty batter is being mixed. The PA announcer is learning how to speak Latvian. Yes, it's almost opening day at BMO Field. The expansion Philadelphia Union (I wonder how long their 5-year plan is?) will be winging their way to Toronto for Thursday night's big match under the floodlights and will be greeted by yet another sold-out Toronto FC crowd.
　
Since year one, the Toronto support has been lauded around MLS circles for being one of the league's loudest and best. How they have been re-paid by the team is another story. Either way, the supporters love a good chant or sing-along during a match and have memorized quite the little repertoire. However, if you're a little tired of singing for bald retirees, here are a few of the better chants that have come into us over the off-season. Sing, you burly baritones - sing!
　
DE-ROSARIO (Captain's Armband Remix) - to the tune of "B-I-N-G-O"
The Captain is from Scar-bo-rough
And De Ro is his name-o!
De-Rosario! De-Rosario! De-Rosario!
And De Ro is his name-o!
　
HEY JULES (The JDG Song) - to the tune of The Beatles' "Hey Jude"
Hey Jules,
It's not so bad.
It's not La Liga,
But it's getting better
　
Remember,
When puffing out that afro,
You are now rich
And close to Scar-bro!
　
OUT (The Mo(ve) Out) - to the tune of Tears For Fears' "Shout"
Out! Out!
Get the hell out!
Mo is the one we are singing about,
Get lost... you ginger buffoon.
Get lost!
　
DO THE SANYANG - to the tune of The Police's "Doo-Doo-Doo"
Amadou-doo-doo,
Ama-dah-dah-dah!
He's the Red from Gambi-ah!
(Repeat)
　
MO'S HOLES - to the tune of "Hole in the bucket - Dear Liza"
There's a hole in our defence,
Mo Johnston, Mo Johnston.
There's a hole in our defence,
Mo Johnston, a hole.
　
There's a hole in our midfield,
Mo Johnston, Mo Johnston.
There's a hole in our midfield,
Mo Johnston, a hole.
　
There's a hole in our offence,
Mo Johnston, Mo Johnston.
There's a hole in our offence,
Mo Johnston, a hole.
　
There's a hole in your backside,
Mo Johnston, Mo Johnston.
There's a hole in your backside,
And that's what you are.
　
CHIP BUTTY CHANT - to the Gap Band's "Oops Upside Your Head"
We-put-chips on bread,
Say, we put chips on bread!
(Repeat ad nauseum!)
　
THE FACTS OF MO - to the theme of TV's "Facts Of Life"
He trades the good,
He keeps the bad,
He blows the cap, and there ya' go,
The facts of Mo - It's the facts of Mo!
(Repeat)
　
LIFE ON BAY STREET - to the tune of "Que Sera Sera"
Que sera sera,
Our owners are M-L-SE,
5 year plans are what we'll see
For... eternity!
(Repeat with gusto!)