The Toronto FC Sadvent Calendar: Day 12

"INUKSHUKS!"

　

What better way to ingratiate oneself with your new homeland than embracing a beloved symbol? Well at least a symbol that is co-opted for the Olympics and when the government pretends to care about the First Nations. Yes, the mighty Inuit Inukshuk was chosen by club president Kevin Payne as the most apt representation of how TFC should build itself. There are now a dozen boxes of unused Inukshuks in the BMO Field storage closet.

　

Check back tomorrow and open another Sadvent window!



Tuck the Payne away

"This ball still believes in me..."

We barely had time to "get used to" you Kevin.

Through the powerfully heartfelt mediums of corporate press release and hobbled together conference call, Toronto FC kept the gears greased on their never-ending management carousel. Kevin Payne, the ever-so humble, Forlan-addicted veteran MLS executive has "parted ways" with Toronto FC and is no longer the President and GM of the wildly successful club.

While Toronto FC have stumbled and bumbled through yet another season of misery, many did expect a tough year ahead this past off-season. Few, even the most pessimistic of TFC supporters (hello.) would have predicted that Payne's reign would be over mere months after its much ballyhooed beginning. However, with an ambitious new MLSE President in the form of Tim Leiweke and the obvious realization that TFC has not been transformed into a club ready to compete in 2014, the trigger was pulled.

Few will likely know the true catalyst that lead to Payne's dismissal but the writing had been on the wall since Leiweke and head coach Ryan Nelsen appeared in tandem at a semi-secret society meeting with one supporter's group recently. Leiweke went out of his way to assure Nelsen's job security for 2014 but the absence of the team president spoke volumes.

BREAKING NEWS : Payne is out! No one lined up to replace him!

Seriously.

#StabilityNow #CarouselOfLaughter #TheShockHasWornOff

Kevin Payne has been relieved of his duties according to a reputable source (The Star).  He is to stay on in a consultancy role to ease the transition, but is stripped of his title.  Apparently, the list of debacles was enough for Tim Leiweke to sever ties with his good buddy.

Interesting nuggets to come from this news include that the $25 million to bolster the squad was green lit for Diego Forlan's acquisition, but the utter failure of landing him didn't help his cause.

To be fair, this guy was at least more proactive than the last guy, who was nothing more than happy to count the money for the honour of spending a few nights a season being blasted by season seat holders.

The million dollar question is : does this spell the end of Nelsen?  Hard to say.  Would like to think that with the terrible acquisitions and trades this side has made during his tenure, The Robins aren't as crap as the scoreline and record indicates.  They are a far better side than last year.  Defense is spotty, but improved.  Midfield is creative and aggressive.  Forwards are still terrible, but everyone else is trying to make up for their ongoing disappointments.  Can only dream what this side could look like with actual league-competitive talent...

(0:18 mark for the reference)

THE MATCHUP: Payne-ful to watch

The blurst of times?

D.C. UNITED VS. TORONTO

 

RFK STADIUM - SATURDAY 7PM ET

TV: SPORTSNET 360

 

THE KICKABOUT:

On paper, this fixture looked to be the perfect tonic for the eternally ailing TFC. A visit to that other nation's capital to face D.C. United, a club woefully sliding through the tail-end residuals of life under Kevin Payne. Meanwhile The Reds, now under his apparently steady hand, head... well not upwards... but let's say in a mildly circular motion.

 

The optimism was of course before TFC got news that their best player, Matias Laba, had broken his toe and will miss around six weeks. TFC was slow on delivering this news as they were busy telling us about the "Everything is OK 2014" Family HappyTime BBQ. Who needs playoffs when you have an Interactive Fan Zone and a chance to sell product after all? Little has changed.

 

So, this match - with Kevin Payne's fingerprints all over both sides' undercarriages - ends up as a truly ugly representation of "playing out the stretch". What won't be resolved on the field are growing questions whether the man who left United to join TFC was a wily MLS front office vet snagged by a floundering club crying out for leadership... or, a washed-up executive who had burned his bridges over the Potomac and found the one club desperate enough to hand him a life preserver.

 

MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME:

"The Payne Identity"

 

PLAYERS TO WATCH:

D.C. UNITED: Dwayne De Rosario, Bill Hamid, Luis Silva

TORONTO: Joe Bendik, Jonathan Osario, Maxi Urruti

 

THE ODDS:

- De Ro scoring against TFC: 3-1

- Luis Silva scoring against TFC: 2-1

- Both teams imploding under immense crudulence: EVENS

 

WHO ARE YA?

After many years of attempting to get a new stadium deal done under the leadership of Kevin Payne, it looks like United have finally got their deal in place. Despite Mr. Payne no longer being a member of the club, his efforts will not be forgotten at the new ground. Plans for a way to honour his years of service are being made with United fans being asked to vote on the most appropriate commemoration between these choices:

 

1) A bronze statue of Payne surrounded by children of the world with the words "Get Used To It" carved in Latin at his feet

2) A commissioned oil painting of Payne scouting players by an open fire while Earl Cochrane is snuggled sleepily at his side

3) Friendlies scheduled bi-weekly for the lifespan of the new ground

 

POST-MATCH HEADLINE: "PAYNE. NO GAIN."

