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Showing posts with label Fitness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fitness. Show all posts

Thursday, January 31, 2013

LETTERS FROM CAMP: Payne management

"It's good to talk..."

With just a few days before The Reds go all snowbird and head down to Orlando ("WHOOO! SPRING BREAK!"), Kevin Payne took time away from packing his mesh "Daytona Beach '84" tank-tops to hold a round-table discussion with some members of the mainstream Toronto football media. The boss of all things Eff Cee seemed to be in "line drawn in sand" mode which may or may not be a beach metaphor. Here's a few of K-Payne's phat rhymes...
 
ON THE KIDS:
- Some TFC Academy players will be invited to join the first team down in Florida due to some early "impressive performances".
- No word if they will be allowed any beachside hijinks with locals much like in the 1983 seminal theatrical spring break opus... "Spring Break"
 
ON NEW SIGNINGS:
- TFC are "looking almost exclusively south" for new players adding that European targets are "overpriced"
- Somewhere Mikael Yourassowsky said "WTF man?!"
- Did not get into any type of financial conversation about the Greek Debt Crisis or the falling value of the Euro over the Honduran Lempira
- Club is hoping to announce new signing this week or early next week but warned "it has been a complex deal"
- Possibly related, possibly not, but definitely complex, Payne dropped that "Peralta deal is not dead"
- In addition to the above 'imminent deal' the club is also working on 3 further deals with attacking players preferably under the age of 27.
 
ON THE MONEYZ:
- Claimed that the business side of TFC was in "great shape"
- Thousands of TFC supporters rolled their eyes in unison
- Ryan Nelsen was awarded a three-year contract
 
ON FITNESS:
- "Very disappointed" that "many players showed up unfit" and that "1 or 2 were not even close to being fit"
- Sternly stated "that won't happen again"
 
ON THE DP'S:
- When asked about Torsten Frings, Payne stated "he's deserving of every opportunity to prove he can still do the job" but then quickly added that the German is not in full training yet.
- Claimed that there are "no discussions yet to buy (Frings) out"
- Journalists likely safe to put "yet" in all caps
- Payne was clear that "buying out a DP is an option". Clubs may only do this once a year if you were hoping to hear that Frings, Hassli and Koevermans were all on a bus to Pearson.
- Rather randomly dropped that "the jury is out on Hassli". Not sure what the Frenchman is charged with but it sounds ominous in a 12 Angry Men kind of way
- When asked if it was explained to him why Hassli's contract was renewed a week before he was hired, Payne paused and wryly said "No."
- Somewhere Paul Mariner's ears started to burn.
- Unsurprising to most, Danny Koevermans won't likely be ready to play until the end of June at the earliest. His form would likely be found a month or two after that.
- As if wanting to end things with a big asterisk, Payne let it be known that the 3 DP's along with Darren O'Dea and Richard Eckersley eat up a "very, very large percentage of the salary cap"... so see you this time next year?
 
IN PARTING:
- First home fixture now solidly scheduled for SkyDome on March 9 at 1:30 PM. Get your thundersticks now!
- Payne may or may not have put on mesh "Daytona Beach '84" tank-top and strapped surfboard on top of Studebaker station wagon with Florida plates and peeled out of BMO Field parking lot.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Get Fit met Koef!

"Lesh get fishical!"

If there is one overarching theme to this site - it is high-intensity physical fitness. We are practically aware addicted to "healthy body - healthy mind" here at The Yorkies. Sadly, the long, dark winter months of the TFC off-season aren't always conducive to calisthenics and regimented diet plans so we seek extra motivation. Alas, we look to our heroes in Red - those specimens of success - The Eff Cee's, for that ultimate push.
 
Looking at the TFC squad, there is only one man whose dedication to fitness and tremendous physique is worthy of such adulation. Sadly, Adrian Cann wasn't available and the only guy staying in town is Danny Koevermans. The "burly" Dutchman often arrives to preseason in conditions described as "here" or "sort of winded". With such a great scoring touch, his tight shirts are usually ignored until he regains fitness in July but coming off an injury and with such excuses an emphasis on last year's team fitness - this winter will be different. In Koef's own words "I will train everyday - except on weekends"... we like that kind of fire.
 
Luckily for fitness aficionados, "Koef" actually had a popular fitness series back when he was playing in The Netherlands. "Tweeëntwintig Minuten Koefuit" (22 Minute Koef-Out) was Holland's twenty-eighth most popular fitness video and pamphlet series and is still just as valuable today! With this easy to follow plan, you too can be "a bit less hefty" by Spring! (Translated from original Dutch)
 
HET WERK UIT (The workout)
- Rekken / Mengen pannekoekbeslag (stretching/ mixing pancake batter) 1 min
- Raak je klompen (Touch your clogs) 1 min
- Rookpauze (Smoke break) 2 mins
- Springen Johans (Jumping Jacks) 1 min
- Pannenkoek tijd (Pancake time) 4 min
- Gewichtheffen hazelnootpasta (Powerlifting giant Nutella jars) 1 min
- Kolonisten van Catan (Settlers of Catan) 10 mins
- Afkoelen / grap oproep Nick Soolsma (Cool down/ Prank call Nick Soolsma) 2 mins
 
EET DEZE! (What to eat)
- Groene groenten (Green vegetables)
- Romig Gouda saus voor groenten (Creamy cheese sauce for vegetables)
- 8 glazen water (8 glasses of water)
- 9 glazen chocolademelk (9 chocolate milks)
- Appels (Apples)
- Taart (Pie)
- Appeltaart (Apple pie)
- Fanta (Fanta)
- Noten (Nuts)
- Nutella (Nutella)
- Mayonaise ("Everything Sauce")
- Zeven dagelijkse porties van pannenkoek (7 daily servings of pancake)
- Volg met een gezonde lunch, diner en snacks (Follow with a balanced lunch, dinner and snack)
- Roken (A smoke)
 
"Vergeet niet, gezond is een 22/5 baan!"
("Being healthy is a 22 minute, 5 day a week job!")