AFTER 90: Turtles v Pumas

"Oooh, we don't love turtling..."



THE BUZZ:
A surprisingly festive atmosphere despite a small crowd at BMO Field as the number of Pumas supporters in attendance was well in the hundreds. Giant golden kitty cat faces everywhere - Nick Soolsma must have been in heaven. Actually, it was quite possibly the largest ever away support number at a TFC match - despite the "away" supporters all having 416 phone numbers. Fans of both Los Rojas and Los Gatos may have been expecting another romp for the Mexicans after their 4-0 trouncing of Toronto in Mexico City but with TFC facing an end to their 2011 competitions, they would have to man-up. It was 2011 or bust as the undermanned Reds took to the pitch.
　
FIRST HALF:
20' - YELLOW CARD :  Matt Stinson
35' - GOAL: Toronto - Peri Marosevic
TORONTO FC 1 - PUMAS UNAM 0
　
FIRST HALF HIGHLIGHT: Koevermans creating a goal out of nothing.
FIRST HALF LOWLIGHT: Waiting 15 minutes for TFC to start playing
　
HALFTIME: TORONTO FC 1 - PUMAS UNAM 0
　
SECOND HALF:
45' - SUB: Doneil Henry for Danny Koevermans
49' - GOAL: Pumas UNAM - Marco Palacios
TORONTO FC 1 - PUMAS UNAM 1
65' - SUB: Javier Martina for Nick Soolsma
75' - SUB: Matt Gold for Richard Eckersley
90'+ - YELLOW CARD:  Ashtone Morgan
　
SECOND HALF HIGHLIGHT: Not giving up 4 goals.
SECOND HALF LOWLIGHT: Seeing your team play frightened on their home pitch.
　
FULL TIME: TORONTO FC 1 - PUMAS UNAM 1
　
THE MOOD:
For the first time since he took charge of TFC, we are openly critical of Aron Winter tonight. We never realized that his "system" included good old turtling. The Reds went into the half with a lead, and without Pumas being able to fully control the match, yet the decision was made to take off The Reds' only reliable offensive threat in exchange for a fifth defender - and an academy product at that.

Sometimes bunkering down with a lead against superior opposition is okay - possibly with a 2 goal lead with 20 minutes remaining. Inviting one of the region's best clubs to a 45 minute long shooting gallery is just plain uninspired, weak, and when only 3 points will truly do - unacceptable. To play that kind of "catenaccio" football you have to be sound in defence with solid ball skills. Considering the majority of TFC's defenders look like giraffes with seizures when the ball is at their feet, this was never going to end well. After a long season, it is disappointing that the fruits of Winter's "system" looked a lot like Preki's "system" from a year ago. Sadly, it looks as if Toronto’s Champions League hopes have gone the same route as well.

The match left us feeling: like playing "catenaccio" with our season tickets
　
PLAYER RATINGS: Milos Kocic 6.5 / Richard Eckersley 6.5 (Matt Gold - ) / Andy Iro 5 / Ty Harden 4.5 / Ashtone Morgan 6 / Julian de Guzman 6.5 / Matt Stinson 5.5 / Peri Marosevic 7 / Nick Soolsma 6 (Javier Martina 5.5 ) / Danny Koevermans 6.5 (Doneil Henry 6) / Ryan Johnson 5.5
　
THE YORKIES' TFC MAN OF THE MATCH: Julian de Guzman
TALKING POINT: Where did Preki get that Aron Winter costume? Discuss.

