(BEFORE) AFTER 90: Back to Los Futuros

Beats the crap out of a KIA!



TORONTO, WEDNESDAY 4:30PM ET...

Surely like many of you TFC supporters out there, we can think of a lot things we'd rather do tonight than watch the locals get kicked about by a bunch of Mexicans. Some quality napping, do next year's taxes, brush the dog's teeth - you know. With that, we thought we'd try a little science experiment and jump in our Mexican time machine-car (a Del Loreano) and go into... THE FUTURE! Six hours into the future no less so we can bring you tonight's post-match report... now! Gigawattos!
　
SANTOS LAGUNA VS. TORONTO
CONCACAF CHAMPIONS LEAGUE - GROUP 1
　
FIRST HALF:
1' - After escaping from a group of Libyan trialists in a Volkswagen Camper Van we got the Del Loreano going over 80 Burro Gallops per hour and ended up at Estadio Corona... later tonight!
2' - Santos Laguna pressing early with Herculez Gomez forcing a save by Freddy Hall
8' - In the stands we meet a six-hour-older and more Latino version of our friend Dr. Emmett "Doctoro" Marrón who warns us not to change anything or TFC 2013 could be badly damaged. As if!
10' - TFC withstanding major pressure from Santos' quick wingers
13' - YELLOW CARD: Richard Eckersley
15' - GOAL: Toronto - Reggie Lambe against the run of play slides a shocking goal past Oswaldo Sanchez
SANTOS LAGUNA 0 - TORONTO 1
17' - The crowd is agitated. Could be the scoreline - could be the lack of hoverboards available in Mexico
25' - GOAL: Santos Laguna evens it up as Juan Pablo Rodriguez takes a long distance shot which deflects off of the back of Jeremy Hall's head and crosses the line.
SANTOS LAGUNA 1 - TORONTO 1
37' - More crowd agitation as some Santos Laguna fans chase a lone TFC away supporter around the stadium. The Torontonian evades capture only to see the Santos supporters fall into a pitch-side truck full of manure
40' - YELLOW CARD: Terry Dunfield
45' - Controversy as Ryan Johnson seems to score a clear goal from distance only to have the referee blow the whistle to end the half. "OUTATIME"
　
HALFTIME: SANTOS LAGUNA 1 - TORONTO 1
　
46' - Festive crowd after Huey Lewis & The News finish their halftime show and play resumes.
48' SUB: Aaron Maund on for Ryan Johnson
50' - GOAL: Santos Laguna - Herculez Gomez strolls through a confused TFC defence and puts the Mexicans ahead.
SANTOS LAGUNA 2 - TORONTO 1
52' - GOAL: Santos Laguna - Gomez makes it two in two minutes as TFC barely had time to catch their breath. Long distance shot rebounds off of Freddy Hall's stomach and into Gomez' path.
SANTOS LAGUNA 3 - TORONTO 1
62' - Our Polaroid team picture suddenly shows Paul Mariner disappearing!
69' - YELLOW CARD: Luis Silva
70' - SUB: Eric Avila on for Quincy Amarikwa
77' - Some kid in the upper deck is playing a mariachi version of Chuck Berry songs
80' - GOAL: Santos Laguna - The hosts go up by three as Jeremy Hall scores an own goal after TFC's defence can't decide what to do with the ball.
SANTOS LAGUNA 4 - TORONTO 1
88' - A lightning storm is headed towards the stadium.
90'+ - "Doctoro" Marrón hangs a piñata from the upper deck of Estadio Corona which catches a lightning bolt and hurls our Del Loreano back to.... THE PRESENT! (Or whenever you read this)... oh and Toronto FC are eliminated.
　
FULL TIME: SANTOS LAGUNA 4 - TORONTO 1
　
PLAYER RATINGS: Freddy Hall 5 / Jeremy Hall 4 / Richard Eckersley 5.5 / Adrian Cann 5 / Ashtone Morgan 6 / Reggie Lambe 6 / Terry Dunfield 5.5 / Luis Silva 5 / Quincy Amarikwa 5 (Eric Avila 5.5) / Ryan Johnson 6 (Aaron Maund 4.5)
　
THE YORKIES' TFC MAN OF THE MATCH: Future Reggie Lambe
　
THE BATH:
So there you have it. Now you can go about your sleepy financial dog business tonight and not worry about watching "El Foregone Conclusion"! What will we do? Well somehow we ended up with a shiny black pick-up truck that we have to take up to the lake. Oh...and Paul Mariner has become a successful author.
　
If you don't believe in science... the other version of the post-match future will be linked here...