 

And... since it's Friday and this fixture "Scares Me" in a "Major" way, here's a video likely to be far more entertaining than the usual "General Rubbish"...



EDITORIAL: Got Used To It and Still Getting Used To It...

 

I get it.

 

Toronto FC is a business. It’s a franchise. It’s not a "club". It’s not a community cornerstone.

 

Toronto plays Roma. They give Roma an appearance fee, and then Toronto sets out to recoup their investment by charging higher-than-normal prices and hope the fringe football enthusiasts, glory hunters or die-hards of both sides pony up the dosh to watch the match.

 

And this model obviously works.

 

The "get used to it" comment has been blown out of proportion, as gold as it has been comedy-wise, by hardcore supporters as a metaphoric middle finger.

 

Here are things we need to remember:

 

Because it’s a business, and a for-profit one at that, the object is to exchange entertainment for money.

 

The hardest-core of supporters sit in the lowest revenue generating sections of the stadium. Have you seen what they charge for the comfy back seats at the centre of the pitch? One of those season seat holders has to be worth at least 10 of the south-enders.

 

Who hasn’t noticed the increased number of advertisers this season? Every facet is sponsored by someone or something. The only time the PA announcer doesn’t remind us that something is sponsored by something is when he’s announcing the starting lineup, goals and substitutions. Otherwise, his primary function is to shill.

 

 

We, like most of you, hate that loyal supporters are an afterthought at TFC, but it is as evident now as it ever has been. And as much as we have romantic ideas of supporter-owned clubs or protests that actually result in something positive, that will likely never happen. Why? Because you already paid. Money is the only metric that matters.

 

14000 people show up for a game that 19000 paid for. Are they concerned? A little. What will they do to change that? Platitudes. Cultural nights. Our presence isn’t nearly as treasured as we think.

 

Remember: This is a business. As long as anyone pays, then that’s what matters. The dollar is a vote, and with every dollar spent, is a vote of re-election.

 

With the threat of a mass exodus of season ticket holders at the end of last season, that’s when REAL CHANGE took place. Out with Anselmi, in with Payne. Money was about to be lost and likely not coming back.

 

Minimize (or stop) giving TFC your money for kits, scarves, beers, chip buttys and especially exhibitions. Otherwise, get used to it.

 

@ignirtoq sometimes has a point and sometimes within that point, he can articulate it without a massive tangent that never seems to come back. One time he took a tangent that led him to explaining why it is bullshit that ice cream is no longer ice cream but "frozen dairy treats". Too bad he was talking about T20 cricket and why it's awesome. Where was I... oh yeah, so sometimes @ignirtoq has a point... 

The next cut ain't the deepest



The one constant at Toronto FC has always been change. Life under our new Kiwi Overlord has not altered that human resources workload. With rumours abound of up to four new potential signings joining our springtime tundra, more change is on the horizon.
　
MLS rosters have their limits of course, both in capacity and economical, so if new recruits are truly on their way then the football boot must drop for some current Reds. With the mystery Argentine striker (the not mysterious Maximiliano Urruti) seemingly waiting at Buenos Aires airport, the machinations of transactions are creaking to life. Yesterday, the first bit of space management was implemented with TFC Academy grad Matt Stinson given his release - but that won't be enough.

Nelsen also hinted today there will likely be more players released. In the wake of Stinson, more tough decisions. #TFC
— Kurtis Larson (@KurtLarSUN) March 19, 2013

　
Ryan Nelsen is clear that TFC will be a different looking squad over the next few months and that will have to mean pink slips to more than just Matt Stinson. But who else will be getting the not-so-golden handshake? Assuming that the professionals signed since Kevin Payne took control as President are safe(ish) - who may face the snip?
　
LOGAN EMORY?
The former Puerto Rico Islander arrived with the whiff of emergency signing but did clock some minutes in 2012. On that mess of a squad, that doesn't say too much. A low salary at a fairly young age could save him but as far as potential goes - we have probably seen all that he is capable of.