THE MATCHUP: "2011 or Bust" as The Reds try to tame Los Gatos

Frings: Suspended due to impaling with foot



TORONTO FC (3rd) VS. PUMAS UNAM (1st)
CONCACAF CHAMPIONS LEAGUE - GROUP C
　
BMO FIELD - TUESDAY 8PM ET
TV: SETANTA CANADA
　
THE KICKABOUT:
Many are saying Aron Winter gambled and lost in playing, and tiring, his 1st Team against Chivas USA on Saturday. There was a split amongst fans, some who favoured resting the team for this season-breaking tilt with Pumas with others wanting to "compete" at all costs. Of course, TFC couldn't have competed out of a paper bag at Chivas and now wearily face one of CONCACAF's best clubs in a match that could very well end all 2011 competitions. With talisman Torsten Frings out on suspension and Pumas once again playing their best team, The Reds are decided underdogs in a match where only 3 point will suffice. Fairly or not, a loss will be placed at Winter's feet. Oh well, at least TFC okayed the match to be shown on Setanta - so no one outside of the 8,000 at BMO (to be announced as 18,500 by MLSE) will see TFC's potential whimpering end to 2011.
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "The Cat Comeback"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
TORONTO FC: Julian de Guzman, Stefan Frei, Ryan Johnson
PUMAS UNAM: Martin Bravo, Juan Francisco Palencia, Dario Veron
　
THE ODDS:
- A loud "We Told Ya So" chant aimed at Aron Winter in 2nd Half: 5-1
- Literally dozens watching at home on Setanta: 10-1
- TFC trying to compete with Pumas' flamboyant kit by putting giant face of "Bitchy The Hawk" on front of shirt: 50-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
Those who follow our highly scientific research know that the "UNAM" in Pumas UNAM's name refers to the Mexico City University that they play out of and are controlled by. When Toronto was exploring bringing a MLS club to town back in 2005 they originally planned to follow this model. The first choice was Varsity Stadium where the team would have been called "Beavers UOT" with the second choice being a stadium on York University's campus with the club being named "Squirrels YU". Rejected was an owl-themed club on Ryerson's campus named "Whoo RU".
　
THE WAGER: 1-2 Pumas (2011: 22-20 with 6 exact scores)
FUTURE HEADLINE: "2011 ENDS IN MEXICAN STANDOFF"

THE STARTING 11: Pumas' hotel demands

The most interesting team in Mexico City



Some may say that being a CONCACAF super club is akin to being the tallest midget. To those negative nelly's we say... yeah, you're probably right. That being said, Mexico City's Pumas UNAM is one of the region's biggest and most storied clubs and when they roll into town they do carry some clout. We've always heard of rock stars and celebrities having outrageous demands when they visit our city, so we had to wonder - what would Pumas ask from their hotel as they mosey into Toronto?
　
11. Tabasco Sauce for morning coffee
　
10. Tell hotel security to just ignore nightly reports of firecrackers, cock fights and pistolas being shot into the air
　
9. Only want red, green and jumping M&M's
　
8. Every room to be provided with bowl of famous ethnic Canadian delicacy "The Timbit"
　
7. All TV's to be tuned into Telemundo so that no player has to miss the "Mexico's Got Talent" finale
　
6. Siesta wake-up calls
　
5. Complimentary fleecy bath-time ponchos
　
4. An extra room for the "Dos Equis Man"
　
3. Remove any of those "lazy people" from Belize from their floor
　
2. Front desk staff forced to perform Mexican Wave every time team passes by reception area
　
1. "The El Presidente Suite"

