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Monday, July 12, 2010

THE STARTING 11: Ways the World Cup will change TFC

Paul predicts Mo is getting a contract extension. Stupid octopus.

Well, the World Cup is over. The Spanish team is celebrating their victory today, driving through Madrid throwing paella at their fans while bulls rampage through the crowd. Or so I'm led to believe. Meanwhile, millions of sad Dutch supporters were forced to throw away their "celebration marijuana" and buy "sadness marijuana" instead. It's hard to pour mayonnaise on French Fries with tears in your eyes you know! The post-Cup vibrations were felt here in Toronto too but what will the lasting effects of the South African tournament be on our local club?
11. Stadium to be renamed "Royal BMOFeng"
10. Visiting MLS teams forced to drive bus through "African Lion Safari"
9. When TFC gets eliminated from MLS Playoffs, College Street suddenly becomes home to hundreds of "long-time" Columbus Crew fans... then New York Red Bulls... then Los Angeles Galaxy
8. BMO Field French Fries to go on strike after one match
7. Mo taking a good look at "solid" North Korean defenders
6. Canadian Internationals still confused about "what this World Cup is they keep hearing about?"
5. All Italians in attendance forced to leave match much earlier than expected
4. GO Trains must now blow Vuvuzela horn as they enter Exhibition Station
3. Members of the Dutch Royal family to kick balls at stacked pizza boxes at halftime
2. "Bitchy" the hawk to be replace with "Paul" the psychic octopus
1. Monkey Butty

BMO Field? Turn left at the chimps.


  1. luv the african safari and the long-time fans shit. but wtf is butty? almost every starting 11 thing has butty in it

  2. Hey Anon 9:50! Thanks for reading and to answer your question, "Butty" is short for Chip Butty - the British "delicacy" of chips (French Fries) in a heavily buttered white bread sandwich which is happily served to carb lovers at Toronto's BMO Field. Hope that helps... please don't try to eat it at home unless accompanied by a trained professional. Cheers!