REGGIE LAMBE?
Possibly the most looked-to as far as potential cuts go. Despite a low salary he does seem to be the "1 in 6 player" that Paul Mariner frustratingly claimed he was. Has looked "okayish" early this season but yet to develop into any kind of consistent MLS player. Worse for Lambe is the big international roster spot dangling around his neck.
　
JUSTIN BRAUN?
"But I just got here!" Yes, probably a bit early and unfair to judge Braun but if attacking options are on TFC's shopping list then Braun may be the odd man out. His goal tally over the last few seasons is most likely to be found on the side of a milk carton but there may be a little bit of trade potential in the ex-Chivas striker. Could be ballast for Payne to pick up another team's international roster spot.
　
OSORIO, BENNETT and/or T.MORGAN?
The three youngsters impressed enough in training camp to secure a pro deal but they will only hang on if TFC feels they have enough potential to warrant development at the price of a roster spot. On miniscule salaries, their departures won't help the wage bill but would be purely to make space. Variables such as Taylor Morgan's international roster (or not) classification could be a variable.
　
ANDREW WIEDEMAN?
A short moment of pity to the youngster who was given the no-doubt unwanted anchor of "Modern Era etc. etc." in one of Paul Mariner's least cogent brain releases. Every time the attacking mid takes a (often wanting) shot on goal those words can be heard echoing around BMO Field like the Ghost of Ipswich Past. Pity aside, Wiedeman has yet to show his value and with his Generation Adidas shield gone, a future in Toronto seems unlikely. Whether another MLS GM can be tempted to mine what Mariner thought he saw remains to be seen.
　
DANNY KOEVERMANS?
Yes we know. Highly unlikely as the league's "Drop a DP" deadline has long passed - but weirder things have happened. While it is true that Koef is arguably the club's finest striker in its history, he is also on a very hefty (stop it) contract and is extremely injury-prone. Will the Dutchman be able to return to anything resembling a high-powered striker? Does he fit into Ryan Nelsen's tactical style? And... if fit... would a 35-year-old Koef re-sign with TFC in 2014 as a non-DP? These are questions that will determine his future in maple leaf red.
　
JEREMY HALL?
The positive of keeping Jeremy Hall in a TFC kit is that he can play five positions on the pitch. The negative is how he plays those five positions. Hall would be a useful tool on your bench if it wasn't for his nasty habit of making Reds supporters smack their heads really, really hard at least once per match. A player like Hall could still garner a wee bit of interest on the MLS trade market but not if you want a useful player in return. Has Hall's early season usage in the starting eleven been a sign of interest by Ryan Nelsen or just a lack of options?
　
TERRY DUNFIELD?
Ok - when you throw things at your screen it only hurts your computer - not our site. Calm down. While Terry Dunfield has done well with the gifts that Football Jesus has given him, he is not more than bench strength on any quality MLS side. If he wasn't Canadian, he wouldn't be held in such high regard here. But, it is those intangibles - a Canuck, a really good citizen and with seemingly good leadership skills - that will likely save his job. Not to mention avoiding the PR nightmare that would follow. Now take a deep breath Terrymaniacs - it's not personal.
　
While who stays and who goes will be dictated by who comes in and the positions they play, chances are that one or more of the above are not long for Hogtown. Who do you think is due (or would you like - vengeful buggers) to depart BMO Field? Add your voice to the discussion in the comments below. Or you're cut.
　
And, if it is you Danny or Terry... we promise to sing this once at BMO Field...

Out mit the alt, in mit the neu

No Pat... we said "Young DP"



You can take his face off of the sides of those milk cartons - Kevin Payne was not missing after all. On the heels of Torsten Frings' almost emotional and extremely classy goodbye to TFC, the club president was finally forced to update his very concerned fan base about the lack of incoming players. With two DP's down and a preseason roster still mostly filled with Academy prospects, draft picks and trialists, Payne attempted to assuage an increasingly angered mob before torches were lit.
　
The "potential" additions to the club include:
- Hogan Ephraim: the 24-year-old winger and sometime striker is apparently an "imminent" (you've heard that somewhere before) signing on a loan deal from his parent club Queen's Park Rangers. The Iron Sheik has gone on the record saying "The Hogan has the raisinballs" so Payne may want to re-consider.
- John Bostock: Yes, he of the angry father calling TalkSport radio to call out Harry Redknapp, is on trial after failing to garner interest from San Jose Earthquakes. The 21-year-old was once touted as a future England international attacking mid but has seen his career stutter after numerous loan failures and rumours of a shoddy work-ethic and questionable attitude. Potential signing would again be on a loan basis from Tottenham.
- Robert Earnshaw: the very experienced 31-year-old Welsh international striker is flying into Toronto tonight to "take a look" at the club and vice-versa. With many years spent in the English Championship at such clubs as Derby County, Nottingham Forest (he's a Welsh Clough) and Norwich City, he could be the kind of goal scorer that would work under Ryan Nelsen's system. Would have to put this one at 50/50 at best for the moment.
- Two Hondurans and a microphone: Where's it at? Apologies to Beck but TFC ("I'm a loser baby") apparently have two players from the Central American nation on their radar. The club has been linked with a few Hondurans this spring so take your pick from Alfredo Mejia, Arnold Peralta, Rommel Quioto and numerous other random Tegucigalpans.
- An Argentine DP: this was the one that came out of left-field. Payne has dispatched Head Scout Pat Onstad down to work on his tango and take a look at a player who would be a "young DP". Which is apparently not the same thing as Young MC. The yet unnamed striker would be a big addition talent-wise (you would imagine) but as per all of the above moves - would be a loan signing. Bust a move already.
- Coming soon: in post-conference interviews Payne lamented the short period of time he has had to re-tool The Reds but told fans to expect a few changes in the first couple of months of the season.
　
While updating the fans on these potential moves is a welcome positive, it will be at the new regime's peril if most of these official "rumours" don't pan out. Yes, deals fall through every day in the world of football but with four days remaining before First Kick, TFC supporter patience, rightly or wrongly, is as thin as the roster.

