Toronto FC signs Richter, Earthquake-related puns to be made

All bundled up for the overstated Canadian cold... brrrrrrrrrr...

Y-014B - The Yorkies Toronto FC new signing form

Name : Ryan Richter

Club : Charleston Battery

College : La Salle University

Years as a pro : 2

Acquired via : ☐ Trade / ☐ Free Agent / ☑ Waivers / ☐ Coerced out of retirement

Because of interest : □ Montreal signed him / ☐ Stolen from Montreal / ☑ none of the above

Say something nice: Ryan Richter has been biding his time for his breakout move, and this could be it.  A former 5th overall pick of Philadelphia, Richter has been on multiple trials with DC yet couldn’t earn a contract.  With a successful stint with the USL-Pro’s Charleston Battery helping them to a championship, Richter has done enough to impress Nelsen.  I’m sure ex-TFC midfielder, and now former Charleston teammate, Amadou Sanyang (remember him?) will be able to impart some wisdom to Richter regarding the city’s best burrito and craft beer.

If he is half as successful at the wing defender/winger roles that he’s used to, he can be a very valuable tool from the bench - not as a substitute due to injury or poor play, but as a change in strategy.

Adjectives checklist:

☑ Versatile

☐ Creative

☐ Tough

☐ Intelligent

☐ Athletic

☐ Anchor

Overall description:

☐ Greatest [attribute] of the modern era

☐ Experienced [position]

☐ Brings plenty of experience

☑ Long career ahead of him

☐ Highly rated goal poacher

☑ Provides different options from what club currently has

Reason for signing:

☐ Desperate acquisition

☐ Fill the salary cap

☐ Pressure from supporters

☑ Depth

☐ Stop-gap signing until [injured player] returns

☐ Glamour designated player signing for marketing purposes

Nonsensical comedic video tie-in: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDi--BYtr24  

@ignirtoq is filling in for the usual news person. He would've had this up earlier, but had no idea where the form was placed. Note to self: look under "Forms" next time.

Letters from Camp: D-volt display against AAA Battery

Eveready. Gold. TFC were neither.

The only good news on a night that was equally rainy and miserable in Toronto as was in Charleston, was announced well before kick-off. Toronto FC chose today to officially announce what Aron Winter told everyone three weeks ago - that the club had officially signed Dutch trio Javier Martina, Elbekay Bouchiba and Nick Soolsma. While Winter crowed about how the three newcomers "will make a difference" for TFC in 2011, the night's following friendly showed little difference from the previous three.
　
Winter decided to play another fairly young and experimental line-up against Battery (who are now a USL Pro side), likely expecting little in the way of a challenge. You know, like against Orlando City last week. The match starters were: Frei, Yourassowsky, Williams, Attakora, Harden, LaBrocca, Cordon, Sturgis, Peterson, Martina, Makubuya... and things went a little like this...
　
- Pass, pass, no ball into the Charleston box
- Pass, pass, cross, no one on the end of it
- Pass, pass, pass back to Frei
- PENALTY Charleston handball in the box. Nathan Sturgis GOAL! on ensuing PK
Charleston 0 - Toronto FC 1
- Pass, pass, pass more.
- Get knocked down by "burly" USL 2 defenders
- Back pass, awful defending... GOAL! Charleston. Really?
Charleston 1 - Toronto FC 1
- Bad pass, bad pass, sloppy tackles
　
HALFTIME: CHARLESTON 1 - TORONTO FC 1
　
- Bring on some subs
- Pass, pass, cross over everyone
- Pass, pass, bogged down in midfield
- Get knocked down more by USL 2 defenders
- Pass poorly, pass back to Frei
- Rain starts
- Lose head in Toronto box... PENALTY... GOAL for Battery. Honestly.
Charleston 2 - Toronto FC 2
- Just keep passing.
- Get outplayed by a team dressed as 1995 Hull City
- Think about real match in 10 days. Pass out.
　
FULL TIME: CHARLESTON 2 - TORONTO FC 1
　
And that sports fans... is that. A lacklustre display against a team of players who wouldn't even be considered at TFC camp. While we are VERY aware that it is pre-season and these games mean nothing etc. etc. - the mixture of poor defending and a stingy strike force don't exactly warm the cockles with our National "derby" on the horizon. Yes, patience is required this year and we are happy to give it out in spades to Team #Winner. But with one friendly left, we need a little more than Javier Martina's runs to give us hope for a good start to the season.