THE MATCHUP: Reds seek end to Capitol-ism

"The Reds go marching on to victory!"

TORONTO FC (6th) VS. D.C. UNITED (16th)

BMO FIELD - SATURDAY 7PM ET

TV: GOLTV

A major moment during the War of 1812 was the sacking of the Town of York (now Toronto) by American Forces. In retaliation for this act of aggression, the British forces marched on Washington D.C. and torched the White House. If modern day footballers read history books... or books - Toronto FC vs. D.C. United could be a monstrous rivalry.
　
Instead, the Reds / United match is just another Eastern Conference (ugh) matchup between two teams who have never great since first meeting in 2007. United were once the powerhouse of MLS but have had a tough few years and are in a rebuilding mode not unlike Toronto. United coach Ben Olsen has got his young team playing with heart, if not tremendous skill, with majority of the offence going through dynamic loan-signing Charlie Davies. The two clubs are both coming off stalemates to LA Galaxy and TFC needs to start grabbing wins at home rather than more draws.
　
"The Matchup" - now with 50% more loan signings! - Word has emerged that TFC has signed English defender Richard Eckersley from Burnley on a season-long loan. The 22-year-old ginger ninja full back entered pro football as a Manchester United schoolboy before joining Burnley in 2009. Since joining The Clarets, Eckersley has bounced around the English lower tiers on loan including a stop under Paul Mariner's tutelage at Plymouth Argyle. A solid pick-up with the ability to play both wings, Eckersley's arrival could spell the end for a defender lower on the TFC depth chart.
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "The 1812'er"
　
RED MENACE: Tony "Touch" Tchani, Alan Gordon, Stefan Frei
CAPITOL-ISTS: Charlie Davies, Dax McCarty, Branko Boskovic
　
THE ODDS
- American broadcasters referring to the match as a "battle between two nation's capitals": 25-1 (they'd kind of be right though)
- Toronto FC's marketing department releasing a range of "1812 Fever" products including redcoats, pith helmets and the Danny Dichio signed bayonet: 250-1
- If TFC loses badly, Bob de Klerk to travel to RFK Stadium in D.C. and light it on fire: 1000-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
- TFC plan to honour United and Canadian international GK Pat Onstad with a belated birthday cake at halftime with a message reading "Happy Birthday. you traitorous 71-year-old"
- DC United was once famous for having the "best fans in the league". Until Toronto came along. Until Seattle came along. Until last light when Portland came along.
- Massive footy fan Barack Obama was said to be ready to put a wager on this match with Toronto Mayor Rob Ford. The plan was nixed over Ford's apparent reply of "Football is played with hands not feet. Soccer is for pinkos. Gravy Train! Mmm... who bought cake? Graffiti!"
　
DUTCH-ENGLISH TRANSLATION OF THE MATCH:
"Eeshtern Conferensh match wit DeeShee"
　
SIR ISAAC BROCK SAYS: 2-1 Toronto
JAMES MADISON SAYS: 1-1 Draw
HEADLINE: "200 YEAR OLD HOSTILITY ENDED BY MEN IN SHORTS"

Eckersley... very Red