UPDATE: Our colleague and pal from Waking The Red, Kristin Knowles (@kzknowles on teh twitterz) has been doing yeoman's schmoozing work at the TFC Launch Party tonight and has managed to get word out that The Reds have apparently made a few signings. Supplemental Draft Pick (and our very own Peter Crouch-esque striker) Taylor Morgan, QPR-owned winger Hogan Ephraim and (most likely) Academy product Jonathan Osorio have joined the club.

Now seriously TFC, time to do this...

LETTERS FROM CAMP: Let's do lunch

"Hi SkyDome? Are you open for lunch?"



IT'S GONNA KICK OFF
We are starting to get a slightly better idea of when to tell our significant others that we won't be available for (enter lame family function here) as TFC's match kick-off times are appearing slowly. No, not on the club's website... that would just be crazy talk... but via TV schedules. TSN dropped their mad 2013 MLS science today and with it a few ideas of when to start singing "When The Reds Go Marching In". Some early season kick-offs of interest include...
　
- MARCH 2ND @ VANCOUVER 6:30PM
- MARCH 9TH VS. SPORTING KC (dans le SkyDome) 1:30PM
- MARCH 16TH @ MONTREAL 4PM
- MARCH 30TH VS LOS ANGELES 2PM
　
Also announced were a bunch of midday starts in the summer which is perfect if you enjoy turning bright red/cooking poultry live on the tin floor that is BMO Field. But really, why listen to supporters when TSN has to make space for whatever it is that channel shows when it's not football. Is summer hockey a thing? You've been warned TFC support, SPF timez - and the rest of you who show up 30 minutes late no matter what the start time, you can just burn.
　
CAMP CRUMBY
All is quiet on the southern front - Orlando, Florida... here are some crumbs you addicts...
- Doneil Henry has been brought into the Canada U-20 camp next week with a call up to the CONCACAF Championships later this month likely. Henry will thus be away from TFC until early March and if by chance Canada qualifies - will miss some time this June at the U-20 World Cup in Turkey. Gobble gobble.
- Darren O'Dea decided to concentrate on his first pre-season with TFC rather than join the Republic of Ireland who are playing in a friendly this week. O'Dea has been tapped to play a major leadership role and his time with TFC is important at this stage. He says a bunch of things in Irish here...
- He gotz the allocation moneyz at the draft. He gotz the salary capz relief after trading Hassli yo. Time for some cha-ching from Kevin Payne? Not so fast. Homeyz. (So streets right?) The president quietly warned that TFC may not have all the pieces they want before the season begins as he takes the slow and steady approach to signing players he actually wants over panic buying. That being said, the clock is ticking on Payne to "Ante Up"(see scientific video below) before fans recoil in horror at Justin Braun lining up as the lone striker. Homeyz.

LETTERS FROM CAMP: Payne management

"It's good to talk..."



With just a few days before The Reds go all snowbird and head down to Orlando ("WHOOO! SPRING BREAK!"), Kevin Payne took time away from packing his mesh "Daytona Beach '84" tank-tops to hold a round-table discussion with some members of the mainstream Toronto football media. The boss of all things Eff Cee seemed to be in "line drawn in sand" mode which may or may not be a beach metaphor. Here's a few of K-Payne's phat rhymes...
　
ON THE KIDS:
- Some TFC Academy players will be invited to join the first team down in Florida due to some early "impressive performances".
- No word if they will be allowed any beachside hijinks with locals much like in the 1983 seminal theatrical spring break opus... "Spring Break"
　
ON NEW SIGNINGS:
- TFC are "looking almost exclusively south" for new players adding that European targets are "overpriced"
- Somewhere Mikael Yourassowsky said "WTF man?!"
- Did not get into any type of financial conversation about the Greek Debt Crisis or the falling value of the Euro over the Honduran Lempira
- Club is hoping to announce new signing this week or early next week but warned "it has been a complex deal"
- Possibly related, possibly not, but definitely complex, Payne dropped that "Peralta deal is not dead"
- In addition to the above 'imminent deal' the club is also working on 3 further deals with attacking players preferably under the age of 27.
　
ON THE MONEYZ:
- Claimed that the business side of TFC was in "great shape"
- Thousands of TFC supporters rolled their eyes in unison
- Ryan Nelsen was awarded a three-year contract
　
ON FITNESS:
- "Very disappointed" that "many players showed up unfit" and that "1 or 2 were not even close to being fit"
- Sternly stated "that won't happen again"
　
ON THE DP'S:
- When asked about Torsten Frings, Payne stated "he's deserving of every opportunity to prove he can still do the job" but then quickly added that the German is not in full training yet.
- Claimed that there are "no discussions yet to buy (Frings) out"
- Journalists likely safe to put "yet" in all caps
- Payne was clear that "buying out a DP is an option". Clubs may only do this once a year if you were hoping to hear that Frings, Hassli and Koevermans were all on a bus to Pearson.
- Rather randomly dropped that "the jury is out on Hassli". Not sure what the Frenchman is charged with but it sounds ominous in a 12 Angry Men kind of way
- When asked if it was explained to him why Hassli's contract was renewed a week before he was hired, Payne paused and wryly said "No."
- Somewhere Paul Mariner's ears started to burn.
- Unsurprising to most, Danny Koevermans won't likely be ready to play until the end of June at the earliest. His form would likely be found a month or two after that.
- As if wanting to end things with a big asterisk, Payne let it be known that the 3 DP's along with Darren O'Dea and Richard Eckersley eat up a "very, very large percentage of the salary cap"... so see you this time next year?
　
IN PARTING:
- First home fixture now solidly scheduled for SkyDome on March 9 at 1:30 PM. Get your thundersticks now!
- Payne may or may not have put on mesh "Daytona Beach '84" tank-top and strapped surfboard on top of Studebaker station wagon with Florida plates and peeled out of BMO Field parking lot.

