Today, an experiment in sociology. The effects of alcohol on atmosphere. We will study if the fabled TFC supporters will be as fired up for this game without the alcoholic stimulate. Hypothesis : forcing the subjects to watch the game will result in melancholy and indifference, including the realization that the calibre of play isn't worth singing over.
You see, the stadium had their alcohol license suspended for one game due to an infraction of some indiscriminate nature. Now, no beer. How will MLSE subsidize the cost of their designated player? I'm kidding, we don't have one...
The mighty reds are coming off of a 3-1 victory over the hapless Earthquakes. Vitti and The Chad scoring. Even in the face of thinking this is a conspiracy, MLSE names one of the player of the week. Must be my shite karma...
Houston are in a bit of a skid and are missing "Twitter" Ching who's on national team duty. You know, who cares about Houston Dynamo 1836 Athletic F.C. On to the match...
4 - Houston's Kamara breaks into the box and fires right with the most rediculous mohican ever. It looks like a cross between a spartan helmet and The hair style Chris Tucker rocked in Fifth Element. Oh, and the shot, he missed.
6 - The Chad gets into the 18 and just fires it over the bar.
7 - DeRo breaks in the right side of the box driving the ball low right forcing a diving stop from Onstad. Good shot, gooder save.
8 - DeRo heaps on the class by putting a ball 50 yards across the pitch to find Brennan just misjudge it. Just gorgeous.
Whew, all this action so early, I could use a beer. My choices are A&W or Barq's. Mmmm... Root beer jokes.
"fuck, fuck the dynamo"... Our capo will never be nominated with drivel like that. Fun fact: 95% of our chants have "Toronto", "love", "allez" or "fuck" in it... Save the two Dichio songs. Its that annoying that it makes the report.
Anyways...
11 - Vitti serves a ball into the box that DeRo gets a head to, but redirects it to just over the bar.
12 - Brian Mullan with his first shot beating everyone but the crossbar. Helluva shot, but the ricochet offered nothing and the reds clear.
19 - Guevara passed on a shot just right of the keeper to lay it off to Vitti who doesn't miss by much into the side netting.
Seriously, it takes the signing of a new forward for our old ones to start launching balls CLOSE to the net, and in some extreme cases, INTO?!
24 -
YELLOW - Vitti for diving (apparently) after getting hauled down outside of the box. A weak call at that.
27 - TFC is starting to look rough keeping the play in a third of the pitch. What makes no sense is that it is the LEFT THIRD.
29 - The Chad run into a ball from Guevara and only misses by 1 or 2 yards. Barrett's getting closer...
34 - After a previous clash, Serioux goes down a second time in 3 minutes and is not going to get up in time to meet the count. It appears to be the end of his day.
36 -
SUB - Dichio for Serioux. Now we're in 4-3-3 mode... which leads us to a...
37 -
GOAL - Wynne threads a pass that Dichio dummies through his legs to DeRosario who puts it low and left and into the net. The dry villiagers rejoice.
45 - Wynne gets taken down with a hipcheck after having the whole right side to roam freely like the buffalo once did. No yellow for that action.
45+2 - Kamara and Robinson get tangled up which the ref awards a Houston free kick 5 yards outside of the Toronto box. While Kamara is hamming it up for the television audience by rolling around like Honduran stalling for time (more on that later), his flailing legs get tangled up in Robinson's legs and he starts throwing punches. Fists start-a-flying and someone gets a booking... no idea who.
HALF-TIME. Mood : Content with wavering between melancholic and euphoric
47 - Guevara free kick headed on by The Chad, saved by Onstad. He's getting closer...
50 - DeRo loses his man, looping the ball over the central defender only to have a maurading Dichio getting a weak knee to the ball and putting it over the bar.
I repeat : DeRo wins championships.
55 -
YELLOW - Garcia goes into the books for holding on to the Houston forward in a tackle. Yes to foul, no to card.