(Stupid TFC not respecting time and space! Now Biff will be the new TFC President!)　

SANTOS LAGUNA 1 - TORONTO 0

THE MATCHUP: On the ropes

Danny Koevermans' retirement plans are going well



SANTOS LAGUNA VS. TORONTO
CONCACAF CHAMPIONS LEAGUE - GROUP 1
　
ESTADIO CORONA - WEDNESDAY 8PM ET
TV: SPORTSNET ONE
　
THE KICKABOUT:
A Canadian side heading down to Latin America... in midweek... in a do-or-die situation. Nothing can go wrong now! While we don't expect an 8-1 Tegucigalping like those other Reds, not too many pesos are being bet on TFC in their final Champions League Group Stage match against the mighty (CONCACAF-mighty) Santos Laguna. Needing a 3-0 victory or better while playing some of the worst football in the club's history really only leads to one outcome - elimination.
　
No one is really all that shocked to be honest. A win in this group was always going to be tricky but if The Reds could have avoided being bullied by Santos Laguna at BMO Field earlier this year - it could have at least been interesting. It's impossible to say if Aron Winter could have done better in Champions League like his squad did last year but the safe bet is "no". Keeping the ball on the deck definitely helped in continental play but this squad wasn't (and isn't built for success) against the likes of their Mexican foes. In the end, tomorrow just marks another conclusion in the seemingly Neverending Story (Ah-a-ah! Ah-a-ah! Ah-a-ah!) of TFC 2012.
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME:
"Journey to the Centre of Sanders' Lagoon II: The Lagooning"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
SANTOS LAGUNA: Herculez Gomez, Juan Pablo Rodriguez, Oswaldo Sanchez
TORONTO: Eric Hassli, Reggie Lambe, Luis Silva
　
Since this match is pretty much "El Forgone Conclusion" we thought we'd offer TFC an option if they didn't think this whole football thing was worth pursuing. As they say "When in Rome, do as The Romans do. When in Mexico, become Mexican wrestlers." It's a phrase, ok. With that - a Lucha Libre card for our failed footballers and future luchadores!
　

LUCHA DICHIO PRESENTAR...

　

MATCH UNO

"RJ INCONSISTATO JR." VS. "ULTIMO PROSPECTO"

(Ryan Johnson)--------------------------- (Luis Silva)

　

MATCH DOS

"LA ERA MODERNA" VS. "EL GRINGO AFRO"

(Andrew Wiedeman)----------- (Logan Emory)

　

MATCH TRES - TAG TEAM ACCIÓN

"SENOR PLAN QUINQUENAL" & "SGT. PANTALONES CORTOS"

VS.

"PAPA TRIPLETICO" & "EL ROJO NEGLECTICO"

(Tom Anselmi & Paul Mariner)-- vs.-- (Milos Kocic & Eric Avila)

　

EL MAIN EVENTO

"GORDO NETHERLANDA" VS. "LA GINGER DEMON"

(Danny Koevermans) --------------(Richard Eckersley)

　

POST-MATCH HEADLINE: "HASTA LA VISTA CONCACAF"

And... since this match preview couldn't be further from a tactical football preview already... and since this season has been totally "fhqwhgads"... a video from our favourite Luchadore "Strong Bad"...

"I can haz Santoz?"

"Revenge!"

Dear teh Toronto FC's,

　
Do you want to know why you really lost to teh Santos Lagunaz?
　
Me. Ow.
　
That is right spaniel-lovers, that handsome devil who ran across the pitch last night was I - Suarez Soolsma! I have single-pawedly ruined any chance you have of progressing in teh Championz League and finally... (Please wait... must lick my nether regions...)
　
...Finally get revenge on you for disrespecting my human life-partner Little Nicky Soolsma.
　
We used to be friendz teh Toronto FC's. I even let Terry Dunfield scratch my belly. (Soft hands... a bit sweaty). But now... I would not uze BMO Field as a litter tray! Well, not intentionally.
　
Little Nicky is doing better now - not that you asked. I'd say purrrr-fect even.
　
GRP! GRP! GRP! GRP! BLEEECCCHH! Pardon me... hairball.
　
Meanwhile you are left with your bunch of dog-happy felinists. Enjoyz.
　
You have officially been Suarezed teh Toronto FC's.
　
Meow.
Suarez Soolsma
　
Kralingen-Crooswijk (Cat Flap)
Nederlandz

THE SOUTH STAND REPORT : Toronto v Santos Laguna... Or (upside down exclamation point here)VAMOS LOS ROJAS!