SuperDraftDodgers! Reds flip picks, grab pair of 905'ers and all the allocation moneys!

"Wheeler dealer". Not only did Kevin Payne grab Harry Redknapp's best defender as his next manager but he may have also stolen his nickname. After TFC's performance at today's SuperDraft, he may just have a case.
　
The team that 24 hours ago had the 1st and 3rd picks ended up (take a breath now...) flipping the # 1 pick to New England for allocation money and the Revs # 4 pick, taking a local boy with the # 3 pick, flipping the # 4 pick to Vancouver for their # 10 pick and allocation money, flipping the # 10 pick to Seattle for their # 16 pick and likely mo' money before taking another local boy at # 16. Mic drop.
　
The wacky day in Indianapolis went like so...
- Don Garber, who refused to dress like supervillain General Zod at his own SuperDraft, had a pre-draft speech that ran for approximately 8 1/2 hours.
- New England used the # 1 pick formerly known as TFC's pick to select defender Andrew Farrell.
- Chivas USA continued their "new" plan to banish all non-Latinos to anywhere else and selected midfielder Carlos Alvarez.
- Then... after spending the night telling local media that this player was likely too small and slow for MLS, Kevin Payne selected Oakville native Kyle Bekker with the # 3 pick. The 905 rejoiced. The Bekker family immediately started putting Kyle's furniture back in his room and the player himself downloaded the Go Transit schedule onto his phone. The box-to-box midfielder impressed greatly at the Combines and was a surprise # 3 pick but one with a big upside and a built-in fan base. No word if a Presto Card will be included in his contract.
- With their next pick, TFC took... a five minute timeout... then announced that the # 4 pick was going to Vancouver who took young Gambian Kekuta Manneh. TFC took their money and the 10th pick.
- After waiting through those other teams and their highly uninteresting picks TFC prepared for its # 10 pick by... having Seattle call a time-out. Whaaaaaa? Yes, The Reds flipped again and gave Sounders the # 10 (which they used on Eriq Zavaleta) took their # 16 and likely took mo' Cascadia moneys.
- Finally, just when you thought TFC couldn't get any more allocation money... they didn't. But they did shore up the lucrative 905 area code market by grabbing Mississauga native and Oregon State forward Emery Welshman.
- Then Kevin Payne rolled around in a pile of money like Demi Moore for an hour.
　
The way things are going, there could be more to this day (which we will update below) but that was definitely TFC's most ambitious draft in their history. Kevin Payne grabs allocation money to fund imminent signings, shuts down criticism of anyone worried about the club's "Canadian" direction and seemingly took advantage of other teams panicking on the draft floor. How this all turns out? Only time tells at drafts but it sure was interesting to have TFC as the puppet masters at today's proceeding rather than passive ball-watchers. The biggest news for The Reds won't really be what happened today - but what they do with what they collected today.

All that losing for nothing? Payne eyes more than just draft picks as Reds deal 1st Pick

"Ok ball - you take Hassli and I'll throw in some ball polish. Deal?"

Welcome to our unexpectedly ongoing SuperDraft pre-game show. Up next Diana Ross takes a free kick. But first... "TFC did whaaaaaaaaaaaa?"

 

Out of all of the mock draft prognostication and "will they/won't they" trade one or both of the picks, not many would have guessed at this one. TFC aka "The House of Payne" has flipped the first overall pick in tomorrow's SuperDraft to New England for their pick, fourth overall, and that mysterious element of the universe - allocation money. And you would have to guess it was more than a musket's worth of funds.

