THE STARTING 11: Things that Toronto FC are giving thanks for

It's that most wonderful time of the year again when Canadians celebrate getting a draw against Turkey in the Great Pumpkin War. Never forget the nutmeg we lost in Istanbul. On this most solemn of days, it is right to give thanks for the things we often take for granted. This "GivingThanksDay" (what a great name for a holiday - we should TM that) is one not overlooked by the players and staff at TFC who are individually giving thanks for:

11. BRIGHT DIKE: the fact he still exists despite TFC's best efforts to disguise his whereabouts

10. JASON BENT: Immortality

9. MARK BLOOM: Coupons from No Frills

8. DANIEL LOVITZ: Shallow depth charts

7. WARREN CREAVALLE: A barber who remembers what Big Daddy Kane looks like

6. BRADLEY ORR: 360 days without headbutting someone

5. JACKSON: 357 days without headbutting someone

4. MICHAEL BRADLEY: The giant pile of money that makes him temporarily forget he was playing for Roma one year ago

3. GREG VANNEY: Making Tim Bezbatchenko believe using the word "interim" was for wimps

2. JERMAIN DEFOE: The generous volume of daily flights from Toronto to London

1. DWAYNE DE ROSARIO: Having one last chance to remind himself why he left this club in the first place

THE STARTING 11: Things that happened during Toronto FC's Thanksgiving team dinner

You can taste the Istanbul!



Happy Turkey Day gang! Leaves have changed, pumpkins have ripened into Starbucks drinks, cranberry gloop has gloopened out of tins, all whilst families gather across this great land. Today we celebrate the first Canadian harvest back in 1288 AD under Turkish warlord Hakan the Hirsute and the Ottoman legacy of which our northern tundra was founded. I had a severe drinking problem during Grade 10 Canadian History. Enough about me though - another "family" of sorts that came together for a slap-up meal are our very own #TFCfamily (I feel dirty) - that hilarious comedy troupe/ football team, Toronto FC. Oh to be a fly on their table this weekend...

11. The bread rolls turned out to be slightly stale - Ryan Nelsen immediately blamed referees

10. A perfectly good dish was given away to another family to make space for a whole bunch of new dishes that were supposed to arrive to take its place.

9. Jimmy Brennan named new Head Chef

8. Everyone was asked to block Collin Samuel's phone number for the duration of the meal

7. People kept asking if "anyone had seen Bitchy the Hawk recently?"

6. Tim Leiweke kept apologizing during dinner and promising that next year's meal would be so much better after he acquired two expensive side dishes.

5. Justin Braun asked Reggie Lambe to pass him the gravy - disaster ensued

4. Tim Bezbatchenko spent entire meal on the phone desperately trying to trade 11 useless giblets for a couple of decent wings

3. Danny Koevermans injured himself on pie

2. Someone found a lame duck - immediately signed it to a lucrative 4-year DP contract

1. Everyone was simply content to watch a different bunch of turkeys get stuffed for once


And now ladies and gentleman... The Ode to the Great Canadian Poultry War of 1579... 



HAPPY T'GIVES Y'ALL! ALL HAIL HAKAN THE HIRSUTE!

THE STARTING 11: Ways that Thanksgiving dinner is similar to supporting Toronto FC

The Right Honouable John A. McGobble



Today is the day Canadians gather together in our National Igloo to celebrate the birth of our first Prime Minister - a wild turkey from the Yukon. Now that our American readers are thoroughly confused we can get down to the business of brusselling our sprouts and sweetening our potatoes. As downtrodden TFC supporters get ready to sit around the table with their families today, it may dawn on them that the often trying "traditional holiday meal" has some similarities to their other abusive relationship - supporting The Reds...

11. You start drinking a good three hours before the whole thing starts just to get through it

10. The host spends all their energy telling you how fantastic the gravy is despite the rest of the offerings being dry, dull and stale

9. Halfway through the proceedings it dawns on you that you could be sitting at home watching movies in your underwear

8. Much like Canadian Thanksgiving, TFC marks the end of their MLS season in early October - a full month before their American counterparts

7. You have to sit and watch a turkey not move for 90 minutes

6. Jim Brennan just won't leave

5. Inevitably, someone is challenged to meet outside for a fight

4. You always end up leaving with an upset stomach

3. No matter how hard you try, you just can't think of things to be thankful for this year

2. Somebody always thinks it appropriate to show up wearing shorts

1. You are fed the same crap you had for the last six years

THE STARTING 11: Strange moments during TFC's Thanksgiving Team Dinner

Never forget.



With a coaching staff and a number of players far from home, it's always a nice touch to get everyone together for a bonding holiday meal. When Toronto FC sat down for their holiday supper, it was the first taste of a North American Thanksgiving for many of The Reds. The club no doubt wanted a special day for all involved but just like any family gathering, a few things went awry.
　
11. Club announces after dinner that 30 people showed up for the meal even though it was obvious that only 18 were in attendance
　
10. Audible giggling every time Bob de Klerk said "Tankshgivingsh"
　
9. Leftovers quickly rushed to BMO Field - put between buttered bread and readied for sale at next home match
　
8. Turkey out for 6 months with ACL tear in drumstick
　
7. Mysterious giant Tupperware container at end of table with "Property of C. Samuel" written on the lid
　
6. Danny Dichio dressing up in a pilgrim costume - giving Jim Brennan smallpox
　
5. Jacob Peterson going on Twitter from San Jose just to insult Canadian Thanksgiving
　
4. Aron Winter proclaiming dry poultry "a pity"
　
3. Belgian Mikael Yourassowsky offended by "racist" Brussels Sprouts
　
2. Bread rolls being passed down the table - slipping easily between the outstretched hands of Ty Harden and Andy Iro
　
1. Bitchy The Hawk... not seen since morning
　
HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!
ENJOY YOUR DINNER - HERE'S A SONG ABOUT TURKEY...

