Red Hot Reds' Supporters' Romance Quiz

"You had me at foot"

"BMO Field is for Lovers"… said no t-shirt ever. Despite that, today is the day to stop fretting over Matias Laba’s next move and ponder upon that special person in your life. And no - we don't mean Julio Cesar. It's Valentine's Day - the day to celebrate all things amour... because French stuff always goes swimmingly at TFC. Put your MLS aside for a day and set your tactics to "4-4-Lurve".

　

In the spirit of getting your raging heart on, please take the time to fill out the 2014 "Red Hot Reds' Supporter Romance Quiz". It is the most scientifically proven* (* not any form of science known to humans) Major League Soccer/Romance test since the infamous "Tampa Bay Mutiny Presents: Is Your Wife Cheating on You" quiz of 1997. So before you sit your spouse/partner/hired "friend" down to an evening of microwaved tin pasta and a 90 minute snuggle in front of your 1991 FA Cup Semi-Final DVD... answer these February 14 questions to see just how red hot a Red you are.

　

HOW TO SCORE: 1 Point for every A; 2 Points for every B; 3 points for every C; and 4 points for every D

　

1. If you were buying your partner a sexy item of clothing, what would it be?

A) Workout gear B) A pair of sexy heels C) Some red undergarments D) A rare 2007 Adam Braz kit

　

2. How long do you wait before trying to bed a new partner?

A) After 4 or 5 friendly dates B) Try to seduce them on the 2nd date C) Nothing like a one-night stand! D) I have a 5 Year Plan

　

3. How do you first get to know a partner?

A) Exchange some pleasant e-mails B) Meet up for a coffee C) A few flirty texts D) An online dating profile that says "Get Used To It"

　

4. Who most inspires you to be romantic?

A) Poets B) Painters C) Musicians D) Joe Cannon

　

5. If you were making a romantic meal, what would be your specialty?

A) A warm soup B) A pasta dish C) Red Velvet Cake D) Chip Butty

　

6. If you were to put some drinks on ice for the evening, what would you serve?

A) Some sparkling mineral water B) Champagne C) An expensive red wine D) $11 Dollar pint of Carlsberg in a plastic cup

　

7. What term do you use for "love-making"?

A) "A friendly" B) "Getting lucky" C) "Scoring" D) "Drilling one into the box"

　

8. How would you best describe your technique in bed?

A) "Sweet and tender" B) "Confident and assured" C) "Erotic and adventurous" D) "Like a Doneil Henry tackle from behind"

　

9. If you could get your significant other to "dress up" for you, what costume would you choose?

A) French maid B) Hot cop C) The "Scotts' Turf Girl" D) Bitchy the Hawk

　

10. What is your favourite position?

A) Spooning B) Classic missionary C) Something from the Kama Sutra D) Defensive Midfielder

　

11. What taboo experience do you most crave?

A) A night in a pleasant Columbus, Ohio hotel B) A very public adventure C) Hooking up with a complete stranger D) Having two guys named Tim show up

　

12. What name would you like to be called in bed?

A) "Sweetheart" B) "Stud" C) "The best lover in the modern era" D) "A Bloody Big Deal"

　

13. If you could choose a fantasy name for yourself - what would it be?

A) Mr. Right B) The Designated Player C) Kevin Pain D) Commissioner Dong Grabber

　

14. What do you find most physically attractive on your partner?

A) Their smile B) Their hair C) Their eyes D) Their South End

　

HOW DID YOU DO?

If you scored:

　

14-20 points - you are a TRIALIST: You've got a long way to go before you're ready for the big-time. Time to put down FIFA 14 and meet a real girl - watching the Canadian Women's team doesn't count as a date.

　

21-34 points - you are in the ACADEMY: You've got some potential but there are lots like you out there. Work on your romance or end up in a USL-type relationship... or alone with your own Rochester Raging Rhino.

　

35-48 points - you are on the FIRST TEAM: You are definitely a Major Leaguer in the old football shorts department. However, there is still room for improvement so don't get too cocky. No one wants a Mista in their bed.

49 points and higher - you are a DP: No not that kind of DP (you commendable perv) - the MLS kind! You are on top of your game and could have the pick of the litter at BMO Field. You've got the physique of a Dichio, the charm of a Ricketts, the accent of Laurent Robert and the animal magnetism of a Raivis Hscanovics. Reds' lovin' ladies would love some of your support! "Up The Reds!" At least until Jermain Defoe arrives and steals all of our ladies.