AFTER 90: If the Goat horns fit

Doesn't want to face Pumas either



THE BUZZ:
The only real prize for the winner of tonight's match will be for overly optimistic Goats or Robins supporters (yes, we are trying call TFC "The Robins" for sh*ts and giggles) to pretend for one week longer that they have a playoff hope. The truth is, both clubs are on the outside by some distance looking in and are mostly playing for pride and 2012 jobs. The question going in for TFC was whether or not Aron Winter would play a 2nd Team to keep bodies fresh for Tuesday's CCL tilt with Pumas. Heading into Home Depot Centre however, it looks as if Winter decided on the 1st Team option. Stubborn as a goat - or exhausted by Goats? A decision that may haunt the rookie manager if The Reds are flat on Tuesday.
　
FIRST HALF:
8' - YELLOW CARD: Ashtone Morgan
12' - GOAL: Chivas USA - Juan Pablo Angel
CHIVAS USA 1 - TORONTO FC 0
27' - YELLOW CARD: Richard Eckersley
44' - YELLOW CARD: Andy Iro
　
FIRST HALF HIGHLIGHT: Not letting in four goals.
FIRST HALF LOWLIGHT: TFC ruining our "Goatbusters" theme.
　
HALFTIME: CHIVAS USA 1 - TORONTO FC 0
　
SECOND HALF:
45' - SUB: Terry Dunfield for Julian de Guzman
71' - GOAL: Chivas USA - Justin Braun
CHIVAS USA 2 - TORONTO FC 0
73' - SUB: Peri Marosevic for Ryan Johnson
77' - GOAL: Chivas USA - Juan Pablo Angel
CHIVAS USA 3 - TORONTO FC 0
84' - SUB: Danleigh Borman for Danny Koevermans
　
SECOND HALF HIGHLIGHT: Koevermans and Eckersley’s near-goals.
SECOND HALF LOWLIGHT: Chivas’ actual ones.
　
FULL TIME: CHIVAS USA 3 - TORONTO FC 0
　
THE MOOD:
Whether it's justified or not - when TFC inevitably fails to beat Pumas on Tuesday, many will put the blame squarely at Aron Winter's squad management going into tonight's match. There were many calls for Winter to play a 2nd unit against Chivas considering TFC's impossible MLS playoff chances and the importance of the CCL match. Truth be told, The Robins (again!) would struggle against a superior Pumas no matter the line-up but patience is at a low ebb and many will grumble towards the Dutch manager. Silly optimistic playoff talk can now end for good and in 72 hours we may be saying that about 2011 in general.

The match left us feeling: like we wanted a refund for our Saturday night.
　
PLAYER RATINGS: Stefan Frei 6 / Richard Eckersley 5.5 / Ty Harden 5 / Andy Iro 5 / Ashtone Morgan 5.5 / Julian de Guzman 5 (Terry Dunfield 5 ) / Torsten Frings 5.5 / Eric Avila 5 / Nick Soolsma 5 / Danny Koevermans 6 (Danleigh Borman - ) / Ryan Johnson 6 (Peri Marosevic - )
　
THE YORKIES' TFC MAN OF THE MATCH: Ugh. Ryan Johnson?
TALKING POINT: If a fake Mexican team beats us this bad - what will a real one do? Discuss.

THE MATCHUP: Puma > Goat. Discuss.

That is some detailed scouting

CHIVAS USA (13th) VS. TORONTO FC (16th)
　
THE HOME DEPOT CENTRE - SATURDAY 10:30PM ET
TV: GOLTV RADIO: FAN 590
　
THE KICKABOUT:
Once a year, usually around this time of the season, Toronto FC is faced with "The Most Important Match of the Season (TM)". Saturday's tilt with Chivas USA is not it. The "MIMOFTS" (catchy acronym!) is actually on Tuesday vs. Pumas UNAM in Champions League. TFC still has a mathematical shot at advancing in CCL - they have no realistic shot at the MLS Playoffs. There's the rub.

While we don't like "throwing" any match, many supporters hope Aron Winter swallows his pride and plays a secondary unit against The Goats, despite them only being a tempting 2 points above The Reds in the table. A cross-continental round-trip and a late-night (Eastern Time) match will not do TFC any favours with the mighty Mexi-cats on their way to Toronto. Give it the old college try... but The Reds need to blow off The Goats.
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "El NAFTA"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
CHIVAS USA: Juan Pablo Angel, Ante Jazic, Nick LaBrocca
TORONTO: Eric Avila, Milos Kocic, Ashtone Morgan
　
THE ODDS:
- Aron Winter stubbornly playing his 1st Team: 5-1
- TFC attacked in parking lot by gang named "Pumas USA": 50-1
- This blog existing if Toronto had decided to name its club "Arsenal FC CDN": 5000-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
The Home Depot Centre is home to both Chivas USA and LA Galaxy with the former having its offices located in the stadium's infamous "Latin Quarter". The Goats have tried to aid their struggling attendance by offering a free pick-up truck shuttle service from actual Home Depots to attract migrant and illegal workers who weren't picked up to work that day.
　
The stadium is located in Carson, CA - a suburb of Los Angeles that was founded in the early 1970's by guests of "The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson" who had been bumped from the show. On the banks of the Joan River, modern Carson is a vibrant community and home to The Ed McMahon Library & Bar, The Doc Severinsen Philharmonic Orchestra and a statue commemorating Tiny Tim's wedding.
　
THE WAGER: 1-0 Chivas USA (2011: 21-20 with 6 exact scores)FUTURE HEADLINE: "GOATS GIVE REDS THE HORNS"

