Pickin' Ain't Eze

Too Eze...

Unlike Superman II, SuperDraft II was not an improvement on its predecessor. With a pool of Generation Kangaroos (A running shoe with a pouch!) players who failed to get drafted in the first two rounds and a complete lack of Terence Stamp - it was an expectedly bland afternoon.

We think it was carried live on PBS. Probably after that art guy with the white afro.

For their part in this increasingly useless exercise, Toronto FC drafted Kene "My Nickname Should Be Simple" Eze - a 6' foot 2 senior forward (university senior – not elderly) from Rutgers University. What can you say about a guy we will most likely never see after training camp? Good for you lad? High five?

Hmm, what to say to make this exciting... umm... Oh hey! Did you know that Kene Eze was once a finalist for the New Jersey Gatorade Player of the Year? BOOM! Also, did you know that Raivis Hscanovics was once a finalist for Riga Latvian State-Production Farms Beet Beverage Player of the Year? No? Well it filled out this paragraph nicely didn't it?

You can go now. I'm sure it won't be "hard" for you! LOLZ!

I meant "Eze"! Damn I hate the off-season.

SuperDraft 2014: The Quest for Pieces

Flipping picks can be tricky business



With his planet on the verge of destruction, the brave and selfless space politician Jor-El put his only Draft in a capsule and launched it into outer space. That Draft would travel through the galaxies (Not LA Galaxy) only to crash into a Philadelphia convention center where it lifted a car off of Don Garber or something. As Terence Stamp's General Zod would say if he had MLS season tickets: "Bring me this... Super... Draft!"

The theme of the 2014 SuperDraft seemed to be teams trading each other MLS funny money to move draft position. Toronto FC was no different, shuffling up to 10th spot after cha-chinging the pants off of Philadelphia Union. With the # 10 pick now in hand, The Reds opted for 22-year old centreback Nick Hagglund.

The Xavier senior is considered to be a blunt instrument kind of defender with decent size, speed, strength and sharp elbows. The most important scouting report you need however is that he looks like Ryan Nelsen's long-lost illegitimate Ohio love-child. Make your own conclusions. Pervs.

Moving on to the 2nd Round, famous for its Generation Birkenstock talent pool, TFC used the 5th pick (24th overall) on midfielder Daniel Lovitz from the not-quite-Ivy League Elon University. We could get excited about "I don't care! He's Lovitz!" chants and Jon Lovitz gags but seriously - we'll probably not get the chance.

Time to fly!
Super.
Get it?
Oh you're too good for that now?

"Reds roll their truckin' Convey, back cross the USA. CONVEY!"

"Get the truck outta here"

We barely had time to perfect our truck horn noise.

In what may be the precursor to a series of oncoming transactions, The Reds have shipped the rights to Bobby Convey along with a 2014 2nd Round SuperDraft pick to New York Red Bulls in exchange for the Metrostars' 2014 1st Round pick (15th overall) and a 2016 3rd Rounder which we will never remember.

While some, including the player himself, thought that a return to TFC in 2014 wasn't out of the question, it would seem as if Tim Bezbatchenko sees a different make-up for his future midfield. Hopefully the "replacements on the way" aren't of the Kevin Payne/Luis Silva variety but it does seem like a decent bit of business on T-Bez's part.

Even if Convey had been willing to come down from his $215K salary perch, his value for money would have been questionable on a team in (another) transition. Convey's style of play, while a valuable Band-Aid in 2013 may also have been a question to TFC management as they look to re-load with "their players".

Previously without a 1st Round pick in the 2014 draft - they would have had the glorious 3rd Overall if not for Paul Mariner's brilliant trade for Eric Hassli - the deal gives the club skin in the game in a draft class that Bezbatchenko is extremely familiar with. Can our favourite wonk find a diamond in the 15th overall rough? Not impossible but in the very least he has given himself more room to buy "his players".

Keep truckin' Tims.