 

Hard to believe that I worked on this logo for 14 hours.

The Ex is still on. I genuinely fear for these events because it feels like a ridiculous money grab from the gate onward.  This is amusing because once you get to BMO, prices dramatically increase.

Pre-match music selection isn't good this early.  With all the anti-cussin' initiatives, you'd think these hypocrites wouldn't permit Mumford & Sons' lyric of  "I really fucked it up this time" blaring.

Weather is perfect for an upset... Or at least a draw, which is an upset. I'm calling for a squeaker of a finish, either a draw or eeking a 2-1 victory. @kzknowles is pro-Reds at 3-1. @philbot101 isn't as positive calling for 3-0 thrashing as is @theyorkies1812 says 2-1 loss.  @WakingtheRed plays it safe with a 1-1.

Onto the match.

Quote of the Match :

 It's Sounders Laguna!

~ @theyorkies1812 on our opposition wearing their away kit

15' - YELLOW - O'Dea gets booked for two-handing a defender while waiting for the corner to be delivered.  The other guy totally deserved it.

19' - Wiedeman has a long range attempt that just misses to the right of goal.  Helluva go there...

24' -  Ramirez crosses a dangerous ball low in front of Freddy Hall which finds Peralta who misses an absolute sitter and it skitters past the wide open net.  Bullet dodged.

30' - YELLOW - Dunfield for something.

Half-Time Mood : Getting out of that without a goal conceded, I'm gonna say relief.

45' - SUB - Hassli comes off for Amarikwa.

46' - Wiedeman has a second near miss of the game, just wide of the right post again.  He's getting closer.

49' - GOAL - Quintero gets past his marker as a ball comes over the top and from a tight angle, he blasts one past Freddy Hall, who did not look like he was expecting a shot.
ROBINS 0, MEXICELTOS 1

51' - Wiedeman turns a defender around and sends another shot just wide of the net, but Amarikwa manages to get a foot on it, only to skip around the post.  Unlucky.

69' - GOAL - Back clearance from Sanchez lands in front of Amarikwa who skips a ball past two defenders.  Heady stuff.

ROBINS 1, MEXICELTOS 1

84' - A black cat runs across the pitch just in front of the TFC goal.  Casual supporters and Groupon purchasers find something to cheer at which they understand.

90' - GOAL - Ugh.  Luduena does a give and go, then slides it past Hall.  Top class finishing.

ROBINS 1, MEXICELTOS 2

2 minutes of extra time

90+2' - GOAL - That's all folks.  Ramirez bags it in almost identical fashion to the previous goal.

ROBINS 1, MEXICELTOS 3

FULL TIME : Toronto 1, Santos Laguna 3

Man of the Match : Wow... Amarikwa gets it, not for the goal, but for being aggressive.  Felt that Ecks and O'Dea had very good games.

Goat of the Game : the f'ing cat.

Ref Rating : 2 out of 5.  If you think that refs are unbiased, watch some of the free kicks that Toronto dealt with where a Santos player stood a few feet in front of them without showing any sportsmanship to move into a suitable place.  Then watch the ref not do enough to stop the epidemic of ass-holery.

In all reality, Santos are dangerous.  The quality balls can come from everywhere.  Quick passing, there were a few times it looked like Toronto were chasing shadows... A curious advertisement behind the north end goal reads "GONHER" which could be anything. Hypotheses ranged from Mexican detective agency, STD treatments, a 'scottish waxing' product (as if that's a real thing), canned vegetables, dog food and electronics.  Apparently they are selling car parts... It has been brought to my attention that Wiedeman is lost playing behind the centre line.  I can see that.  Defensively, he's clueless.  Offensively, he was making runs, taking chances.  Kinda fun to watch.

An open letter to very select members of supporters groups (but not certainly all and you might not even belong to them but you were in the appropriate areas),

It is amusing to see how much flack we've received from singing, if you can call it singing, Bohemian Rhapsody.  The reasons we sing it are simple, it's fun, it's a tune we all know, it's lyrically appropriate when we're losing and it is different compared to the unofficial song book that has barely flirts with change in six seasons.