AFTER 90: Ay dios mio!

TFC's defensive line in usual form



THE BUZZ:
Mexico City's cavernous Estadio Olimpico Universitario is the setting as The Reds try to steal three valuable Champions League points from PUMAS UNAM. The mood was hopeful leading up to the match against the underachieving Mexicans but a rash of TFC absences and a suddenly strong Pumas starting eleven have got us sweating through our UNAM's. Chipotle Butty at the ready - let's say "hola futbol"!
　
FIRST HALF:
17' - GOAL: Pumas UNAM - Martin Bravo
PUMAS UNAM 1 - TORONTO 0
21' - GOAL: Pumas UNAM - Efrain Velarde
PUMAS UNAM 2 - TORONTO 0
33' - GOAL: Pumas UNAM - Martin Bravo
PUMAS UNAM 3 - TORONTO 0
36' - YELLOW CARD: Nick Soolsma
39' - SUB: Andy Iro OUT - Eddie Viator IN
42' - GOAL: Pumas UNAM - Martin Bravo
PUMAS UNAM 4 - TORONTO 0
　
FIRST HALF HIGHLIGHT: The coin toss.
FIRST HALF LOWLIGHT: Everything after that moment.
　
HALFTIME: PUMAS UNAM 4 - TORONTO 0
　
SECOND HALF:
49' - SUB: Ryan Johnson OUT - Peri Marosevic IN
55' - SUB: Danny Koevermans OUT - Terry Dunfield IN
　
SECOND HALF HIGHLIGHT: The final whistle.
SECOND HALF LOWLIGHT: Everything before that moment.
　
FULL TIME: PUMAS UNAM 4 - TORONTO 0
　
THE MOOD:
If there is one thing TFC fans know all too well it's that the light at the end of the tunnel is most often an oncoming train. After a strong willed performance against Columbus on Saturday, The Reds bottled up all that positivity and... left it in an Ohio restroom. A soulless and incompetent performance against a club that had been struggling badly for weeks.
The match left us feeling: like drawing a cat face on our belly and taking a tequila induced siesta until 2012.
　
PLAYER RATINGS:
Milos Kocic 5.5 / Doneil Henry 5.5 / Andy Iro 3 (Eddie Viator 5.5 ) / Ty Harden 3.5 / Ashtone Morgan 6 / Danleigh Borman 5 / Julian de Guzman 5 / Torsten Frings 6 / Nick Soolsma 4 / Danny Koevermans 6 (Terry Dunfield 5 ) / Ryan Johnson 6 (Peri Marosevic 5.5 )
　
THE YORKIES' TFC MAN OF THE MATCH: Sigh... Torsten Frings?
TALKING POINT: The cure for a scoring drought? TFC. Discuss.

