THE MATCHUP: On the outside looking in... MLS Cup Final Toronto 2010 Special Edition

The word "Toronto" near a trophy... so rare!

COLORADO RAPIDS VS. FC DALLAS
　
BMO FIELD - SUNDAY 8:30 PM ET
TV: TSN2 (VARIOUS NORTH AMERICAN NETWORKS)
　
Back in those glorious, successful Mo Johnston-led years, Toronto FC owners, Maple Leaf Sports & "Entertainment", promised to bring a championship to the city within their famous "five-year plan". Well, they did it... and with a year left on the plan! The fact that TFC aren't anywhere near the Cup Final is a minor detail they'd rather us not mention.
　
Yes, The Bay Street Monopoly Tycoons persuaded Major League Soccer to hold their biggest match in Toronto... in late November... with dollar signs flashing in their eyes. At that time, TFC-fever meant that ML$E could put a red shirt on a monkey and charge $200 dollars but a disastrous 2010 season followed by gluttonous ticket price increases meant that MLS Cup interest disappeared in the city. On this realization of course, ML$E "gifted" the tickets on top of 2011 Season Ticket prices thus creating fan anger which has further fuelled local animosity towards the match. Sunday evening's 0 Degree Celsius weather forecast is just the karma cherry on top.
　
ML$E of course prayed to whatever secret sun/goat god they worship for a New York v LA final but alas they were "re-gifted" with the least glamourous final in MLS history. While the match may indeed turn out to be entertaining and will crown a first-time champion, it did nothing to create any "Cup Fever". In Toronto, the apathy is palpable and you get the feeling that ML$E would rather the whole potentially embarrassing event would just go away. Planned "fan events" and celebrations have been muted at best and Monday can't seem to come quick enough. Of course, that means ML$E must once again pretend to prepare for TFC to be in next year's final. But they'd rather we don't mention that either.
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "The Forced To Be Here Cup"
　
BURGUNDY BOREDOM: Conor Casey, Pablo Mastroeni, Marvell Wynne
FC DULL-ASSED: Kevin Hartman, Brek Shea, David Ferriera　

THE ODDS:
- Don Garber wondering aloud "where the league's best fans are?": 5-1
- Players succumbing to frostbite related injuries: 3-1
- ML$E still managing to make a massive profit: EVENS
　
WHO ARE YA?
- Sunday's match may be the coldest cup final since Dynamo Iqaluit beat Alert Wednesday in the 1992 Inuit Champions League Final
- BMO Field is preparing for the expected rush of visiting Colorado and Dallas supporters with 9 extra folding chairs on order
- ML$E are training their employees to keep Toronto FC supporters as far from the MLS Cup as possible, in order to keep expectations in check for 2011
　
RAPIDS FANS SAY: 2-1 Colorado
FC DALLAS FANS SAY: Huh? We have a soccer team? 14-10 Texas?
HEADLINE: "MLS CUP IN TORONTO... APPARENTLY"