"Get stuffed!" - Thanksgiving with TFC

Not a Chip Butty in sight



It's that time of year when loved ones gather to give thanks for all they have received over the past year. While some Reds' supporters may have not reaped the harvest they expected in 2011, there are still some morsels worth savouring.
　
Yes, an autumnal playoff bounty is beyond our reach once again, but hopes of a winter (or Winter) seeding gives supporters a light ahead for spring. Considering this time last year we were still picking Mo-furkey from our teeth - it could be worse.
　
So, tuck in your speculative Champions League Quarterfinal napkin (on sale now at RealSports for $57.99) and sit down for a specially prepared BMO Field Thanksgiving dinner, made from the finest ingredients that TFC managed to cobble together this year.
　
THE TURKEY: Despite five years roasting in its own self-worthy juices, MLSE is indeed the big dried-out bird. Tough to chew on and often hard-to-swallow, this carcass won't stop telling you how much better it will taste next year while constantly gobble-gobbling at your purse strings.
　
THE STUFFING: The only thing that made the poultry edible this year was the hope that the stuff inside was planning to add some flavour. ARON WINTER and BOB DE KLERK added the "total" spices to the few breadcrumbs that PAUL MARINER could rustle together. Definitely needs some off-season peppering.
　
BREAD ROLLS: Solid and filling despite being buttered with shots all year long, STEFAN FREI and MILOS KOCIC are the unsung heroes of the meal and surprisingly not too crusty after being left to bake alone so many times.
　
SWEET POTATO: Nothing filled the middle of the plate like the sugary staple DWAYNE DE ROSARIO. Always good for a tasty turn but not at his best flavour without the added sugar he wanted. TFC dubiously shared their portion with friends to the south where he aims to keep bringing sweetness until American Thanksgiving.
　
MASHED POTATO: Just what you need to fill the void - a big hearty portion of Bavarian-style TORSTEN FRINGS. Sturdy, solid and while he may not have the dash of a sweet potato, a TFC feast without him just doesn't satisfy.
　
BRUSSELS SPROUTS: The robust yet frustrating vegetation in the middle of the plate is undeniably JULIAN DE GUZMAN. You're hit-or-miss with your portion and even though you know it's good for you, it still often leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
　
TURNIPS: They are awkward, misshapen and you don't know quite how they got there. TY HARDEN and ANDY IRO are indeed the two root vegetables stuck in the middle of the meal. Dress em' up any way you can - they still don't taste quite right and are disastrous in pairs.
　
CRANBERRY SAUCE: A big dollop of angry red garnish on the side can only be RICHARD ECKERSLEY. Unexpectedly adding zing, this imported delicacy has often been the only flavour in a bland offering - has quite a bite too.
　
BABY CARROTS: Often a little too raw, but you just know if they are given the time to simmer to perfection ASHTONE MORGAN, MATT STINSON and DONEIL HENRY can be a staple for years to come. Something grown in your own backyard just tastes that much better.
　
THE GRAVY: Even when the offerings seemed dry and tasteless in 2011, a pint-sized gravy boat in the form of JOAO PLATA added just enough sauce to liven up a BMO Field meal. Smooth and sometimes a bit spicy, he was often the "shake and bake" that made things more palatable.
　
PUMPKIN PIE: A late edition but a great way to end the meal. Looking great in orange and delivering a reliable finish is a big slice of DANNY KOEVERMANS. Baked fresh late in the season, this Dutch treat may just be the most dependable meal finisher this table has ever seen.
　
We give thanks for the few scraps on our table this autumn. But... we still expect a bigger, better cornucopia in 2012 - and a season that ends closer to American Thanksgiving. If not, Bitchy the Hawk might start looking tasty.

THE STARTING 11: Thanksgiving festivities in the Toronto FC Head Office

Mmm... turkey

It's that special holiday where we gather with friends and family, to give thanks for all the blessings we have received during the year. For Toronto FC supporters, we give thanks for umm... oh, what about - nah.... oh there was that time... ugh. Let's see... jeez. Mo Johnston being fired? High above our seats, in the TFC Head Offices, there's much to give thanks for. Namely, supporters with short memories and / or low attention spans. The suits aren't all that different from us though, they still have traditions and festivities that take place on Canadian Turkey Day...
　
11. Having 30 people over for supper - announcing that 250 attended
　
10. Dressing up Ex-Soviets and African trialists as Pilgrims and Natives
　
9. Cooking a dryer turkey than last year - charging 35% more for it
　
8. Eating leftover Panda steak, Dolphin filet and Bald Eagle pate from the last ML$E Board of Directors meeting
　
7. First Wave Agency sends a giant gift basket (Cancelled... for now)
　
6. You can have stuffing - if you buy Marlies' season tickets
　
5. Making a festive centrepiece in Julian de Guzman's hair
　
4. Take Mista on a hayride... to the airport
　
3. De Ro makes a cheque signing motion when he wants more sweet potato
　
2. Promise guests to buy the best dessert available on the market - instead buy a box of stale Latvian donuts
　
1. Danny Dichio carves the butty

Mmm... Turkey