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Thursday, January 31, 2013

LETTERS FROM CAMP: Payne management

"It's good to talk..."

With just a few days before The Reds go all snowbird and head down to Orlando ("WHOOO! SPRING BREAK!"), Kevin Payne took time away from packing his mesh "Daytona Beach '84" tank-tops to hold a round-table discussion with some members of the mainstream Toronto football media. The boss of all things Eff Cee seemed to be in "line drawn in sand" mode which may or may not be a beach metaphor. Here's a few of K-Payne's phat rhymes...
- Some TFC Academy players will be invited to join the first team down in Florida due to some early "impressive performances".
- No word if they will be allowed any beachside hijinks with locals much like in the 1983 seminal theatrical spring break opus... "Spring Break"
- TFC are "looking almost exclusively south" for new players adding that European targets are "overpriced"
- Somewhere Mikael Yourassowsky said "WTF man?!"
- Did not get into any type of financial conversation about the Greek Debt Crisis or the falling value of the Euro over the Honduran Lempira
- Club is hoping to announce new signing this week or early next week but warned "it has been a complex deal"
- Possibly related, possibly not, but definitely complex, Payne dropped that "Peralta deal is not dead"
- In addition to the above 'imminent deal' the club is also working on 3 further deals with attacking players preferably under the age of 27.
- Claimed that the business side of TFC was in "great shape"
- Thousands of TFC supporters rolled their eyes in unison
- Ryan Nelsen was awarded a three-year contract
- "Very disappointed" that "many players showed up unfit" and that "1 or 2 were not even close to being fit"
- Sternly stated "that won't happen again"
- When asked about Torsten Frings, Payne stated "he's deserving of every opportunity to prove he can still do the job" but then quickly added that the German is not in full training yet.
- Claimed that there are "no discussions yet to buy (Frings) out"
- Journalists likely safe to put "yet" in all caps
- Payne was clear that "buying out a DP is an option". Clubs may only do this once a year if you were hoping to hear that Frings, Hassli and Koevermans were all on a bus to Pearson.
- Rather randomly dropped that "the jury is out on Hassli". Not sure what the Frenchman is charged with but it sounds ominous in a 12 Angry Men kind of way
- When asked if it was explained to him why Hassli's contract was renewed a week before he was hired, Payne paused and wryly said "No."
- Somewhere Paul Mariner's ears started to burn.
- Unsurprising to most, Danny Koevermans won't likely be ready to play until the end of June at the earliest. His form would likely be found a month or two after that.
- As if wanting to end things with a big asterisk, Payne let it be known that the 3 DP's along with Darren O'Dea and Richard Eckersley eat up a "very, very large percentage of the salary cap"... so see you this time next year?
- First home fixture now solidly scheduled for SkyDome on March 9 at 1:30 PM. Get your thundersticks now!
- Payne may or may not have put on mesh "Daytona Beach '84" tank-top and strapped surfboard on top of Studebaker station wagon with Florida plates and peeled out of BMO Field parking lot.

1 comment:

  1. Last year in preseason the much maligned Mariner stated the same thing about the lack of cap flexibility when the team had three DPs on the roster, including two who played the same holding mid spot. Yet, after the club was unable to offload JDG during the expansion draft, the idea of buying out JDG's contract and cap hit was anathema to these fans at the time. Glad to see people finally seeing the light here.