THE MATCHUP: No siesta for "Los Rojos"

Pumas UNAM: Quite possibly the greatest kit ever



PUMAS UNAM (4th) VS. TORONTO (2nd)
CONCACAF CHAMPIONS LEAGUE - GROUP C
　
ESTADIO OLIMPICO UNIVERSITARIO - WEDNESDAY 8PM ET
TV: GOLTV
　
THE KICKABOUT:
- Can TFC become just the 2nd MLS club in history to score a victory in Mexico City?
- Will the CCL-underachieving Pumas come out with vengeance after dropping points to FC Dallas and Tauro FC?
- Can The Reds get 90 minutes from Danny Koevermans?
- Does Julian de Guzman's sudden renaissance continue?
- Will TFC remember not to drink the water?
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "The Run for the Border"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
PUMAS UNAM: Martin Bravo, David Cabrera Pujol, Dario Veron
TORONTO: Torsten Frings, Milos Kocic, Danny Koevermans
　
THE ODDS:
- Reds caught off guard as they stare at the Pumas logo waiting to see the cat face turn into a golden fist: 5-1
- Tito Santana and Rick Martel re-uniting their "Strike Force" tag-team during halftime to celebrate the strong ties between Mexico and Canada: 20-1
- Estadio Olimpico full of very fast, giant, sombrero-clad mice: 50-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
- The enormous 62,700 capacity Estadio Olimpico Universitario is one of the largest grounds TFC has ever played in. If the match attracts a full house, it would be the equivalent of playing in front of a New England Revolution crowd 10 times
- Visiting TFC supporters will be amused by the similarity to BMO Field when discovering the option to buy a "Chipotle Butty" from food stands at Estadio Olimpico
- Pumas' stadium is located in Mexico City's historic Olde Homicide District. The area was once a lush jalapeno orchard built above a cursed Aztec sacrificial temple until The Industrial Revolution introduced poncho factories to the neighbourhood. Today, the area is best known for car hydraulics, menacingly thin moustaches and giant bumblebees
　
THE WAGER: 2-1 Pumas (2011: 19-19 with 6 exact scores)
FUTURE HEADLINE: "PUMAS POUNCE ON REDS' DEFENSIVE SIESTA"

THE STARTING 11: Dumb and lazy ways to research the Pumas vs. TFC match

Now that's a midfield!



The life of a non-league football blogger isn't all the glamour, celebrity red carpets and beds covered with money you may think it is. Although I did find two dimes and a nickel in my laundry - so there's that. Sometimes, the need to pen a match preview can come up too quickly, such as The Reds' fixture this Wednesday in Mexico City versus Pumas UNAM. Perhaps, it's the funk of September work or maybe the hackneyed stereotypes proffered by Columbus supporters wore off on us, but sometimes we writing-types lean on stupidity to fluff an article. Playing in Mexico City offers just such an opportunity to put our brains in our back pocket. When even Wikipedia seems like too much hard work, you can just try these ignorantly blissful techniques and hope for the best. Ole!
　
11. Wear an old Tito Santana T-shirt to work - randomly yell "Ariba!" during important board meetings
　
10. Convert a Hyundai hatchback into a low-rider
　
9. Sneak over the 416-905 border under the cover of night
　
8. Try every new flavour of Doritos for breakfast
　
7. Put tiny sombreros on mice to see if they run faster
　
6. Replace dress shoes with pair of old school Puma's
　
5. Study Mexico's rich history... by watching "Three Amigos" on DVD
　
4. Commute on subway in full Lucha Libre costume
　
3. Go to Taco Bell - ask cashier what she thinks of Pumas' depth in the holding midfield position
　
2. Google pictures of Salma Hayek... twice
　
1. Drink two bottles of tequila. Go to the Toronto Zoo. Talk to a puma for a few hours.

CONCACAF GEOGRAPHIC: The Travelling Supporter’s Guide to: Pumas UNAM

Pumas UNAM: It's a Latino puma! No, wait... a golden fist!