 

The deal would seem to make a few things apparent: Kevin Payne and his team were not sold or interested in the projected # 1 pick Andrew Farrell; they feel that they can pick up pieces that they need with the 3rd and 4th picks (possibly including Canadian Kyle Bekker); and, the club has its eyes on some imminent player acquisitions which require the allocation money. The next 24 hours or so should be woolly ones to say the least.

 

More news when it happens - which knowing TFC will be when we turn our backs for one damn second - or when Diana Ross finally connects. Super! Draft.



It's not quite Business Time - The cons and pros of hiring a tardy Kiwi

"No worries mate, when I'm not here - this ball is in charge."



Maybe the Australians were right all along. "Never trust a motherfilippn' New Zealander" they will tell you. They will also tell you a lot of things about scampi, Paul Hogan and Foster's Lager though - so who can you trust? Well, we know what side of the barbie Kevin Payne stands on as he has entrusted the future of TFC to "The Man from the Land Down Under (and slightly to the right)" - Ryan Nelsen.
　
It's a day after the "TFC Major Announcement (TM)" and the shockwaves are still reverberating. What should have been a day for looking forward at TFC was of course hijacked by the news that Nelsen is still under contract with relegation-strugglers QPR and may have to see out the end of his terms - seemingly through mid-May. While the QPR angle is still a moving story (moving around Harry Redknapp's wheeler-dealer orbit) locals seem split on the good, the bad and the Kiwi of an absentee manager. With the '13 season upon us we look at 13 cons and pros (some serious, many not. It's us guys. And backwards - Southern Hemisphere stylee) of having a late, hopefully great, TFC manager.
　
THE CONS aka "The future is All Black"
- The timing of the hiring and Nelsen's status will leave many sceptics always believing that Paul Mariner should have been given his "full off-season" to prove himself
- The delay will let other MLS clubs get their greasy paws all over the league's finest Oceania-based stars. Like... um... Andrew Boyens
- We're starting to make Roman Abramovich look downright patient
- The inexperienced Nelsen CV and lack of panic at his new manager's prospective absence could give weight to the D.C.-formed criticism of Kevin Payne that he likes puppeteer-like control over his managers
- After going back to his defending duties at QPR, Nelsen could be in mid-season relegation form just in time to take over a club that should have been relegated 5 times.
- A potential four-month absence gives MLSE time to hire and fire managers 9, 10, 11 and 12
- By missing training camp, Nelsen will lose the chance to build a personal bond with his new players making his arrival akin to a mid-season hiring carrying all of the "getting to know the new manager" excuses and baggage with it
- Forced to wait until summer for more of Nelsen's hilarious "Nelly the Rapper" jokes. Comedy gold.
- May not be in town for TFC to take promotional advantage of "ANZAC Day at BMO Field"
- Could possibly arrive just as the summer transfer window gets set to open adding to the tumult of change and new faces
- Having to wait before unveiling our "IT'S BUSINESS TIME" banner
- Late or not, there is a dearth of professional coaching experience on TFC's bench
- The All Black 3rd kit is on hold
　
THE PROS aka "Everything will be All White"
- If Kevin Payne truly had no faith in Paul Mariner going forward then starting the season with him as a lame duck manager would have been equally, if not more, damaging to the club
- Moving too quickly from misery to hope would have had a dangerous "cold turkey" effect on TFC supporters
- Gives fans plenty of time to study up on New Zealish (we know) facts and culture as well as working on terrible accents for chanting
- Even in the event that Mariner was retained longer - it should be obvious now that final player acquisition and draft pick decisions going forward rest solely with Kevin Payne
- You can now legally use the hashtag #YouGotNelsened in Toronto if you decide to show up 4 months late for something
- "A Kiwi and an Irishman walk into a bar. Toronto FC." is a top joke.
- Make no bones about it - TFC VII is not about the first 3 months of results. Playoffs would be lovely but this season is about preparing for 2014. After six years - three more months ain't gonna kill us.
- Instead of annoying "Nelsen Out" vibe - we will be treated to warming "Nelsen In" chants
- Earl Cochrane gets the opportunity of a lifetime - the chance to "wheel-and-deal" with Harry Redknapp over Nelsen's release
- After years of shady backroom throat-cutting and subterfuge, isn't it nice to have a manager that is so wanted and backed by his president (even if you buy into the puppet conspiracy) that he would wait four months to have him?
- We totally made Montreal Impact's new manager unveiling look dull as l'eau de vaisselle
- A solid benevolent dictator is running this club now. After years of an octopus with no head in charge, Kevin Payne has let it be known that the buck stops with him. Arrogant? Maybe? Responsible? Absolutely.
- Maybe after four long months, locals and especially Toronto media will learn that it isn't spelled "NELSON" but "NELSEN"

Coming Soon to a South Stand near you...