The Red Hot Reds' Supporters' Romance Quiz

You always hurt me, but I can't quit you.

"BMO Field is for Lovers"… said no t-shirt ever. Despite that, today is the day to stop dreaming of trialists, injuries and potential signings and ponder upon that special person in your life. And no - we don't mean Terry Dunfield. Yes, it's Valentine's Day - the day to celebrate all things amour... because French stuff always goes swimmingly at TFC. Put your MLS aside for a day (and that includes Zarek Valentin) to concentrate on the lurve.
　
In the spirit of getting your raging heart on, we have brought back an updated "Red Hot Reds' Supporters' Romance Quiz". It is the most scientifically proven* (depending on your definition of science) Major League Soccer/Romance test since the infamous "Tampa Bay Mutiny Presents: Is Your Wife Cheating on You?" quiz of 1997. So before you sit your lady/partner/random acquaintance down to an evening of microwaved tin pasta and a 90 minute snuggle in front of your 1991 FA Cup Semi-Final DVD... answer these February 14 questions to see just how red hot a Red you are.
　
HOW TO SCORE: 1 Point for every A; 2 Points for every B; 3 points for every C; and 4 points for every D
　
1. If you were buying your partner a sexy item of clothing, what would it be?
A) Adidas coach's shorts B) A pair of sexy boots C) Some red undergarments D) A red & grey bar scarf
　
2. How long do you wait before trying to bed a new partner?
A) After 4 or 5 friendly dates B) Try to seduce them on the 2nd date C) Nothing like a one-night stand! D) I have a 5 Year Plan
　
3. How do you first get to know a partner?
A) Exchange some pleasant e-mails B) Meet up for a coffee C) A few flirty texts D) Get Reggie Lambe to send them confusing Tweets in Bermudian patois
　
4. Who most inspires you to be romantic?
A) Poets B) Painters C) Musicians D) Joe Cannon
　
5. If you were making a romantic meal, what would be your specialty?
A) A warm soup B) A pasta dish C) Red Velvet Cake D) Chip Butty
　
6. If you were to put some drinks on ice for the evening, what would you serve?
A) Some sparkling mineral water B) Champagne C) An expensive red wine D) $11 Dollar pint of Carlsberg in a plastic cup
　
7. What term do you use for "love-making"?
A) "A friendly" B) "Getting lucky" C) "Scoring" D) "Drilling one into the box"
　
8. How would you best describe your technique in bed?
A) "Sweet and tender" B) "Confident and assured" C) "Erotic and adventurous" D) "Like a series of Richard Eckersley tackles from behind"
　
9. If you could get your significant other to "dress up" for you, what costume would you choose?
A) French maid B) Hot cop C) The "Scotts' Turf Girl" D) Stefan Frei
　
10. What is your favourite position?
A) Classic missionary B) Spooning C) Something from the Kama Sutra D) Defensive Midfielder
　
11. What taboo experience do you most crave?
A) A night in a Columbus, Ohio hotel B) A very public adventure C) Hooking up with a complete stranger D) The Playoffs
　
12. What name would you like to be called in bed?
A) "Sweetheart" B) "Stud" C) "The best lover in the modern era" D) "Joe Bendik"
　
13. If you could choose a fantasy name for yourself - what would it be?
A) Mr. Right B) Fabio C) Justin Brawn D) Commissioner Dong Grabber
　
14. What do you find most physically attractive on your partner?
A) Their smile B) Their hair C) Their eyes D) Their South End
　
HOW DID YOU DO?
If you scored:
　
14-20 points - you are a TRIALIST: You've got a long way to go before you're ready for the big-time. Time to put down FIFA 13 and meet a real girl - watching the Canadian Women's team at the Olympics doesn't count as a date.
　
21-34 points - you are in the ACADEMY: You've got some potential but there are lots like you out there. Work on your romance or end up in a USL-type relationship... or alone with your own Rochester Raging Rhino.
　
35-48 points - you are on the FIRST TEAM: You are definitely a Major Leaguer in the old football shorts department. However, there is still room for improvement so don't get too cocky or you'll end up like Julian de Guzman - a chance to do a Toronto nice but instead finding yourself spending your days playing Scrabble with a down-and-out German.
　
49 points and higher - you are a DP: No not that kind of DP (you commendable perv) - the MLS kind! You are on top of your game and could have the pick of the litter at BMO Field. You've got the physique of a Dichio, the charm of a Ricketts, the accent of Laurent Robert and the animal magnetism of a Raivis Hscanovics. Reds' lovin' ladies would love some of your support! "Up The Reds!"

