THE STARTING 11: Dutch influences on Toronto FC's new training facility

"Stop loafing Frings, that windmill ain't gonna build itself!"



The biggest investment in Toronto FC this year will not come in the way of a Designated Player but in a group of buildings and pitches in the city's north end. The new TFC training facility, due to open this May in Downsview Park, will arguably be the finest club training facility in North American professional football. Being the new home of TFC Academy and the first team means it will cater to the playing style demanded by Aron Winter, Bob de Klerk and new Academy Direct Thomas Rongen. Being that these men all cut their footballing teeth in the "total" world of Dutch football, there may be a few additional touches brought in to add to the Netherlands atmosphere...
　
11. Academy prospects awoken every morning by hard Rotterdam techno blasting through speakers
　
10. Smoking is not only allowed... but encouraged
　
9. A "Red Light District" set-up near practice field will feature Jim Brennan dancing behind glass
　
8. Giant windmill will be visible from the 401
　
7. Adjacent Downsview Airport runway absolutely filled with KLM jumbo jets
　
6. Academy players encouraged to grow Ruud Gullit style dreadlocks and moustache
　
5. Pancake Day is EVERYDAY!
　
4. Only cleaning product allowed in washrooms is "Ajax"
　
3. International War Criminals tried by tribunal in parking lot
　
2. All TV's tuned into 24-hour marathon of Rutger Hauer films
　
1. Nearby subway station re-named "Downshview"

All Rutger - all the time!

THE STARTING 11: Ways Toronto FC will change under Dutch influence

Because PSV Torontohoven just wasn't funny

Winter is upon us! So are years of "winter" puns! Yes, the news travelled quickly across the Atlantic yesterday that Dutch legend Aron Winter was on the verge of joining Toronto FC. In what capacity we are yet to know for certain - at the time of writing it could be Technical Director, Head Coach, GM, starting midfielder or head groundskeeper. ML$E of course has kept their mouths shut on the topic until a press conference is held, most likely on Thursday. By that time we expect Earl Cochrane to have heard the news. Of course there is still the added possibility that England's Paul Mariner is in the mix but either way, Winter's arrival (along with his pal Bob de Klerk) will be seen as Toronto's "Oranje Revolution". But how else may the Dutch influence be felt around TFC?
　
11. New "Amsterdam-style" coffee house opened near Gate 3
　
10. 70% of BMO Field's power to come from windmills
　
9. New training facility built in Ajax... Ontario
　
8. All BMO Field ketchup replaced with warm mayonnaise

7. Club re-branded as "Go Ahead Beavers"
　
6. PA announcer constantly putting down Belgians
　
5. Julian de Guzman to market line of athletic wooden clogs
　
4. Club ownership will be pronounced "ML-esh-E"
　
3. Chad Barrett to change name to Chohan Bruyff
　
2. Dan Gargan told to grow 1980's style Ruud Gullit dreadlocks or be released
　
1. Pancakes! Pancakes! Pancakes!