Toronto FC Manager Introduction VIII: A Manager Too Far

"So you want a manager? I've got a deal for ya"

It seems like just yesterday we were gathered round the old wireless to meet the fearless new leader of our hometown Eff Cee's. Comforting and inspiring words like "change" "winning culture" and "positive atmosphere" still waft on the breeze between the BMO Field Press Room and the chip butty stand. Why it's almost become a treasured tradition in our corner of the football world - the Toronto FC Managerial Change (TM)... insert angel harps... now!
　
The Japanese managerial mutant monster that is Mocarvercumreki-Dasowintiner has been dispatched into the depths of Lake Ontario by the cold, steely ray gun of Kevin Payne and a new hero is set to be unleashed. No, it ain't Mothra - it's a giant Kiwi in the form of Ryan Nelsen. With a good solid few days past since his playing career ended, the most rookiest of all our rookie managers was unveiled today. Now we know that a full text transcript of a press conference is what you sadists crave - but you'll just have to do with our highlights and suffer through the linked TFC TV coverage later. Save us MegaKiwi!
　
Here's all you really need to know (now in handy point-form)
　
- Ryan Nelsen introduced as new head coach and Fran O'Leary as his assistant and also something called "Director of Recruitment"
- Kevin Payne calls it a "new era"; claims that Ryan Nelsen has "better leadership qualities than any professional athlete (Payne) has ever been around"; paints Nelsen as some type of childhood managerial prodigy who was born to coach
- Ryan Nelsen calls TFC's support and management "a shining light"
- Does indeed sound like a Flight of the Conchords character
- Fran O'Leary loves to call Nelsen "Nelly" a lot
- Kevin Payne asked if there were other candidates. Answer: "No."; He also apparently keeps a mental filing cabinet; Payne adds that Nelsen and him have discussed this move for 10 years.
- Nelsen claims tactics will match "the shining light" of TFC (sounding a bit culty). Team will "never give up, never fall over, never die.
- Ryan Nelsen is still under contract with QPR
- Wait?... What was that?
- KA-PLOOOOOOOEY!!!!!!!!!
- Everything else becomes random mumbling for the remainder of the conference as everyone tries to digest the fact that Toronto FC have hired the first ever Player/Manager who just happens to play for another team. In another league. On another continent.
- Shining light.
　
So there you have it. What will truly go down as the absolute strangest of all eight of TFC's managerial coronations. A very personable and optimistic young new manager backed by an extremely assured president. The fact that the new manager can't, you know... be with the team until Uncle 'Arry Redknapp says so... are just minor details.

No we are not down on this deal (honest), we are not pining for Paul Mariner (really honest)... but wow. Slow clap to TFC for taking the cray-cray to new heights. We'll talk more about this when our collective heads stop shaking.
　
Catch the weirdest conference ever on TFC TV here...

Domino effect begins as Reds ship Kocic and Johnson to Timbers

Another team for Milos!



With all due respect to Justin Braun, TFC has made its first major deal under Kevin Payne's leadership. The long rumoured/now official deal between Toronto and Portland sees Milos Kocic and Ryan Johnson being fitted for hipster lumberjack shirts and skinny jeans while The Reds receive Timbers' First Round SuperDraft Pick (3rd Overall) and hulking backup keeper Joe Bendik "Like Beckham" in return.
　
While the move doesn't immediately aid the ever-shrinking squad numbers of TFC, this deal can be regarded as the first domino to fall in The Reds' re-building (again) effort. By all accounts the club has a number of irons in the Scandinavian fire that they would like to make happen but were up against the wall in regards to salary cap. Eliminating Kocic and Johnson's wages helps ease that pain.
　
By acquiring another high draft pick, Kevin Payne & Posse now have some flexibility at next month's SuperDraft. They can keep both picks and pray to the Nativity Baby Jesus that both picks turn into Blue (or Red) Chips and accelerate the youth movement. They can deal one for a warm MLS body and still have a remaining high pick. Or - least likely - deal both away in a major deal or a couple of deals to plug the now increasing holes in the starting eleven. The addition of Bendik, will offer some much needed competition to Freddy Hall as the # 2 keeper and/or allow young Quinlan Roberts the opportunity to go out on loan.
　
The departing Reds will be met with different emotions from TFC supporters. Milos Kocic was more than a suitable backup keeper, especially in 2012 when Stefan Frei missed the majority of the season. His heart and spirit will be missed by many but the majority will agree that Frei is the superior keeper overall and Kocic deserves a chance elsewhere. As for Ryan Johnson, we may have not seen as mercurial a talent since Amado Guevara was here. All the tools, speed and power to be great... but always just missing that certain spark. That being said, he logged many minutes in his roles at forward/midfield and his departure leaves another big hole to fill. These dominoes better start dropping soon.

UPDATE: According to The Toronto Sun's Kurt Larson this afternoon, Freddy Hall's option is not being picked up by the club. This of course means that Joe Bendik "Like Someone" is your new # 2 keeper - and Reggie Lambe will still send out illegible Tweets. As you were.

THE STARTING 11: Things Kevin Payne found in his new office

"Hi, I'm here to pick up a Billy bookcase for Mr. Payne..."