 

The Yorkies present "CONCACAF Geographic" - a three-part travel guide for those with the expendable funds, masochistic streak and strong stomach to tackle supporting Toronto FC away during the Champions League Group Stage. Our travel department has been hard at work to bring you this three-part bonus, non-pullout, section of The Yorkies. Pack your bags for Part 2 of 3...
　
WHAT TEAM AM I WATCHING?
Today we visit what will likely be Toronto's toughest away fixture of the CCL Group Stage - Mexico City's PUMAS UNAM. A traditional powerhouse of Mexican football, Pumas also have one of the greatest badges in FIFA which looks like a jungle cat - until you stare at it for a minute and it ends up looking like a golden fist. Like a Mexican 3D painting off of 1990's malls. Just less sailboat - more Latino punching. With the catchy nickname "La escuadra de la maxima casa de estudios" in hand, Pumas are led on to the pitch by Argentine goal scorer Martin Bravo and midfielder Diego De Buen (translated: Doug The Good).Celebrity supporters include cartoon mouse/ speed enthusiast Speedy Gonzales, inventor of the Chimichanga - Alejandro Campos III and Love Boat guest star Charo. Coochie Coochie.
　
WHERE AM I GOING?
The UNAM in Pumas' name stands for National Autonomous University of Mexico - the club's owners and site of Pumas' massive home ground, the 62,700 seat Estadio Olimpico Universitario. The stadium is located in the Ciudad Universitaria (translated: School Cafeteria City) area so visiting Canadians who are used to being stabbed, shot and beaten at Mexican resorts by rural banditos, can instead be stabbed, shot and beaten by educated Mexican co-eds. UNAM is one of Mexico's leading schools, famous for its research into the Jumping Bean Phenomena, Siesta Technologies and Advanced Burrito Engineering. For those venturing further afield into Mexico City, don't miss the hourly Mexican wrestling matches at most main intersections, the annual Festival De Pickpocketos and of course have your facial hair groomed into a swarthy handlebar mustachio by most local taxi drivers during traffic jams.
　
HOW DO I GET THERE?
While there are daily direct flights to Mexico City from Toronto, for the thrifty traveller we recommend leaving a few days early and flying on a budget airline to San Diego, California or Laredo, Texas. While there, pretend to be an illegal alien, get captured, then sit back and relax as American authorities transport you for free across the Mexican border. It is only a 3-day donkey-trek form the border region to Mexico City. Ariba savings!
　
WHAT SHOULD I TAKE WITH ME?
The seasoned Mexican tourist knows that travelling light is key. An empty suitcase, apart from two cases of bottled water, an anti-diarrhetic and some form of high-powered rifle (preferably with night vision capability) is all that you should need. That, and wads of American money to hand over to: airport customs, cab drivers, local police, amateur "pharmaceutical" teams, cock-fighting organizers, novelty sombrero salesmen, giant mice, random schoolchildren and priests.
　
WHAT SHOULD I EAT & DRINK?
There's a (loosely translated) phrase in Mexico - "If it's brown - drink it down. If it burns... you will die in approximately 36 hours" This ain't your daddy's taco bell. If you aren't used to spices that cause your testicles to recede into your stomach - be sure to ask for everything "Grande Gringo". This level of spice is equal to what most Canadians would consider "5 Alarm" but is the mildest available. To start your day, we recommend the mildest available breakfast of Jalapeno Cheerios with skim chili horse milk, toast with butter and paprika, an orange dipped in Tabasco and a Tequilacino coffee.
　
WHAT SHOULD I LOOK OUT FOR?
Mexico hasn't been the friendliest of countries for Canuck visitors over the last few years but a great majority of Mexicans are warm, hospitable and moustachioed. At least 3 out of 10 gunshot-sounds are simply fireworks being let off and only 48% of people wearing masks are robbers with the remaining being luchadors on their way to a match. Do be aware of a new scam however where the worm in the bottom of local tequila bottles somehow manages to extract all of your credit card info.
　
WHAT'S A HANDY PHRASE TO REMEMBER?
"No, no, yo no soy un turista canadiense - Yo soy un albino panameno!"
(Translated: No, no I am not a Canadian tourist - I am an albino Panamanian!")

Coochie Coochie!

Be sure to check back for our CONCACAF Geographic guide to Tauro FC coming soon