If you don't like to sing it, don't.  All stop.  You don't have to protest it.  You don't have to get our attention to get us to stop.  You don't have to express your $0.02 at us.  We're certainly not barking at you to join in with a megaphone.  We don't cast self-important downward glances at you if you don't.  Which is cool, because we don't really want to sing your songs anymore either.  Certainly not when they're playing frustratingly bad, or when they've just conceded their second goal, or when no one it trying.  It's difficult to sing a song about "loving a team" that is giving up right before you.  I certainly can't.  I sing when I become highly emotionally involved in a game.  Like in the 60th minute onward.  I sang.  A lot.

But I cannot sing a song about Danny Dichio who scored 14 goals in 66 games when we never had a song for former players Maicon Santos or Chad Barrett (both understandable), or current players like Ryan Johnson or Danny Koevermans, who has a strike rate at better than 1 goal per 2 games.  We had a song for DeRo... and THAT is a legend.  He scored a hat-trick once.  He took a mediocre team and a front office that went back on their word on his back and won games on his own.  He's not even on the wall of honour!

And all of those players have an equal or better strike rate than Dichio ever did.  So how about putting an effort into a song for the CURRENT squad. A different tune would be nice. I like Men Without Hats as much as the rest of the south stand, but there are other songs out there if you can believe it.

If the results on the pitch are getting stale, at least we can amuse ourselves in the stands.  Evolve.  Grow.  Change.  The songs are beyond stale.  Our little enclave have offered change.  We are responsible for the "There was a boy from Scarborough..." chant, the "La Marseillaise" song for Laurent Robert, and a few others that fell by the wayside when that player moved on.

So, if you don't like change and you feel the need to express disappointment or anger or resentment to someone trying to offer something else to the south end repertoire, I guess this is an apology for ruining your love of 'the same old shit'.

But we'll try again.  Promise.

Love,

The Yorkies

@ignirtoq can be followed if you're bored. He's not usually this frustrated with people. In fact, he's quite affable and had a little conversation with the woman who runs @TorontoWUFC Twitter account.  Mind you, he often gets stick for the ability to have random conversations with strangers everywhere. Sorry mom.

THE MATCHUP (with bonus STARTING 11!): All our huevos in uno basket

Poor Santos and his savage heart... so much passion!



Those of you who frequent this site... hello you three... know that Monday is reserved for our STARTING 11 feature but as there is an unusual Tuesday fixture this week it's "Buy None - Get Two Free" today. All of the STARTING 11 you love with a dose of THE MATCHUP you kind of enjoy with none of that pesky AFTER 90 you have to tolerate! Enjoy your BNGO!
　
TORONTO VS. SANTOS LAGUNA
CONCACAF CHAMPIONS LEAGUE - GROUP 1
　
BMO FIELD - TUESDAY 8PM ET
TV: SPORTSNET ONE
　
THE KICKABOUT:
Through no choosing (but definitely by performance) of their own, Toronto FC must now put all of their efforts into CONCACAF Champions League. With The Reds' annual boycott of MLS Playoffs still underway, the continental tournament is the only way the club can raise season ticket prices retain an ounce of respectability.
　
Of course this year's CCL makes it much harder to escape the group stage and to add insult to injury, our old foe Santos Laguna stands in our way. The Mexican powerhouse is about the closest thing Toronto has to a continental rival as it was the boys from Sanders' Lagoon who ousted TFC from the 2012 CCL semi-final. Much is being made that Paul Mariner rested a lot of his starters on the weekend in preparation for this match but TFC must be far better tactically to beat Santos. If The Reds think they can play like they did against Houston - despite Paul Mariner farcically calling it "the best the team had looked in a long time" (!) - they won't be stealing any last second equalizers.
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "Return to Sanders' Lagoon"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
TORONTO: Torsten Frings, Eric Hassli, Luis Silva
SANTOS LAGUNA: Herculez Gomez, Daniel Ludena, Juan Pablo Rodriguez
　
BONUS! THE STARTING 11: Disparaging names the Mexican press uses to refer to Toronto FC
　
It's no secret that this tournament is treated with the respect it deserves anywhere south of the Rio Grande. While it is gaining some traction in MLS cities, it has yet to garner the media's attention. In Mexico however, it makes headlines - and the newspapers aren't afraid to resort to a little name-calling...
　
11. "NAFTA-happy Butty munchers"
　
10. "Ungrateful Plata-droppers"
　
9. "Non-alcoholic Frozen Margaritas"
　
8. "El Gigante Frenchmen de los neck tattoos"
　
7. "Club America('s Hat)"
　
6. "Apertura-hating puck monkeys"
　
5. "CONCACAF's tall, awkward nerd"
　
4. "Lazy non-migrant workers"
　
3. "El Managerios Shorty Pants"
　
2. "Los Cinco Anos Planners"
　
1. "Major League Gringos"
　
POST-MATCH HEADLINE: "TFC DEFENCE IS SANTOS' LITTLE HELPER"
　
And... since we're confused by Tuesday fixtures, here - straight from Tijuana (Brass) - is the Santos Laguna anthem. Kind of like "You'll Never Walk Alone" just disco-ier... and brassy-er... and Alperty.

