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Friday, October 7, 2011

"Get stuffed!" - Thanksgiving with TFC

Not a Chip Butty in sight

It's that time of year when loved ones gather to give thanks for all they have received over the past year. While some Reds' supporters may have not reaped the harvest they expected in 2011, there are still some morsels worth savouring.
Yes, an autumnal playoff bounty is beyond our reach once again, but hopes of a winter (or Winter) seeding gives supporters a light ahead for spring. Considering this time last year we were still picking Mo-furkey from our teeth - it could be worse.
So, tuck in your speculative Champions League Quarterfinal napkin (on sale now at RealSports for $57.99) and sit down for a specially prepared BMO Field Thanksgiving dinner, made from the finest ingredients that TFC managed to cobble together this year.
THE TURKEY: Despite five years roasting in its own self-worthy juices, MLSE is indeed the big dried-out bird. Tough to chew on and often hard-to-swallow, this carcass won't stop telling you how much better it will taste next year while constantly gobble-gobbling at your purse strings.
THE STUFFING: The only thing that made the poultry edible this year was the hope that the stuff inside was planning to add some flavour. ARON WINTER and BOB DE KLERK added the "total" spices to the few breadcrumbs that PAUL MARINER could rustle together. Definitely needs some off-season peppering.
BREAD ROLLS: Solid and filling despite being buttered with shots all year long, STEFAN FREI and MILOS KOCIC are the unsung heroes of the meal and surprisingly not too crusty after being left to bake alone so many times.
SWEET POTATO: Nothing filled the middle of the plate like the sugary staple DWAYNE DE ROSARIO. Always good for a tasty turn but not at his best flavour without the added sugar he wanted. TFC dubiously shared their portion with friends to the south where he aims to keep bringing sweetness until American Thanksgiving.
MASHED POTATO: Just what you need to fill the void - a big hearty portion of Bavarian-style TORSTEN FRINGS. Sturdy, solid and while he may not have the dash of a sweet potato, a TFC feast without him just doesn't satisfy.
BRUSSELS SPROUTS: The robust yet frustrating vegetation in the middle of the plate is undeniably JULIAN DE GUZMAN. You're hit-or-miss with your portion and even though you know it's good for you, it still often leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
TURNIPS: They are awkward, misshapen and you don't know quite how they got there. TY HARDEN and ANDY IRO are indeed the two root vegetables stuck in the middle of the meal. Dress em' up any way you can - they still don't taste quite right and are disastrous in pairs.
CRANBERRY SAUCE: A big dollop of angry red garnish on the side can only be RICHARD ECKERSLEY. Unexpectedly adding zing, this imported delicacy has often been the only flavour in a bland offering - has quite a bite too.
BABY CARROTS: Often a little too raw, but you just know if they are given the time to simmer to perfection ASHTONE MORGAN, MATT STINSON and DONEIL HENRY can be a staple for years to come. Something grown in your own backyard just tastes that much better.
THE GRAVY: Even when the offerings seemed dry and tasteless in 2011, a pint-sized gravy boat in the form of JOAO PLATA added just enough sauce to liven up a BMO Field meal. Smooth and sometimes a bit spicy, he was often the "shake and bake" that made things more palatable.
PUMPKIN PIE: A late edition but a great way to end the meal. Looking great in orange and delivering a reliable finish is a big slice of DANNY KOEVERMANS. Baked fresh late in the season, this Dutch treat may just be the most dependable meal finisher this table has ever seen.
We give thanks for the few scraps on our table this autumn. But... we still expect a bigger, better cornucopia in 2012 - and a season that ends closer to American Thanksgiving. If not, Bitchy the Hawk might start looking tasty.

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