Young Reds gettin' Hammerheaded

Sup?

 

We always think of TFC as more of a fat halibut than a hammerhead but some of The Reds' youngsters will soon be swimming with "The Sharks". No, it's not a terrible halftime promo for the Ripley's Aquarium ("Who can do the best monkfish accent guys?") but rather a partnership with Wilmington Hammerheads FC of USL pro.

This is a positive and absolutely necessary affiliation which will see a minimum of four TFC youngsters loaned out to Wilmington this season. The Reds have a crop of young players who will not see important minutes in 2014 and the potential for them to get first team football could be a great benefit to their development.

With the MLS Reserve league being a mish-mash and the proposed Hamilton NASL club being of equal hodgepodgery at the moment, the one-year deal suits TFC well. It is too early to say who will be spending 2014 in North Carolina but the likes of Emery Welshman, Manny Aparicio, Jordan Hamilton and Nick Hagglund may want to get their waterwings inflated.

 

Sup?

Toronto FC signs Richter, Earthquake-related puns to be made

All bundled up for the overstated Canadian cold... brrrrrrrrrr...

Y-014B - The Yorkies Toronto FC new signing form

Name : Ryan Richter

Club : Charleston Battery

College : La Salle University

Years as a pro : 2

Acquired via : ☐ Trade / ☐ Free Agent / ☑ Waivers / ☐ Coerced out of retirement

Because of interest : □ Montreal signed him / ☐ Stolen from Montreal / ☑ none of the above

Say something nice: Ryan Richter has been biding his time for his breakout move, and this could be it.  A former 5th overall pick of Philadelphia, Richter has been on multiple trials with DC yet couldn’t earn a contract.  With a successful stint with the USL-Pro’s Charleston Battery helping them to a championship, Richter has done enough to impress Nelsen.  I’m sure ex-TFC midfielder, and now former Charleston teammate, Amadou Sanyang (remember him?) will be able to impart some wisdom to Richter regarding the city’s best burrito and craft beer.

If he is half as successful at the wing defender/winger roles that he’s used to, he can be a very valuable tool from the bench - not as a substitute due to injury or poor play, but as a change in strategy.

Adjectives checklist:

☑ Versatile

☐ Creative

☐ Tough

☐ Intelligent

☐ Athletic

☐ Anchor

Overall description:

☐ Greatest [attribute] of the modern era

☐ Experienced [position]

☐ Brings plenty of experience

☑ Long career ahead of him

☐ Highly rated goal poacher

☑ Provides different options from what club currently has

Reason for signing:

☐ Desperate acquisition

☐ Fill the salary cap

☐ Pressure from supporters

☑ Depth

☐ Stop-gap signing until [injured player] returns

☐ Glamour designated player signing for marketing purposes

Nonsensical comedic video tie-in: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDi--BYtr24  

@ignirtoq is filling in for the usual news person. He would've had this up earlier, but had no idea where the form was placed. Note to self: look under "Forms" next time.

LETTERS FROM CAMP: Kiwis, Barracudas and Platitas, oh my!

Well that's a Sticky Wicket...



NILSIN? PRISINT. DIFINDERS? HAPPY.
Not only are TFC trumpeting the fact that they have "solved" the Caramilk Secret their seven-year defensive woes but they are apparently a blissfully happy bunch too! It seems like supporters weren't the only ones doing a bit of hand-wringing over new manager Ryan Nelsen's protracted arrival with Darren O'Dea admitting "Certainly it was something I was concerned with when he was first appointed," . However, with Nelsen's February 1st arrival on the back of a flock of kiwis (say unconfirmed sources) now confirmed, it seems like the defensive "gang" including O'Dea, Richard Eckersley and newcomer Danny Califf are a delighted bunch of bros. Now if we could just sign two cheery midfielders and a couple of gleeful strikers we could all share in the joy.
　
YOU GOT RESERVED
The long rumoured cuddle party between MLS and USL Pro (the pseudo-North American but not really in Canada 3rd Tier league) has been confirmed. In a perestroika-like handshake (less politburos, more City Islanders) the MLS will blend its Reserve Team schedule with the existing USL Pro division in a mosaic-like interleague kickathon. As part of the long-term cooperation, which has advantages for both parties, some of the 14 USL Pro clubs will be "affiliated" with MLS clubs which will see both player and corporate sharesies. We are really, really hoping that TFC can somehow get their paws on an affiliation with Antigua Barracuda FC. They play in Sticky Wicket Stadium. No other explanation needed. Fine...S.D. "Special Delivery" Jones. You happy now?
　
THEY WILL LOAN OUR "SILVER" - OH YEEE-AH?
An unusual tidbit was making the rumour rounds this morning and it concerns our tiny orphan Joao "Los Webster" Plata. Whispers from the Holy Mormon Kingdom of Utah claim that there is talk of Real Salt Lake loaning Plata from Toronto on a year-long agreement. As stated in the article, the original source of the rumour is most likely Plata's own agent so you are probably best to take it with the biggest grain of salt you can find. If only there was some kind of Salt Lake for such an occasion. Inter-MLS loans are practically unheard of so the most likely scenario is that a desperate agent is trying to get people north of the Rio Grande remembering that Plata exists. Unwanted at TFC and by LDU Quito by most accounts, "Los Webster" may be all out of Popadopolises.

Did someone order a "Special Delivery"?