59 - Oduro gets a low bullet off at Frei, that he stopped but bobbled a little between his legs. You can feel the shift in momentum.
63 - Dichio lays a ball off for the Chad, shot blocked by Onstad but bouncing towards the net, only to be cleared off the line from Boswell. Outstanding play by the defender. The nice words for him end there.
69 - TFC reverts to that familiar-yet-unnecessary 9-0-1 formation that usually results in...
74 -
GOAL- Boswell bags a chippy and clumsy goal after a scramble in front of Frei. Can't take that sucker back, can ya?
80 -
SUB - Ibrahim for Barrett. The Chad pulls up with a cramp. It is cramping season, you know. Arguably, the substitute for shaking things up was about 10 minutes too late.
85 - Guevara free kick just shanked wide by Attakora sliding into the play. Oh Nana... would've been a stellar goal young man.
Quote of the match: (in respone to the 50/50 draw jackpot of $4400) "$4400, man, that's a lot of lube.", "Yeah, that is a lot of loot..."
90 -
SUB - Velez for Vitti. Too. Damn. Late.
FULL TIME: TFC 1 - Houston 1
Man of the Match : I'm picking Attakora. He played wonderfully and no one could beat him. Very very very solid left back. Well done sir.
Goat : Umm... I'm going to go with nobody here. We did miss Cronin though but that's not to say someone else played poorly.
Ref meter : 2 out of 5. He kinda ruined his reputation with two unnecessary yellows. He started off strong, but just got worse.
So the sociology experiment results are as follows : No alcohol = decrease in atmosphere.
I suppose the atmosphere would've been better if there was alcohol, but the necessity for alcohol to improve atmosphere goes as follows: If TFC played better, so many people wouldn't need it to distract them from the notion that the quality of MLS is not that good. If somehow you could play the Canada Gold Cup team in MLS, it would win the league hands down. The class is spectacular. However, though there's only one DeRo, there is ONLY ONE DeRo. The other ten are not in the same class as him.
If MLSE needs alcohol to keep the illusion that this mediocre display is "just like in Europe" or whatever sales pitch they need to fool the rest of the stadium to "come to the party", then crackdown on alcohol served because it wasn't worth half-assing it... atmosphere and in the pocket books and in customer satisfaction with causing people to wait 25 minutes to get into the ground.
It was great that an email was sent to "get here early", but more could have been done to service the glut that was two pat-downs to discover nothing. And if you're going to make it a dry game, by force or otherwise, try turning it into a positive: Mothers Against Drunk Driving, cheap(er) beverages, give out samples of
Pepsi bottled tap water Aquafina. Also checking the script of "if you've been drinking, don't drive" comments only seem to patronize the responsible 90% of the beer purchasing population.
That being said, our neighbour has received some excellent customer service in the form of printed tickets for his next games. Talked to his ticket rep about a busted printer, rep told him to text him when he got in the ground, did so and delivered his tickets right to his seat. Outstanding work guys.
See, I'll give props when they are warranted.
Now for the Honduran comment. Canada crashed out of the Gold Cup and did not deserve to go out like that. Canada played hard, with integrity and probably should've given one of those diving morons a few studs in the calf. If you're going to roll around like you're that hurt, you should BE that hurt. De Guzman played outstanding. The ref, while calling an otherwise good game, blew the only call that mattered : a "hand ball" on Stalteri that went off of his head. Not fair at all.
Aside from the usual cheap tactics employed by Honduras, it was disrespectful to the game but then again, I'm not writing anything that we don't already know and something I should've remembered long before. I'd rather lose with dignity than win at any cost.
Canada showed resolve. Just relentless attacking by the real reds and put Honduras to work. Never gave up at all. But brilliant footy Canada. Just brilliant. You missed some of the prettiest football you may ever see by lads in a Canada shirt.
So very very proud.
If we gave a crap for our soccer in this country, they should receive a heroes welcome.
But they won't and that's more wrong than the blown call or the Honduran national cheat squad.
Left: decoy; Right: Dicoy
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