The Red Hot Reds' Supporters' Romance Quiz

"You'll never leave me, will you footballs?"

It's Valentine's Day today, the one day of the year where you really shouldn't spend the night watching Sky Sports News, sit around catching up on the latest Champions League updates (no Gareth Bale? Yikes!) nor dare I say it - surfing your favourite Toronto FC blog! But hey, you're here now so why not make the most of your break from romance and test your libido as a virulent, healthy Reds supporting male. Sorry to disappoint our female readers - but the ladies' version isn't up to scratch... our apologies to all three of you.

Much in the vein of your significant other's Cosmopolitan magazine "great sex" quizzes, we bring you The Yorkies very own "Are You A Hot TFC Supporter Or Not" test - 14 hot questions on February 14th. Since it's based in the world of North American football, just consider it a “Cosmos“-politan quiz. So, sit back in your sexiest TFC manties and take this very scientific analysis to see if you are indeed smouldering like BMO on an August Saturday...

HOW TO SCORE: 1 Point for every A; 2 Points for every B; 3 points for every C; and 4 points for every D

1. If you were buying your partner a sexy item of clothing, what would it be?
A) A comfy plush robe B) A pair of sexy high heels C) Some red lingerie D) A red & grey bar scarf

2. How long do you wait before trying to go to bed with a new lady-friend?
A) After 3 or 4 nice dates B) Try to seduce her on the 2nd date C) Nothing like a one-night stand! D) I use Mo Johnston's 5 Year Plan

3. What kind of hairstyle do you find most attractive on a lady?
A) Long blonde hair B) A sexy short brunette do C) Anything red D) Scarborough Corn Rows

4. What do you think is the sexiest animal?
A) A dolphin B) A black panther C) A beaver D) "Bitchy" The Hawk

5. If you were making a romantic dinner, what would be your specialty?
A) A steak dinner B) A pasta dish C) Chocolate Lava Cake D) Chip Butty

6. If you were to put some drinks on ice for the evening, what would you serve?
A) Some Ginger Ale B) Champagne C) An expensive red wine D) $9 Dollar pint of Carlsberg

7. What term do you use for "love-making"?
A) "The relations" B) "Getting lucky" C) "Scoring" D) "Drilling one into the box"

8. How would you best describe your technique in bed?
A) "Sweet & tender" B) "Masculine and assured" C) "Exotic and adventurous" D) Like a Dan Gargan tackle from behind"

9. If you could get your lady to "dress up" for you, what costume would you choose?
A) French maid B) A naughty nurse C) The "Scotts' Turf Girl" D) Stefan Frei

10. What is your favourite postion?
A) Classic missionary B) Her in control C) Something in the Kama Sutra D) Defensive Midfielder

11. What's your wildest experience?
A) A night in a fancy hotel B) A very public adventure C) Hooking up with a total stranger D) a 4-3-3

12. What name would you like your partner to call you in bed?
A) "Sweetheart" B) "Stud" C) "An animal" D) Danny Dichio

13. If you could choose a fantasy name for yourself - which would it be?
A) McDreamy B) Fabio C) Romeo D) Commissioner Dong Garber

14. If you videotaped your lovemaking it would most resemble...
A) A couples "how-to" video B) scenes from the Playboy Mansion C) a XXX DVD D) GOL-TV

HOW DID YOU DO?
If you scored:
14-20 points you are a TRIALIST: You've got a long way to go before you're ready for the big-time. Time to put down FIFA 11 and meet a real girl - watching the Women's World Cup doesn't count.
21-34 points you are in the ACADEMY: You've got a little bit of potential but there's lots like you out there. Work on your romance or end up in a USL-type relationship... or alone with your own Rochester Raging Rhino.
35-48 you are on the 1ST TEAM: You are definitely a Major Leaguer in the old football shorts department. However, there is still room for improvement so don't get too cocky or you'll end up like Jeff Cunningham - a chance to drive a Toronto-like lady wild but instead spend the rest of your days stuck with a Columbus-type wife.
49 points and higher you are a DP: No not that kind of DP (but your thinking is commended!) - the MLS kind! You are on top of your game and could have the pick of the litter at BMO Field. You've got the physique of a Dichio, the charm of a Ricketts, the accent of Laurent Robert and the animal magnetism of Raivis Hscanovics. Reds' lovin' ladies would love some of your support! "There's only one Valentine's!"

Like Cosmo, just more "S"... and Beckenbauer