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Monday, September 19, 2011

THE MATCHUP: Tauronto Rocks!

The Tauro FC dressing room is so fun before a match!

TORONTO FC (3rd) VS. TAURO FC (4th)
CONCACAF CHAMPIONS LEAGUE - GROUP C
 
BMO FIELD - TUESDAY 8PM ET
TV: SPORTSNET ONE
 
THE KICKABOUT:
It’s back to Champions League action as TFC make the trek to face TFC. Confused? That’s CONCACAF baby. Once again, this is what it sounds like when doves cry. Still confused? That’s Milhouse baby. After blowing their two chances in two days to beat FC Dallas in the last round of matches, The Reds have little room left for error in this competition. With little else to play for in 2011, the unpredictable and enigmatic Toronto have to be replaced with a killer instinct version of themselves while hoping that Pumas slips back into a coma. If the very beatable TFC (Canal-lover version) aren’t dispatched on Tuesday night then the book can be closed on meaningful competition until spring.
 
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: “The Milhouser”
 
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
TFC (Gringo): Torsten Frings, Ryan Johnson, Danny Koevermans
TFC (Canal): Juan Barrera, Silvio Morelos, Juan Perez,
 
THE ODDS:
- BMO Field’s scoreboard imploding as TFC v TFC is entered: 15-1
- Tauro FC’s kits housing more advertising than all of the side hoardings combined: 25-1
- 8,000 fans “magically” announced as 18,000: EVENS
 
WHO ARE YA?
TFC v TFC is not the first time a more famous club has faced an acronym doppelganger named after an animal. Back in the late 1970’s, UEFA attempted to help the struggling European animal husbandry industry with the InterFarma Cup, a competition where established clubs played smaller clubs whose matching abbreviated names where animal related. Here’s a look at the 1978 InterFarma quarterfinal fixtures:
SWFC v SWFC - Sheffield Wednesday (ENG) v Sperm Whale FC (NOR)
PSG v PSG - Paris St. Germain (FRA) v Partially Shaved Goats (GRE)
MUFC v MUFC - Manchester Utd (ENG) v Monkey University FC (MAL)
AZ v AZ - AZ Alkmaar (NED) v Anxious Zebras (BUL)
 
THE WAGER: 2-1 TFC (Gringo) (2011: 20-20 with 6 exact scores)
FUTURE HEADLINE:TFC MANHANDLE TFC
 
And now, for the last time in 2011, please stand and remove your spandex jumpsuit for the Panamanian National Anthem…



Now, please remain standing for Toronto’s National Anthem brought to you by CityTV and a time machine…



An exciting week indeed...

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