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Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Know your 2011 MLS Eastern Conference

East coast flava! Oh, and Houston

Wow, you are an impatient lot! Wasn’t the Western Conference (posted below) good enough for you? Yeah, guess not. I mean - what’s with that half of North America anyways? Ocean, mountain, deserts, prairie heartlands. Jeez - pick a geology and stick with it. Show-offs.
 
Anyhoo, as promised to our loyal Yorkiemaniacs, here is the second half of the “Know Your MLS 2011” preview - The Eastern Conference! That’s right west - you’re trippin’ on E now! We gots us an Atlantic seaboard, we get wacky with the snow, silly accents up the wazoo and just to mess you up we’re throwing in some French people next year! What, what! East coast! Biggie would be so proud… if he liked football.
 
CHICAGO FIRE - Toyota Park
MANAGER/ NEXT MANAGER:
Carlos de los Cabos / Los Lobos
NICKNAME/ OUR NICKNAME: La Maquina Roja / Chicago Long Sox
SHIRT SPONSOR/ NEXT SPONSOR: None / Pizzeria Uno Deep Dish
PLAYER WE'D STEAL: Marco Pappa
WELL KNOWN SUPPORTERS: Scottie Pippen, The One-Man Gang, Random Belushi
EXPERT PREDICTION/ OUR PREDICTION: Out of playoffs / Calling Cuauhtémoc Blanco... leaving message
 
COLUMBUS CREW - Crew Stadium
MANAGER/ NEXT MANAGER:
Robert Warzycha / Crew Cat
NICKNAME/ OUR NICKNAME: The Crew / The Yellow Flubmarine
SHIRT SPONSOR/ NEXT SPONSOR: None / French's Mustard
PLAYER WE'D STEAL: Andy Iro
WELL KNOWN SUPPORTERS: Right Said Fred fans, Canary enthusiasts, Xenophobes
EXPERT PREDICTION/ OUR PREDICTION: Out of playoffs / Still a thorn in our side
 
DC UNITED - RFK Stadium
MANAGER/ NEXT MANAGER:
Ben Olsen / Barack Obama
NICKNAME/ OUR NICKNAME: Black and Red / The Beetles
SHIRT SPONSOR/ NEXT SPONSOR: Volkswagen / Lada
PLAYER WE'D STEAL: Charlie Davies
WELL KNOWN SUPPORTERS: Democrats, Huge stadium enthusiasts, Hristo Stoichkov
EXPERT PREDICTION/ OUR PREDICTION: Wildcard contender / Still looking for a new stadium within 800 miles
 
HOUSTON DYNAMO - Robertson Stadium
MANAGER/ NEXT MANAGER:
Dominic Kinnear/ Oscar de la Hoya
NICKNAME/ OUR NICKNAME: Orange Crush / La Fanta
SHIRT SPONSOR/ NEXT SPONSOR: Greenstar Recycling / Those orange Glad Garbage Bags
PLAYER WE'D STEAL: Brian Ching
WELL KNOWN SUPPORTERS: Astronauts, Warren moon, People “having a problem”
EXPERT PREDICTION/ OUR PREDICTION: Wildcard contender / Being seen for miles
 
NEW ENGLAND REVOLUTION - Gillette Stadium
MANAGER/ NEXT MANAGER:
Steve Nicol / Paul Mariner
NICKNAME/ OUR NICKNAME: Revs / The Boston Ruins
SHIRT SPONSOR/ NEXT SPONSOR: None / Umm… Gillette?
PLAYER WE'D STEAL: Shalrie Joseph
WELL KNOWN SUPPORTERS: The Irish, Various Wahlbergs, the sisters in “The Fighter”
EXPERT PREDICTION/ OUR PREDICTION: Wildcard contender / Being called “wicked awesome”
 
NEW YORK RED BULLS - Red Bull Arena
MANAGER/ NEXT MANAGER:
Hans Backe / Eric Cantona
NICKNAME/ OUR NICKNAME: Red Bulls / Energie Jersey
SHIRT SPONSOR/ NEXT SPONSOR: Red Bull / Tab Cola
PLAYER WE'D STEAL: Rafael Marquez
WELL KNOWN SUPPORTERS: Jersey Shore’s cast, American Arsenal supporters, Non-Cosmos fans
EXPERT PREDICTION/ OUR PREDICTION: Title contender / Half-filling league’s best stadium
 
PHILADELPHIA UNION - PPL Park
MANAGER/ NEXT MANAGER:
Piotr Nowak / Rocky’s Uncle Paulie
NICKNAME/ OUR NICKNAME: Zolos / Onions
SHIRT SPONSOR/ NEXT SPONSOR: Bimbo / Why mess with that?
PLAYER WE'D STEAL: Faryd Mondragon
WELL KNOWN SUPPORTERS: The robot from Rocky IV, DJ Jazzy Jeff, Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids
EXPERT PREDICTION/ OUR PREDICTION: Out of playoffs / Trying to be the Millwall of MLS
 
SPORTING KANSAS CITY - Livestrong Sporting Park
MANAGER/ NEXT MANAGER:
Peter Vermes / Preki-Mo
NICKNAME/ OUR NICKNAME: Sporting / Kansaslautern
SHIRT SPONSOR/ NEXT SPONSOR: None / KFC
PLAYER WE'D STEAL: Omar Bravo
WELL KNOWN SUPPORTERS: Amateur wizards, Tornado chasers, Little dogs too
EXPERT PREDICTION/ OUR PREDICTION: Out of playoffs / Telling people they’re Portuguese
 
TORONTO FC - BMO Field
MANAGER/ NEXT MANAGER:
Aron Winter / Mr. Klinsmann... line 1 NICKNAME/ OUR NICKNAME: The Reds / Der Oranje
SHIRT SPONSOR/ NEXT SPONSOR: BMO / Rogers (See Vancouver Whitecaps below)
PLAYER WE'D STEAL: Bitchy The Hawk
WELL KNOWN SUPPORTERS: Gluttons for punishment, Extreme weather survivalists, Butty connoisseurs
EXPERT PREDICTION/ OUR PREDICTION: Bottom of league / Heading for Year 6 of 5 Year Plan

5 comments:

  1. Wow, appreciate the amount of work that goes into these Tidbits fro the Yorkies.

    Great sarcasm.

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  2. TFC
    For player we'd steal: Alen Stevanovic (co-owned by Torino and Inter).

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  3. @ Anon 11:20 - Thanks for the appreciation and thanks for visiting. It's only worth the time because of our awesome readers.

    Cheers!

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  4. KFC - that's gold, Jerry!

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  5. I found this article very helpful to me ...thanks for such a good work

    ReplyDelete