Hola! Know your 2012/2013 CCL Group Stage

Aron - sign us one of those 18's!

Yes, we may be sucking the Hostess Ding-Dong in MLS, but in Canada... still the big cheese boss! What about in CONCACAF you say? Well we are reigning semi-finalists we'll have you know! In fact, they enjoyed our friendly smiles and Reggie Lambes so much - they invited us back.

Earlier today in CONCACAF's squeaky-clean, corruption-free, super-secret voodoo bunker buried 58 metres below Manhattan, the federation held the draw for the Group Stages of the 2012/2013 Champions League just to see where Toronto FC would get to visit on their third trip south of two borders. Únase a nosotros en el descubrimiento!

　

C.D. AGUILA
Estadio Juan Francisco Barrazza
San Miguel, El Salvador
　
While we are very, very angry that Toronto did not draw a Panamanian club, thus denying us reason to play Van Halen's "Panama" - its fun to play a club we have yet to meet. A muggy summertime trip to Central America beckons The Reds as they head to El Salvador - which translated into English means: "The Salvador". After flying to the capital San Salvador (in English: "Son of Salvador") the club will travel by candlelight aboard Mayan watercraft (we assume) 138km to the east and the town of Son of Miguel - or San Miguel in El Salvadorianese. There they will be met by the 1976 CONCACAF Champions (I bet El Salvadorianese disco was boss) C.D. Aguila in the 10,000 capacity Juan Francisco Barrazza Stadium and say goodbye to their ankle bones.
　
Aguila are a fascinatingly flamboyant team who wear kits that were obviously stolen from a cargo ship supplying the Dutch National squad before the 1988 Euros. Their club badge is an unholy union of all things Dutch, German, Central American and possibly The Stonecutters. However, anytime you get to play a club that trots out players named Glauber, Mardoqueo, Isidro, Deris and... umm...Shawn - it's bound to be a larf.
　
PLAYER TERRY DUNFIELD NEEDS TO TACKLE: Nicolas Munoz
FAVOURITE PLAYER TO YELL WITH RIDICULOUS ACCENT:
Benji Villalobos!
　
CELEBRITY SUPPORTERS:
San Miguel: Patron Saint of Cerveza / Disco enthusiast
San Salvador: Patron Saint of Divots / Arch-rival of Miguel
Juan Francisco Barrazza: Futbol ghost / "The El Salvadorian Treat"
　
LIKELY TABLOID PUN HEADLINE:
"REDS DOWN AFTER TWO SHOTS FROM AGUILA"
　
CHIP BUTTY EQUIVALENT:
"San'wich Salvador"

Best. Dutch-Germanic-Latino badge. Ever.

CLUB SANTOS LAGUNA
Jesús Cristo, didn't we just finish with this lot? Once again Toronto must travel to Torreon, Mexico to face "Los Guerreros" or as they are known on the streets - Santos Laguna. Seriously CONCACAF - no Panamanian team (sorry David Lee Roth) but we get these hombres again?
　
The Reds played valiantly against the perennial Mexican powerhouse for 3/4 of their CCL semi-final this past April but will have to aim for a win at home if they want a chance to win Group A and avoid becoming "Santos' Little Helper". In other news, we don't have to try very hard at punnage as the April gags like "The Creature from Santos Laguna" and "Colonel Sanders' Lagoon" are still oven-fresh. We're lazy - sue us.
　
PLAYER TERRY DUNFIELD NEEDS TO TACKLE: Herculez Gomez
FAVOURITE PLAYER TO YELL WITH RIDICULOUS ACCENT:

Jorge Ivan Estrada!
　
CELEBRITY SUPPORTERS:
Corona Beer Drinkers: Drunkards / Style mongers on a budget
Speedy Gonzales: Cartoon mouse / Powerful Mexican politician
Mexican Colonel Sanders: Chicken pedlar / All-white sombrero owner
　
LIKELY TABLOID PUN HEADLINE:
"SANTOS RUINS REDS' CHRISTMAS"
　
CHIP BUTTY EQUIVALENT:
"Cerveza Hombre"

A classic. From April 2012.

