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Wednesday, September 26, 2012

AFTER 90: Reds in control - MLSE relocating Toronto FC to El Salvador

Big night for "Jamiroquai"

C.D. AGUILA VS. TORONTO
CONCACAF CHAMPIONS LEAGUE - GROUP 1

FIRST HALF:
1' - Despite having 93 different channels, Sportsnet can't find a space for kick-off without disturbing millions of Canadians on the edge of their seats for Boston Red Sox vs. Tampa Bay Rays baseball. They could have at least shown the Tea Men host the Rowdies.
3' - Baseball been berry, berry bad to us.
5' - Would watch match online but word just came through that El Salvador's computer is down.
10' - And we're on the television machine! First look at a Toronto FC line-up that would strike fear into the hearts of the bottom three teams in the NASL. Sportsnet forgets the internet exists and starts the game from kickoff giving this a strange Back to the Future feel.
8' (to the DeLorean!) - Ryan Johnson looking dangerous as he usually does... only in the CCL
16' - GOAL: Toronto - Quincy gives Aguila's keeper a coroner's report. Amarikwa's leaping header puts The Reds up early.
C.D. AGUILA 0 - TORONTO 1
17' - Genuine kudos to the three travelling supporters of TFC at the Estadio Barraza at a time when getting supporters to BMO Field is a challenge. Well done lads. Don't get kidnapped, MLSE will NOT pay for your release.
25' - C.D. Aguila's main shirt sponsor is "Mister Donut" which must anger Jim "Mr. Coffee" Brennan to no end.
30' - TFC's hodgepodge defence playing a strong line against Aguila's "ambitious" (aww bless) attackers.
33' - Aaron Maund breaks free and chooses to shoot rather than seek the very open man. His shot lands somewhere near Nicaragua.
38' - Literally dozens of home supporters on hand tonight. Was it a 10PM local start or was there a military junta?
40' - GOAL: Toronto - Tonight's captain Terry "Bear Feather" Dunfield taps in a solid low cross from Jamiroquai (as almost pronounced by FOX Soccer) to double the lead.
C.D. AGUILA 0 - TORONTO 2
45' - One-way traffic as the half closes with TFC fully in charge. That looks weird when typed.

HALFTIME: C.D. AGUILA 0 - TORONTO 2

SECOND HALF:
45' - And we're back live - or are we? Only Doc Brown knows for sure! Gigawatts!
46' - Scary start to the half as Luis Silva falls victim to a "very special" Central American tackle. Should have been a red card to Aguila's Henry "Kick of The Dead" Romero
54' - SUB: Eric Avila on for Luis Silva
55' - Darwin Bonilla leading a mini-evolution for Aguila's offence
57' - YELLOW CARD: Reggie Lambe
65' - Match footage will officially be lost before CONCACAF edits their "Best of Champions League" DVD
71' - Team who can't score only slightly bothering team who can't be bothered to score again.
75' - Ryan Johnson rattles the bar. If his CCL form leaves him, he will never score.
76' - SUB: Adrian Cann on for Dicoy Williams
81' - SUB: Andrew Wiedeman on for Reggie Lambe
83' - Andrew Wiedeman may actually be one of the best finishers in El Salvador's modern era.
85' - GOAL: Terry Dunfield crashes his second over the line and wins FIFA's "Least Brazilian Goal 2012" award
C.D. AGUILA 0 - TORONTO 3
89' - Broadcasters doing their best to draw in the mid-90's MTV crowd by continually making Amarikwa sound like "Jamiroquai" and C.D. Aguila vaguely sound like "C. Aguilera"
90' - Match draws to a close and no players lost in the pitch. Success!

FULL TIME: C.D. AGUILA 0 - TORONTO 3

PLAYER RATINGS: Freddy Hall  5.5 / Jeremy Hall 6 / Dicoy Williams 6 (Adrian Cann N/A) / Logan Emory 6.5 / Ashtone Morgan 6 / Reggie Lambe 5.5 (Andrew Wiedeman N/A) / Aaron Maund 6.5 / Terry Dunfield 7 / Luis Silva 5.5 (Eric Avila 5) / Quincy Amarikwa 7 / Ryan Johnson 5.5

THE YORKIES' TFC MAN OF THE MATCH: Quincy Amarikwa

THE BATH:
We will never take anything away from a win - we just want a little side-order of sanity with it. We don't want to hear any "hats of to the lads"; "Quincy Amarikwa is the best crosser in the modern era"; or, "we have turned a corner". No, TFC did what they very well should have in beating little more than a semi-pro team in front of a stadium where TFC's three away supporters made the most noise.

It was a win that needs to be expected from this team yet one where The Reds were (sometimes understandably) guilty of taking their foot off the gas. A solid win over an inferior opponent. Good. That's what you are supposed to do. Do that to Santos Laguna and we will happily listen to any platitudes you may have TFC.


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