 

Starting a new job is never easy. Starting a new job where your predecessors did their best to inadvertently drive the business into the ground is even harder. Nonetheless, Kevin Payne has embarked upon arguably the most challenging job in Major League Soccer - fixing your Toronto Eff Cee's. As the new man settles into BMO Field expectations are already high but while supporters itch for his first big move, Payne himself is simply moving. It's never fun to occupy someone else's old office, and after seven years the new boss has some clearing up to do...

11. Two giant boxes of black-and-white Adrian Cann Glamour Shots

10. A steamer trunk full of empty Twinkie wrappers with the name "Senor Collin Samuel" embossed in gold on the lid

9. Dwayne De Rosario's giant unsigned imaginary cheque

8. The secret chamber where Mo Johnston used to hide away from the media for months on end

7. A 25-pound bag of BitchyChow (TM)

6. Preki

5. The vowels needed to finally complete Raivis Hscanovics name

4. An old telephone with all ten speed dial buttons permanently set to Barry MacLean's office

3. A monkey in a shearling coat

2. A big red button under his desk with the word "MANAGER" on it that swings open a trap door

1. Four 5-Year Plans

Kevin relief.... wait....

Jump up. Jump up. Wait for it.... and get down.



A landmark occasion for Toronto FC supporting and punning as the club concluded its seven year exhaustive search today by naming Kevin Payne as Club President and General Manager. As reported here yesterday - as well as in almost every other football medium in North America - the worst kept secret in Major League Soccer was officially unveiled this afternoon. Payne, long-time president of D.C. United, has accepted what is arguably the most challenging of roles in MLS - clearing up six seasons of absolutely wasted time and resource and finally putting the "C" in TFC.
　
After years of expecting the worse from this club, and more recently having press conferences leaving heads shaking for days, today turned out to be a surprise. A pleasant one. From the moment Emperor Palpatine Tom Anselmi stopped talking and Kevin Payne began, it was like witnessing TFC grow up before our eyes. Gone was corporate double-speak, off-the-cuff ramblings and snarky blame-gaming instead replaced by thoughtful, assured and most importantly, professional answers delivered by a man who actually looks and sounds like a leader.
　
Yes, we have all been on the TFC False Dawn train before so it is hard to give in to the positive feelings fully - but - you couldn't help feel optimistic over Payne who claimed that "this is the only job in MLS he would have left D.C. for". Expectedly, the new President and GM said all the right things about the owners and the existing staff but we were left with the feeling that fools won't be suffered gladly for long at BMO Field. Those wishing for an unrealistic massive overhaul of personnel will be left wanting and indeed things may not improve on the field immediately but for today, and for the first time since 2007, many TFC fans believe that the man in charge actually knows what he's doing. Time will tell of course, but a bit of belief is more than we've had in a very long time.
　
Now MLSE, leave the man alone to do his job. Yours truly… everyone.

Insert Payne/pain pun (here): Toronto FC to name Kevin Payne as President?

"Get out ya seat and Jump Around!"



In the world of football punnage possibilities, TFC couldn’t hire anyone better than ex DC United president Kevin Payne. And, if multiple sources are to be believed, it is exactly what the leadership-phobic club has done today.
　
Hot off the heels of Payne announcing his resignation from his long-held post with United, it now looks likely that for the first time in its history, TFC may have a club president - and with actual MLS football pedigree. In his 17 years with Capital City Capitals FC, Payne is seen as an instrumental piece in the club's sometimes dominant league standing which includes four MLS Cup titles, four MLS Supporters Shields and two U.S. Open Cup titles. While his hire will not include a guarantee of success and trophies, it may just bring TFC closer to operating like a stable football club.
　
While many will see the proposed move as "bold" (Don Garber), there is a little hand-wringing going on regarding Payne. His apparent lack of knowledge of the "Canadian soccer landscape" has been floated but this seems to be reaching for pitfalls at best. Why is it a club’s responsibility to be near-and-dear to the national program? An inherently dysfunctional one at that. Yes its apples and oranges but would a club in England or Italy be concerned if a great presidential candidate had little previous dealings with the FA or the FIGC? No, they hire the best man to make their club a success as that is their responsibility.
　
The other concern in some circles is Payne's previous working relationship with Earl Cochrane and Thomas Rongen. In most cases, a familiarity with existing staff would be considered a plus but many in Toronto do not hold Earl Cochrane in great regard so there is worry that the existing rot may be able to continue. While not a hysterical fear, it is one that will only be solved if MLSE make this a complete deal. In other words, this seems to be a solid and positive move if the owners follow up 50% of the deal - identifying and signing Payne - with the second 50% - giving the new club president the mandate, and most importantly, the power to create change.
　
For the most part Kevin Payne is a complete outsider from MLSE with about as solid a resume as was available for this role. TFC supporters have been yearning for a "football man" to lead this club from the top for a long while and on the surface, we may have been given that. Of course, with Toronto FC it is always what lurks below the surface which makes all the difference. For now, we invite the Payne.
　
ANY OFFICIAL CLUB WORD WILL BE LINKED HERE

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