Hey... you know, if you keep going south after El Salvador you'll eventually reach a little place called...

THE SOUTH COUCH REPORT : Santos Laguna v. Toronto... or Do you remember that Cup run in 2012?

What a damn ride.  With every step after Dallas, "impossible" kept getting downgraded a little bit further.  And for 45 minutes, our dearest, at-times-dysfunctional, Robins made those of us who were watching that the world was ours for the taking.

Prediction : survive.  That's all.

No notes were taken during the match.  Too much excitement to remember to write things.

Onto the match:

15' - GOAL - OMGPLATA!!!!

31' - GOAL - Herculez Gomez

43' - GOAL - PLATA!!!

45' - GOAL - Herculez Gomez

Burrito Bhoys 2, Robins 2

Half-time mood : My mind is blown.  My heart is racing.  My nerves are almost shot.  Whatever you think my mood is, you're probably right and probably a doctor.

54' - Gomez is left alone from a corner and shanks a perfect opportunity for bagging his hat trick.

55' - PENALTY - Suarez was attacking on the inside of the penalty area threatening, but causing no immanent danger.  deGoo decides to run him down, tripping him up from behind without an attempt to get the ball.

56' - GOAL - Rodriguez converts.

Burrito Bhoys 3, Robins 2

59' - SUB - Dunfield comes off for the returning Stinson.  Dunfield took a few knocks during the game so not a bad substitute.

63' - PENALTY - Oh no... Aceval goes for a diving header to clear the ball from the box and heads it down to the ground, bouncing to his flailing arm.  A legit call, but a bit eye-rolling.

64' - GOAL - Rodriguez converts.  Again.

Burrito Bhoys 4, Robins 2

65' - SUB - Plata makes way for Lambe.  A little confusing as Plata was a bit of a terror for the Santos back line for much of the match.

66' - GOAL - Peralta scores.

Burrito Bhoys 5, Robins 2

69' - SUB - Aceval makes way for the returning Henry.  If Toronto are going to fight this to the bitter end, a change at the back was necessary.

3 minutes of extra time

90+2' - GOAL - Luduena seals the deal.

FULL TIME - Santos Laguna 6, Toronto 2

Man of the Match : Plata.  Why not.

Goat of the Game : I'm going with deGoo and here's why : Your captain should never ever do such a garbage tackle in your own penalty area when you're in the second leg of a tournament that you're a sniff away from the final.  That felt like the catalyst for the change in fortunes and really undid the hard work of the other ten players on the side up until that point.  Call change or not, that call being changed would have never had happened had the captain opted to think it through.

Ref Rating : 4 out of 5. The question of the ref calling for a corner and the linesman overturning it to a penalty is troublesome.  Didn't think that could happen, but I am not a ref.

Kocic 7, Harden 6.5, Aceval 6 [Henry 6.5], Eckersley 7.5, Morgan 7, Dunfield 6 [Stinson 6], deGoo 5.5, Silva 6, Johnson 6.5, Plata 8.5 [Lambe N/A], Soolsma 8

Now that the nerves have settled, it is depressing to think that though Toronto were, on paper and statistically, out of their element, that they were so close to the final.  35 minutes close.  The thing to truly be taken away from the disappointing result is that this side is not far away at all from being a genuine threat in MLS.  Perhaps a signing or two?  Perhaps some more time to develop?  It would be challenging to think of anything short of "bright future ahead" for Winter and his side.

The MLS season now officially starts this weekend against the dreaded Cheese Makers of Montreal.  We'll see you then.

THE MATCHUP: The Miracle Workers

SANTOS LAGUNA vs TORONTO
CONCACAF CHAMPIONS LEAGUE - 2ND LEG

Estadio Corona, Torreon - 8pm ET

THE KICKABOUT:
Well, here's what you need to know.  Santos came here last week and tried to play their game, by slowing the pace and rolling around on the ground looking for a shred of respect. The plan backfired when they didn't get the respect they apparently felt was deserved and were continuously run over during the course of the night. The team tactic of "no we're not kicking it out to touch every time your player goes to ground" was firmly in place and sadly weren't rewarded with a result for their fair play.  Now Toronto gets to go to hostile territory and hope the tactics which worked so well in the first round can carry them for the following 90 minutes.

MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "Battle of the Burrito-Butty"

PLAYERS TO WATCH:
TORONTO : Reggie Lambe, Ryan Johnson, Milos Kocic
SANTOS LAGUNA: Herculez Gomez, Oswaldo Sanchez, Daniel Luduena

THE ODDS:
- Toronto players getting "bagged" by the locals : EVEN
- Toronto players getting revenge by throwing the supporters Nick Garcia : 15-1
- Half-time brawl with run ins from Rick Martel and Tito Santana : 75-1

WHO ARE YA?
Apparently the drama of the first leg has lit the fire of the local side, offering deep discounts on tickets and commemorative empty urine bags for every 2 tickets purchased.  Santos Laguna has had rather the fortress on home turf where they've won the last 6 in all competitions.  Nothing is easy, but leave it to Toronto to take the difficult route.

POST MATCH HEADLINE:  "¡Me pellizco, que estoy soñando!" (Pinch me, I'm dreaming!)

The usual guy is on holidays so I just want to do his work justice.

THE SOUTH STAND REPORT: Toronto v Santos Laguna... Or the economics of a miracle!

ahhhhh... much better

At least it isn't raining.  If I can take but one thing away from this match is the distinct lack of precipitation.

Its Champions League, and we're playing a side that 98% had to wikipedia to discover "hey, they look like Celtic/Sporting Lisbon/Yeovil Town". The Mexicelticans come in with plenty of mystery, and none of it good.  Some key players are out with injuries and suspensions, and I'd look them up if I were a journalist... And I'm not about to insult journalists.

Postulating over something nice to say, if there is a miracle team in MLS, its our beloved Robins.  Toronto has done the impossible statistically unlikely on more than one occasion. What's one more go-around on that carousel, eh?  C'mawn your obins!!!


Quote of the Match:

Why so negative?  You should always have a positive outlook!

~ Dom, being cheery in cold stupid weather in a difficult match ahead

Predictions weren't good, 2-0, 3-0, 4-1, 4-0 all for Santos Laguna and one crazy bastard went for 2-0 for the home side.

It was very cold and it made it difficult to want to write.  Forgive the brevity.

9' - In an early free kick attempt, Koevermans slots a low ball past the wall, but easily gobbled up by Oswald Sanchez.

18' - It starts raining.  Stick it up your arse Weather Network...

31 - GOAL - Someone for Laguna Santos did something.  Didn't see it, couldn't see the replay.  Doesn't matter.

Robins 0, Mexicelticans 1

36 - YELLOW - Koevermans gets a booking for, what I can only assume, taking a free kick too early?

38 - GOAL - OMG! Free kick just outside the box and Aceval curls a pretty ball around the wall and past the sprawling Sanchez.

Robins 1, Mexicelticans 1

42 - Pinball in the Laguna Santos end results in the ball cleared off the line by a defender.  Yes, Toronto is for real.

Half-Time mood : Delerious

49 - SUB - Aceval for Maund.  We can only assume it was an injury thing as it appeared that Aceval headed right for the changeroom under the auspices of a trainer.

72 - SUB - Soolsma for Plata.  A tactical switch, as Soolsma received a nice round of applause for his efforts.  You had to see it to believe it.

78 - Eckersley and some Santos player collide over the ball, which Ecks gets the ball, but the Santos player kicks back studs up at Ecks and he goes down.  That player gets a red as he's rolling around like a damn fool.  The ref is waving for first aid WITH THE RED CARD IN HAND LOOKING LIKE HE'S BOOKED HALF THE PITCH!!!  Rather comical.

5 minutes of extra time

Full Time : Toronto 1, Santos Laguna 1

Shortly after the whistle, absolute mayhem breaks loose.  Morgan is holding his head and everyone is running into the middle of the pitch to join the fracas.  Someone else on Santos Laguna gets a straight red.

What a fantastic game.  Seriously.  Just brilliant.  The tragedy was Toronto DESERVED a 3-1 victory.

Man of the Match : Reggie Lambe.  He went after everyone, he beat defenders, distributed the ball, had a few attempts and played hard.  Honourable mentions to Dunfield and Soolsma.

Goat of the Game : (Ty Harden [delete this name from template if it isn't him]) Toronto played exquisitely.  The goats of the game go to the majority of the Laguna Santos side who did the whole dive-roll around manouver.

Ref Rating : 4 out of 5.  The ref didn't fall for Laguna Santos diving shenanigans but he could've handed out a few more yellows, if nothing more than for unsportsmanslike conduct.

Wow.  Seriously, wow.  I am convinced that last season, we had a fake Soolsma and this season, the real identical twin Soolsma replaced him.  He turned defenders inside out all night.  It's like Laguna Santos only watched OLD tapes of him... Maund.  Wow.  I get why Winter has been "throwing him to the wolves" in some situations as he takes on attackers without fear... Koevermans was actually running back to go at the defenders with the ball... seriously, screw you weather network... There is something to be said with the south end is in full voice all on the same page, watching and reacting to the game.  It's brilliant... I can't say enough about the side tonight.  They looked amazing and I could easily write a line about each of them and a line for Winter's ability to get them up for the match after the humiliation on Saturday.

Dear TFC Marketing people,

Please exploit every visit from a team in the champions league by offering a commemorative scarf that's half TFC, half the opposition with the date and competition.  If you made one for every game TFC has participated in in the Champions League, I'd own 8 different scarves, much to my girlfriend's disappointment and at $20 a pop, that's $160 by my math.

Something to think about.
Yours in footie,

The Yorkies

Kocic 7, Eckersley 7.5, Harden 9.5 (which is like a 7 really), Aceval 7 [Maund 7.5], Morgan 7.5, Lambe 8.5, deGoo 7.5, Dunfield 8, Soolsma 7.5 [Plata 7], Koevermans 7,  Johnson 7

THE MATCHUP: Creatures from the Santos Laguna

"The seas were rough in Sanders' Lagoon"

TORONTO VS. SANTOS LAGUNA

CONCACAF CHAMPIONS LEAGUE SEMIFINAL - 1ST LEG
　
BMO FIELD - WEDNESDAY 8PM ET
　
THE KICKABOUT:
Many said we'd never make it out of The NutCan. They said the same thing about the CCL preliminary. The Group Stage was no hope with the likes of PUMAS and FC Dallas. Then, two legs against "American Super Club" LA Galaxy? Not a chance in Beckham's manties. But, here we are, with history already made as the most successful Canadian team in continental play, ready for the next "impossible" hurdle. Can the miracles continue? A very good Santos Laguna side stand in the way of the CCL Finals and will aim to do to TFC what they did to Seattle. Aron Winter will have to pull the tactical rabbit from the hat twice and while it will likely be TFC's toughest two-match series ever - ask Los Angeles about looking past The Reds.
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME:
"The Biggest Match Ever III: Journey to Sanders' Lagoon"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
TORONTO: Ryan Johnson, Danny Koevermans, Nick Soolsma
SANTOS LAGUNA: Herculez Gomez, Juan Pablo Rodriguez, Oswaldo Sanchez
　
THE ODDS:
- North American media already planning Santos Laguna's parade route: 5-1
- Drunken Glasgow Rangers supporters confusing Santos with their hoop-wearing cousins Celtic - confusing Mexicans with sectarian chants: 10-1
- Media interviewing Bob de Klerk just to hear him say "Shantosh Lugoona" : 40-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
Mexican power club Santos Laguna were born of humble beginnings - inadvertently founded in 1977 by Hamish Sanders, a Glaswegian who was trying to open Torreon, Mexico's first Kentucky Fried Chicken store. Sanders (no relation to the Colonel) had just plugged in the deep fat fryer when his entire shop started sinking into a previously uncharted marsh land. His fast food dream was shattered but before he departed Mexico for good, he left local children a few old Celtic kits and a congealed ball of potato salad to kick around. The escaped chicken fat solidified the marsh over the years and the Hoops-wearing locals formed a club named after the area known as "Sanders' Lagoon" or "Santos Laguna" in the local dialect.
　
POST-MATCH HEADLINE: "REDS FEELING BLUE VS. LAGUNA"